M.E.& February family get together

February started with a lovely sunny cold winter's day, after all the grey wet days it was very welcome.

Jon and Sarah moved into their flat on the 1st Feb. It took me about 2 hours of stopping and starting to chop a few veg and put the ingredients for a sausage casserole into the slow cooker, but I felt I had achieved something by doing it. My hands and fingers were swollen and hurting like hell, but the casserole tasted lovely and was appreciated by Jon and Sarah.

Me with my "Dame Judy Dench" hairstyle. Yes its very short, but I just couldn't cope with it anymore being longer. After being in bed so much in January with it looking a mess and stinking I decided to go short!
I have a very hyper sensitive nose, it I almost feel like a sniffer dog lol.

Anyway after the casserole with Jon and Sarah  I went to bed as i was shattered as I had been working too.
I had a rude awakening about 3.00am with stomach cramps then diarrhoea and wind!. I spent most of the night stuck on the toilet!                                 
I was worried that I had poisoned Jon and Sarah but they were fine. I think it was a bug that lasted about 24 hours, not pleasant at all!. 
By the evening I was fine and I had a slow walk to Jon's flat, Bob was their helping to put things together and up. I left them to it after about 30 mins and walked back to my flat. Its about a 10 min walk for me to Jon's flat. I went to bed as soon as I got in and slept solidly till my alarm went off at 7.15am.
Friday 3rd I went to work, felt rough as I had not had much sleep due to muscle spasms in my legs, but I coped, sometimes I still try to go to work when I'm not too good as it helps to keep my brain occupied on something else rather than the pain. After work I rested as I had to go back to work for a meeting at 7.00pm, then afterwards a few of us went to The Taj Mahal for an Indian meal,was lovely too.
Friday during the night my legs were so painful I couldn't sleep, so I got up and stayed up till 5.30am, by then the tramadol had worked and I was able to sleep. I didn't wake till 2.30pm, then I had the sweats  and shakes! I needed food quickly as I was having blood sugar drops, so it was sugar puffs for breakfast, followed by a cuppa and a couple of cigarettes, tablets and then back to bed till 6.00pm. I got up for an hour or so, had a drink, a sandwich more tablets and just went back to bed. I hadn't got the energy to do anything else.
Sunday afternoon, Matthew my 6 year old grandson arrived at my flat, he had been to spend the weekend with his Dad, but couldn't go back to Carmarthen as Katie had been admitted to hospital as they thought Charlie was going to have to be born as he was in a weird position and causing great discomfort to Katie.
I got my bag packed, contacted my boss and booked a week off work then Bob took me and Matthew to Carmarthen the next morning.At Matthews bedtime he refused to go in his own bed, he had decided he wanted to sleep with me, thankfully in a double bed. Katie was better and their was no sign of Charlie being born so I came back on Thursday afternoon, which was Bob's 60th birthday, he met us at my flat, we all had a drink, then Katie and Ross went back to Carmarthen. Bob stayed at mine till about 6.00pm, when he went I went to bed, I was completely shattered. 
The kids were all coming home for Bob's birthday weekend, for the first time in 10years, since Richard's passing out parade for the army, we would all be together. I had been so excited, the excitement was making me tired!.
Richard and Kyrie arrived first.

Then Katie and Ross and Matthew.

 Matthew studying the menu!
Jon and Sarah live in Machynlleth the same as me.

We all met up at Jon and Sarah's flat, stayed their a couple of hours, it was lovely the kids were reminiscing about when they were kids, lots of laughs and fun. Soon we were all tired, Bobby had been texting he was travelling through the night on a coach from Aberdeen to Birmingham, then on a train from Birmingham to Machynlleth, he would arrive in Mach at 9.00am Saturday morning.

A very tired Bobby, he went straight to Jon and Sarah's flat and cooked them breakfast, then they all arrived at my flat and we went to Aberystwyth.
Katie had arranged to pick the cake up, I had arranged for the birthday balloons to sent to the restaurant.
After Aberystwyth I rested before getting ready to go out. We all went to the restaurant for 7.30pm.

Bob, my husband.

Our Children, Katie who is Matthew's mum and charlie is due soon, Richard in the black T-shirt who is in the Army, Jon, in the checked shirt, he is a mechanic, and Bobby in the white T-shirt, he has Cerebal Palsy and ADHD, he is a chef and at present working in Aberdeen. This is the first photo of them all together for 10 years.

Matthew and Bobby.

Katie, I love this photo of her. I can't wait for Charlie to be born. Think she will be glad too.

The cake...One of Bob's hobbies is scuba diving, as you can tell by the cake.

Matthew and Grandad, Matthew grabbed the diver and ate it!
He did the same when Bobby was 21, we had a cake made and the was a Chef on it, he grabbed it and ate it.

Jon and Bobby.

Last photo, all of us together.
We will all be together in September when Jon and sarah get married.
Matthew loved seeing all his Uncles together for the first time. We all enjoyed being together it was a wonderful weekend.


The ones that live away left on Sunday afternoon, however Matthew decided he wanted to stay with Grandad for a few days.




As you can imagine I was in bed quite early sunday night and i slept solidly till my alarm went off. I thought it was 7.00am, had a wash and washed my hair, then decided to make a cuppa and watch sky news. I couldn't believe it, the time was 6.15am, Matthew had helped me move my things back into my room from the spare room Sunday afternoon and he had changed my clock with out me noticing!
By 1.00pm I was struggling to stay awake, so went outside and had a cigarette in the cold air which woke me up quite quickly. Arms, legs and my back hurt by the time I finished work so I had some tramadol and got into bed for a couple of hours.
Bob and Matthew arrived about 6.00pm, Matthew thought it so funny that I had been up very early! We had dinner together then when they left I had more tablets and a cigarette and went to bed.
Tuesday 14th builders arrived to tile and fit a shower in my bathroom, so I didn't get a lie in, but atleast I will be able to have a shower now and they are putting a hand grab rail. I decided to go out most of Tuesday as I had taken water tablets and I wouldn't be able to stop the men working every 10/15 minutes. I slept well Tuesday night which was good as Wednesday I was busy at work. After work I saw Katie for a while as she had come to collect Matthew, then I went to bed for a couple of hours before going to see Jon.
Last night I didn't have a good night at all, my back muscles, were sore and painfull if I lay in one position for too long, my leg muscles were spasming, by 4.00am I had had enough so I got up and struggled to the living room and watched TV for an hour or so, had more tablets, a cuppa and a couple of cigarettes. I was able to get back to bed about 5.30am, but I was in too much pain to sleep, so I just lay there till 7.30am when I had to get up as the workmen were due at 8.30am.
Today is Jon's birthday, he is 25 at exactly 7.07pm and tomorrow is Katies 28th birthday at exactly 6.15am.
Happy birthday both of you, love you both all the world. XX

M.E. and the rest of January

First a  couple of photo's of Cath and me  when we went to the 12th night party.

Cath works with me at The Advice centre and we are also great friends. We went on holiday together last year to Corfu, we had a time.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Me ready for the party, we did have a large Vodka and Coke before we went. Behind me is a stunning picture of a family of elephants that Jon and Sarah bought me for Christmas .                                                                                          
Now back to where I was on my blog.


After our day in Shrewsbury and the excitement of
Birmingham winning 6.0 Sunday I slept.
I went to work on the Monday, half in a daze, when I do normal things like a day out it takes me quite a while to get over them, so I slept my day off too, well most of it apart from getting a drink and taking  tablets, it feels like a giant hangover, body feels like its bruised black and blue...... and that's just because of a day out.

Cath and I decided that once a week we should take it in turns and have a meal together, she is on her own like me, and we don't eat properly. So on a Wednesday that is what we have decided to do and its company for a couple of hours.

On the 19th I went to Tywyn with Bob and had fish and chips by the sea front, the days was a proper winter's sunny day. I took some photo's  I love watching the sea when its windy.

The fish and chips were horrible, but it was lovely to feel the wind and sun on my face. We had a slow walk on the sea front and I complained to bob that my legs were hurting quite badly so we sat in the car for a while.
When Bob took me back to the flat he put some Voltarol Emulgel on my legs helped me into bed, cushions and pillows under my legs, the pain was awful when I tried to stand or walk, it felt like my shin bones were going to break through my skin.I think I have quite a high tolerance of pain, but again tramadol was needed in a high quantity for me to cope! Jon came to see me when he finished work and he was quite shocked at the state I was in. Bob left me drinks and painkillers and the phone right by me on my bedside cabinet. It was an awfully long night, I hardly slept because of the pain and discomfort.
Obviously I didn't go to work on the Friday as I was incapable of even standing. Bob came back and spent the day at my flat, he went to the Advice Centre and borrowed a laptop for me so at least I could do something to ease the boredom of being stuck in bed for the weekend.
He made us a chicken salad and wedges on the afternoon, which was lovely, even when I'm in a lot of pain I still get hungry, more so though I get very thirsty, I think this is from being in pain which makes me sweat from head to toe, so before he left he made sure drinks were within my reach. Brenda my boss came to see me too, she was great and told me not to rush back to work, that's one thing where I am very lucky, my employers understand my illness, so many people who are able to work with M.E. don't have such understanding employers.
Saturday was horrible I didn't see anyone, Bob couldn't get too me as he hadn't got a car and well, people have there own lives to lead. Getting to the loo was a nightmare as I still couldn't walk without being in pain and it seemed to drag, thank god I had the laptop, it kept me from going mad I think!. Sunday Jon and Sarah came and Sarah cooked a lovely roast beef dinner and they kept me company for a few hours. We are all excited as they are moving to a flat in Machynlleth on Feb1st. Monday the pain started to get less, but I was still finding it difficult to stand so again no work. By this time you can imagine what I looked like and smelt like!! Not so good. So it was bath time, which I find difficult anyway. Loads of Epsom salts and lavender scented body wash, it felt like heaven once I'd got in it. I think I soaked for about 30 minutes then the palaver of getting out, I don't even attempt to dry myself anymore as trying to reach hurts so I have jumbo towels that I wrap around me. I do find that Epsom salt help my muscles.
By Monday evening I could stagger around the flat without much of the splint pain. So I took it easy and on Tuesday I managed a slow walk to the Bank and Library in the afternoon, it was slow too because I noticed elderly people overtaking me! I didn't let it upset me though, I was just so pleased with myself managing to do it! I also managed to wash my hair at long last in the kitchen sink.
I went back to work Wednesday, again slowly and I realised I had an hair appointment in the afternoon. I decided to have my hair cut very short, so after work, Cath and I looked at short hairstyles for women over 40. Well I found one, loads of images came up and I found one I liked, it was of Dame Judi Dench, so I printed the photo and took it to my hairdressers and have had it done. I love it, yes its very short but so easy for me to manage and so far people who have seen me say they like it!.
This weekend I have mostly slept, Jon has been bringing stuff to store in my spare room till Wednesday when him and Sarah move to their flat. 
I am so looking forward to February and March, lots of birthdays, my new Grandson will arrive and better weather hopefully.
Now I'm going for a bath.....take care everybody....and to let you know over 2000 page views of this blog, its great to know people are reading it

M.E. and January Blues!

January 2nd I started to feel better after the stomach bug, won't go into detail, but you can guess it wasn't nice.

I went for a walk and took my empty bottles to the bottle bank, their were quite a few, but I had had guests remember!

I felt sad and was missing my husband, I got myself into a state and was up all night and then slept most of Tuesday. When I woke Tuesday afternoon I knew before looking in the mirror I looked awful. So I washed my hair in the sink and ran an epsom salt bath.I enjoyed the soak but not the getting in and out. I will be so glad when the shower is fitted. The bath relaxed me as well as making me smell a bit nicer! I was looking forward to going back to work. I had a sandwich and a cup of tea, chatted to Bobby, played a few turns of scrabble and went to bed about 9pm. 
I woke at 2.30am! I was still awake at 5.00am, my body was hurting from all the turning over so I decided to get up. I watched the news for a while, then gave myself a lovely long facial with the Liz Earl skin treatments I had bought. I like being pampered and this felt quite good even though I was doing it myself!
I had breakfast, got my lunch sorted, ryvita and homous with some cherry tomatoes and was in work for 8.30am. I thought their would be loads of post for me to sort and lots of case work but their wasn't that much to catch up on. I opened a letter and I shook, it was a good job I was sat down or I would have fallen over. I was holding a cheque for £10,000 for funding for my job! I rang my boss and could hardly get the words out, it was so exciting, what made it more special was we thought because we hadn't heard before Christmas we had been refused the funding.

My cleaning lady had been when I got back to the flat, I know when she has been as soon as I open the door, the smell is wonderful and everywhere looks lovely.
Bob arrived about 4.00pm and my friend Cath arrived about 4.30pm we chatted for a while, then bob left about 5.30pn to pick up Jon. Cath and I thought about going out for a meal but decided against it as it was pouring with rain.
It has rained so much here, I think we have had only one day dry since I broke up for Christmas and I hate rain!
My back and legs were causing me great pain so it was extra tramadol and lots of rubbing the tops of my legs too my knees. I was up most of the night because of the pain, the wind was howling and again it was raining. I went to bed about 4.00am
Thursday morning I was up at 6.00am and my legs felt a bit easier but not much so it was more tramadol with breakfast and a couple of cigarettes! I went back to bed at 9.00am and set my alarm as I had to go to a meeting at work at 2.00pm.
After the meeting I came back to the flat and had a wave of loneliness attacked me. I had lived in a house full for years, getting used to their just being me isn't easy.
I was going to go to bed but I stopped myself, I watched some TV, I decided what to wear for Veron's  party.
I had 2 sausages and some salad for my tea and I really enjoyed it. My back started hurting so I took some more tramadol and went to bed. I didn't want to miss the party as I had been looking forward to it.
Friday morning i woke at 2.45am and I was wide awake. I was fed up of watching the news so i went on eBay and found what I had been looking for since before Christmas.... a fake fur black jacket and it was a good price £47 so I treated myself.
After that bit of excitement I went back to bed and slept till my alarm went off at 7.00am. I went to work quite excited, couldn't wait to tell my colleagues what I did in the early hours!. We were busy in work and I didn't get back till 3.30pm. Cath was coming to my flat and we were being picked up at 5.30pm to go to the party.
I sat down with a cup of tea and nearly nodded off! I hadn't even packed my overnight case!
I cannot rush to do anything so just plodded along getting ready slowly, by some sort of miracle I was nearly ready when Cath arrived so we had a very large Vodka and coke before we left!
The party was great had lots of fun chatting and drinking with other people and when we went to bed at 2.15am I was still sober!
I got back to the flat about 1.30pm on Saturday, had a rest for a couple of hours then Bob ,Sarah and Jon came and we had dinner together. After dinner Sarah waxed my legs and eyebrows and gave me a pedicure. I'm not the easiest person to give a pedicure as I'm so ticklish, and the  Peripheral Neuropathy in my feet means they are extremely sensitive to the touch. Bob and Jon thought it was a great laugh as Sarah was nearly getting kicked every time she touched my feet. They all went about 10.00pm and I was so tired I went to bed not long afterwards.
My body was exhausted but not my brain! I hardly slept at all, I cried because I couldn't get to sleep, I felt mentally and physically shattered. I don't understand why I go through this, I take sleeping tablets and tramadol amongst others and I go days without sleeping, but then I crash. I crashed Sunday morning about 10.00am, the next time I woke it was 8.30pm. I was like a zombie when I woke I had the sweats and shakes, blood sugar drops, so it was orange juice first till I felt okay and not going to pass out. It took me about an hour to sort myself out, wash, clean night wear  and some food, by then I was tired all over again so I got in bed but on the other side, I hadn't the energy to strip and make my bed.
Monday morning I was up at 2.30am for about 30 minutes I needed tramadol as the pain in my legs had woken me. I did get back to sleep and managed to go to work somehow, but was in agony when I got back to the flat at 3.00pm. Bob was their, I had some tramadol and baclofen, I managed to get into bed and he rubbed my legs, my muscles were so painful but the tablets worked and I slept till about 8.00pm got up for a drink and more tablets and cigarette then went back to bed. Tuesday is a day off from work which was a good job as I didn't wake till 9.30am, I was back in bed by 11.30am till 4.00pm and when I woke I could hardly move my arms, all the muscles had spasmed and were hurting like hell, I found the muscle gel and gently rubbed it into my arms, it was really difficult to do as my fingers had gone still and the muscles were very tender when I touched them.
Jon and Sarah came about 8.30pm they had been to look at a flat in Machynlleth and they loved it . They stayed about an hour I put some more gel on my arms and got into bed.
I woke about 2.30am Wednesday morning I was so thirsty that i drank a can of coke straight down and then had a cup of tea and a couple of cigarette's. My arms were feeling slightly better so before I went back to bed I put on more gel. 
When I woke with the alarm I moved my arms slowly and they felt a lot better, that gel must have worked! As I left the flat for work, it was frosty, a proper winter's morning, no rain! It turned into a lovely cold but a sunny blue sky day, the first one! Yes it was cold but it was lovely. Work was quite slow and after work I went to Cath's and we had dinner together and chatted for a couple of hours, we had a good evening. I rang Bob when I got in and we arranged to go to Aberystwyth shopping the next day.
We had a good day it was again a lovely sunny winter's day, I had brought a load of leeks and potatoes to make a soup so Bob chopped them all up for me. Then I made the soup and put lots in containers in the freezer for me and Bob.
Jon and Sarah messaged me about going to Shrewsbury on Saturday and asked to stay Friday night. I like Shrewsbury so I said i would go if I was okay.
So before I went to bed on Thursday night I half made the spare bed.Then I went to bed feeling fed up because I was shattered just because I had been to Aberystwyth and blended some soup!
Thursday night I slept for about an hour if that, I had got myself so angry with myself it kept me awake!. Bob arrived at my flat as I was leaving for work, he wanted to use the computer. When I came back from work my back was hurting, the muscles were in spasm, Bob tried to rub at the muscles but he couldn't move them, so it was more baclofen and tramadol.
Jon and Sarah came, we had dinner and  Sarah and I drank a bottle of wine!. I slept the whole night through without getting up!
I realised that I would be going to Cemmaes as Bob was coming to shrewsbury with us. I felt sick when I saw the house, I asked Jon if he would just go and get Bob as I didn't want to go inside. It was very emotional for me when I saw the house as I had not been their at all since I left.
Anyway off to Shrewsbury we went, Jon and Sarah so excited about buying things for their flat, it was lovely watching them, but very tiring, we were their for about 6 hours in all and by the end I was shattered and so was Bob. Sarah was having texts from her dad to say Blues were wining 0 4 against Millwall at Millwall, we couldn't believe it, then it was 5 then it was 6! Blues (Birmingham City) had won away from home six nil !! We were tired but very happy, we love football and we love the blues.

Christmas and M.E.

 Christmas Eve, I woke quite late. Sarah and Jon had left by the time I got up. Bob had been and left a card and a present. I read the card and the words made me cry, " To My Wonderful Wife" when I bought his card I cried when I read the words and also when I wrote on it " love you always". In his way he does love me I know,  but its not how I want to be loved and I feel that I will always love him, I cannot imagine wanting anyone else.
As you can imagine it was at least 2 cups of tea and a couple of cigarette's before I was capable of anything. I went to the supermarket over the road from my flat on got the veg shopping, wasn't alot really, a couple of carrots,a parsnip, a small swede, 8 sprouts, small piece of broccoli, a small savoy cabbage and a few potatoes.
In the afternoon my boss/friend, Brenda and her daughter, Zoe popped in to see me they gave me a gorgeous cyclamen its flowers are almost purple. We chatted and had a glass of wine, it was a nice hour or so.
It was the first Christmas Eve I had ever spent on my own, to be honest it was horrible, all I thought about was previous Christmas Eves, when the kids were small and how the used to leave gifts for Santa and the reindeer's and couldn't wait to go to bed. As they got older some of them went out with friends or they came out for a meal with us, usually to the Indian restaurant.
I couldn't cope with thinking anymore so I took my night time tablets with a Baileys and went to bed at 10.00pm. I slept till 4.30am then woke needing painkillers for my muscles, it felt like all of them had decided to hurt, it was about 6.00am before I was able to go back to bed.
Christmas morning their was no smell of a turkey cooking, Bob had decided he wanted just chicken breast roast dinner. So I got up about 10.00am put the radio on had a cup of tea and a couple of cigarette's. After I washed and dressed I started the vegetables, only have to stop for a while because my fingers and hands hurt so much, eventually they got done and I marinated the chicken breasts in slices of lemon and herbs.
I had a glass of Port instead of tea, after all it was Christmas, it was quite nice!
Jon and Bob arrived about 1.00pm, Jon had opened his presents with Sarah and he was very pleased with what we had brought for him. I nervously gave Bob his present from me, it was a beautiful brown leather coat, I had got it when I was with Katie in Carmarthen, Katie thought it was lovely too, so I had took the gamble and brought it. The gamble paid off, Bob really liked it. Bob's gift to me was a Bronze statue of a family of elephants, its really beautiful and I loved it. Jon's gift to me came in a huge long box and I hadn't got a clue what it was. It is a beautiful canvas picture of a family of elephants with an amazing colourful sunset. You may have gathered I love elephants! I have many elephant ornaments all made of different materials, an elephant cushion , I always have an elephant calender too.
Bob had to take Jon back to Tywyn in Jon's car, so then Bob could use Jon's car for a couple of days as Jon didn't need it.
Bob came back about 2.30pm and he helped me do dinner, I had done an extra chicken breast for Storm, my dog in Cemmaes, he loves roast dinners. We ate about 3.30pm, then had our Christmas pudding about 2 hours later. We watched a couple of films and then Bob left about 10.30pm.
I was awake till about 3.30am, then slept till about 9.00am. I was looking forward to going out Boxing night with Cath and her daughters and some of their friends, so I didn't do much boxing day, the weather was awful so I didn't even go out for a walk. Cath texted me in the afternoon to say that some of the girls weren't going so she wasn't going out. 
Bob popped in for about half an hour on his way to take the car back to Jon. Then Jon came for a couple of hours when he had took Bob back to Cemmaes, we had a good chat, watched TV for a while. After he went I pottered about the flat tidying ready for Katie and Ross who were coming the next day.
I went to bed at 7.30pm I woke about 3.00am had some tramadol with a cup of tea and a couple of cigarettes, it was about an hour later when I went back to bed but couldn't sleep.
I was having a buffet in the flat, Bob had decided he didn't want it at Cemmaes so their would be 6 of us in my small living room. Katie and Ross were staying at my flat for the night. I got up at 8.00am aching from head to toe, the first thing I did was take my tablets and painkillers, then a cup of tea and a couple of cigarette's. The flat was quite tidy, I had to change my bed as Katie and Ross were going to be sleeping in it. I find it quite hard to strip and make up a bed so i did this first before getting washed and dressed.
A ham had been cooked the day before, I had got some of the platters from Iceland, the Indian one and the chicken one so they could be cooked in the afternoon. By the time it was all laid out in my little kitchen it did look nice, loads of pickles and dips too and the puddings looked like chocolate heaven.
Jon and Bob arrived first about 12.30pm and Katie and Ross about 1.00pm. My gift from Katie and Ross was a new handbag and purse which I had looked at when I was with Katie in Carmarthen. My daughter is very good at remembering what people like and look at when shopping.
Soon all of us were eating, resting then eating again, then having pudding, some tried both puddings lol. We were all stuffed so we decided to have a walk, only the walk ended quite quickly and we went to a pub! Ross ordered doubles of rum and coke for me and him, it went down quite nicely and then we had another one! We went back to the flat then as Jon had to leave and pick Sarah up from work. Bob left then as Jon was taking him home too. Ross  and me carried on drinking the rum and coke! Its weird, I can drink rum and coke all day and night and it doesn't affect me at all, yet if I have a couple of glasses of wine I feel quite tipsy.
I had a real good sleep that night, didn't wake up at all!
On Wednesday we had another buffet and Richard (my eldest son, who is in the army) came with his partner and her son, the only member of our family missing was my youngest son Bobby. Katie and Ross decided to stay another night, it must be 3 years since Katie had seen Richard, so it was nice for them to catch up with each other. We had a good day and Jon went and picked Sarah up from work and they came back for an hour,so their was 9 of us in my little living room, but we managed and partners of my children met each other, some for the first time. By 9.30pm their was just me, Katie and Ross, Jon and Sarah had gone home and Richard had gone back to Cemmaes with Bob. Ross and I decided we would have some more food and a rum and coke! In fact a couple of rum and cokes!.
Another good sleep followed. 
Thursday afternoon Katie and Ross left and then I went back to bed. I loved seeing them all and chatting, laughing etc but I was shattered, so tired that I slept till about 10.00pm, then was up most of the night wide awake.
Friday, day time I didn't do much at all, my body ached and my stomach didn't feel too good. Richard and his family and bob came over for dinner, it was nice to get to know his partner and her son, we spent a couple of hours together and Richard rang a local restaurant to book a table for the next evening which was New years Eve.
After they went I started to feel more unwell and was up all night with a stomach bug, I couldn't even keep water inside me! My stomach muscles felt so sore and I felt quite weak. I managed to text bobby " Happy birthday" he rang to say he was unwell too, he had been so looking forward to celebrating his birthday in Scotland, it was such a shame for him.
New Years Eve morning I rang Bob to say I wouldn't be coming for the meal, their was no way i could go and anyway I didn't want to give the bug to anyone. So my New Years Eve was spent in the bathroom and in bed.
New Years day was much the same, Richard left to go back to Cambridge. Richard had brought me perfume, Lady Millions, which is lovely and a Calender with photo's of elephants, so the one thing I did was to put all the birthdays and events that I know onto the 2012 calender.
Last year was the saddest and hardest of my life, I do hope 2012 will be a better year, i know we will have a new Grandson, Charlie in March, and Jon and Sarah's wedding in September as for anything else, we shall just have to wait and see!
Happy New Year. XX


 

M.E and the week leading to Christmas

The weekend before Christmas I slept and slept almost like a hibernation for a weekend, but I did feel better for it by Monday. Tuesday Bob and I went to Telford to finish the Christmas shopping, we had a lovely day, bought loads of goodies, had a nice lunch, talked about everything except us. Telford is good for me to go to the shopping centre is indoors and flat and there is a Debenhams! Bob has decided to come to my flat for Christmas dinner, so at least we will be together for some of Christmas day. I didn't sleep at all Tuesday night, mind worked overtime thinking about me and Bob and Christmas. Wednesday came and I knew something was wrong with me, my stomach just didn't feel right! By the time I got to work I felt worse, I just kept feeling sick. I know nobody likes being sick but I hate it, I'm a complete baby, I feel like I'm going to choke, and I can't breath so I panic when it happens. By 1.30pm my colleagues felt I should go home, I think I looked quite grey and maybe a shade of green too! I just made it to the flat and it started and didn't really finish till about 2 am. I didn't sleep at all and at 6.30am I looked on the computer for the first bus to Aberystwyth, it was 7.30am, I wasn't feeling sick any more so I got ready and caught the bus. At 8.15am I was in lidl's doing my veg shopping and it was great, really quiet, by the time I was coming out though the crowds had started, I treated myself to a cooked breakfast then went to Iceland store and bought more goodies. That's what I do when I'm depressed buy food! I have enough food till Easter! By the time i got back to my flat I was tired, so the rest of Thursday I slept. I woke early on Friday felt very stiff as I had slept over 12 hours and I was still in the same position when I woke that I had been when I got into bed. It took me a while to get up and get breakfast, Cath popped in on me and we exchanged gifts and chatted for a while. After she went I decided I needed a bath, so that took a while, getting in and out is so painful, but I do enjoy the soak especially if i put in epsom salts. 
The Friday before Christmas is known as mad Friday and people go to the pubs to celebrate. Jon and Sarah had asked me to go, and I was looking forward to it. I got ready and met him at 3pm, he was with most of the mechanics from the town and his boss. We had a good time, Sarah met us at about 7pm, Jon was under the influence of alcohol by then! I was sober, I had been drinking rum and coke, but it is a drink that doesn't really affect me so I was okay. By 8pm I was tired so Sarah walked with me to the flat. By 8.30pm I was in bed!. Jon and sarah came in about 12.30am, I had woken a bit earlier, Jon was now sober!. We chatted had a cigarette and a cup of tea then went to bed.
Took me a while to get to sleep, I could hear the rain lashing down and then my brain started thinking!

M.E.still sleeping, working and a weekend with Katie

Bob brought Bobby to my flat on Monday evening and I was told all about the concert, Bobby was on a "high" and excited, but not looking forward to his journey back to Scotland. We all had dinner together before he left. He caught the 8pm train from Machynlleth to Birmingham. About 8.30pm my phoned rang and it showed it was "Bobby" calling, well all I could understand was their was an emergency and he was upset and angry and I was tired, I had planned an early night.
Bobby had got his bus ticket out, which was from Birmingham to Aberdeen and looked at it and noticed he had made a mistake, the bus ticket was only valid for the previous night, he should have stayed in Birmingham after the concert and boarded the bus at 2.30am. Of course the ticket office was now closed, their was nothing anyone could do. Bobby was panicking and angry, wondering how he was going to get back. It was a freezing cold night. He stayed in the train station in Birmingham for a while, but he didn't feel safe their. So he went to the bus station he usually caught his bus from, the bus company he had gone with this time had just dropped him a bus stop and had told him this was where he should be for catching the bus back. So at about 1.45am he leaves the bus stop for the 30minute walk to the bus stop. He thought he could still catch this bus if he explained what had happened and he would pay for a new ticket. When he got to the bus stop another man was their and it turned out that he should have gone back the previous night also. Eventually the bus came, they were not allowed to get on, so another frantic phone, by this time I was frantic too worrying about him wandering around in the middle of the night in Birmingham. So I told him to go back to the bus station, at least he would be warm and he could sort out another bus to get back. He got a bus about6.30am to Manchester then had to wait a couple of hours then he got a bus to Aberdeen. He arrived at 10.30pm! A,very long journey back not one that I could have done.
The rest of the week passed as I slept and worked, then it got to Friday and I left work midday caught the bus to Aberystwyth, had a coffee and 2 cigarettes before getting the bus to Carmarthen.As usual I fell asleep. I always do when travelling lol. The bus arrived at 4.40pm Katie would be picking me up at 6.00pm so I went and had a look at the big shops that I don't get to see very often. I breathed in slowly when I entered my favourite shop....Debenhams.. I love the smell of all the perfumes... its my kind of shop! I had been buying things on line so I had £15 on my beauty card to spend so I headed straight to the perfumery counters...found one I liked straight away.. Lady Millions and their was 15% off so I had a bottle of lovely perfume for £13 my present to me for Christmas and what a bargain. I needed a coffee and a sit down after that excitement and I didn't want to spoil it for me and Katie as we were coming back to the shops tomorrow afternoon. It was nearly 6pm so went to meet my daughter. He bump was the first thing I saw, Charlie has been doing a lot of growing inside his mum tummy. We soon arrived at hers and Ross's new house. Its lovely and big with a gorgeous kitchen, large lounge with a conservatory. Then I saw the new sofa's, oh they are so comfortable and snug and then the huge marble table, what a statement piece it is... wow is all I could say. Ross came home from work got changed and he decided he was going to cook us a lovely dinner which he did and we were all stuffed afterwards. I sat on the sofa, its one of these corner ones and could have stayed their all night. We chatted for a while, then bed for all of us. Ross went to London in the morning. Me and Katie just pottered for a while then she put her tree up to surprise Matthew when he comes home from his Dads tomorrow. About 3,30pm me and Katie decided to go shopping our first shop... Debenhams I found two aftershave I liked for Bob but couldn't make my mind up. So will take him to Telford.We went other shops, Katie fell in love with these tartan boot slippers so I brought them for her to go with her other Christmas present which is perfume Poison Midnight, Katie found some presents she wanted for Ross so it was a good afternoon shopping, But she had to have them when she got home cos she hadn't got any slippers. I wrapped Ross his presents while Katie started doing dinner.Then she started thinking about his birthday in July, it took us till nearly 3am to finally do everything on the net. She was really pleased with what she did.
Well I didn't wake till midday, but I felt happy because I had bought Bob a lovely present too and Katie thought he would like it.
At 4pm Katie went to collect Matthew and said she would be back at 6pm , I thought I would have a rest as I had a 2 hour 30min journey to do myself later, so I rested on the lovely sofa. 
Soon it was nearly 6pm and Katie and Matthew were back, think he was shocked to see me their, we had big hugs but he was most insistent that when I went again it had to be a weekend when he was their!
I caught my bus back to Aber, and sat thinking about my lovely weekend, in March Charlie will arrive and I will have two Grandsons, Jon and Sarah were waiting for me in Aber to take me back to my flat, they were staying the night. It was midnight when we went to bed cos of chatting lol, mainly about the wedding in September, we are all so excited about it now, so how we will all be by then I don't know.
Monday I dragged myself out of bed and woke Jon and Sarah as they had work too. I felt tired, not ready for work at all, but I had to go in so I had to get a move on, Thankfully work was quite quiet for a change. Bob came to the flat later as he had borrowed Jon's car, all of us felt like any early night.
Early night we got in a way, then a family prob happened and we were then up most of the night. It was 10am before I got to bed. So Tuesday till about 10pm did not exist for me, nor I think for Bob.Wednesday and Thursday I was like a Zombie, worked Wednesday high on tramadol, so glad we were not too busy. Thursday I didn't see much of it at all. By Friday morning I needed to wash my hair, to most people this is easy, they just stand in shower and shampoo hair. Well my arms felt like lead weights, I have to wash my hair over the sink with a jug! cos I haven't got a shower. I managed, it wasn't the best but it had to do. At least it would look better for work and I would feel better myself. Friday was slow in work too, it usually quietens down just before Christmas, so 2.30pm we closed and I went to pay bills then back to the flat , had a chat with Bob and Jon then cooked a salmon in a bag dinner from Iceland, which actually was quite nice.

One or two good bits then not so good for M.E

Monday 21st November I just about made it into work, the weekend had passed to quickly I felt I hadn't recharged my batteries even though I had mostly slept. Work was busy and I felt exhausted afterwards and went to bed for a few hours. When I woke I felt hungry, which is unusual for me on a work day because I have lunch I don't feel hungry in the evening, sometimes I may have the odd chunky kitkat! So I had pate and crackers tomatoes ands red and yellow peppers washed down with a glass of red wine.
Then went to bed.
Tuesday I spent a lovely day with Bob in Aberystwyth and had another custard slice in the Penguin cafe, when we got back to my flat we had some of the soup we had made earlier in the month. I was tired when he left and I knew we had another busy day at work with another Charity stall on the market, so I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night had the dreaded sweats, so when I got up at 7.am I looked worse than I did when i went too bed.
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, just because I needed to hurry! I met Brenda at work at 8.30am and we got everything together for the stall. We had a raffle the same as the week before, some of the local businesses had been very kind and donated prizes. The previous week we raised £167 so I was hoping to raise more.
It was quite a cold day, so I'm told! Me with my temperature problems didn't feel cold at all, I was boiling as  always. It was a good day, lots of people stopping by the stall and we raised £200, so we were delighted.
I did feel very stiff and sore by the 2.30 so we decided to stop and pack up then draw the raffle.
I had to go and pay some bills before I went back to my flat, once I got back I didn't even have a drink I just lay down on my bed. I woke at 4.30am still clothed and in agony from head to toe.
I got undressed, made myself a drink and had a cigarette and took some painkillers.
Thursday passed as a blur I vaguely remember having a cuppa with Bob, but as for the rest of the day I was oblivious.
Friday no way could I go to work, I just about managed to text a colleague that I wouldn't be in. I texted Bob to tell him I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even get out of bed. I had been looking forward to going to a friends for the night, we play scrabble, drink wine and have a laugh, but I had to cancel on that too.
Bob came gave me my tablets and made me a drink, I didn't have the energy to eat any food. I just slept and slept. Saturday was much the same, only waking for a drink and tablets.I was in agony with my back and legs, had been since Wednesday. Cath got the key to my flat from work and came to see me, made me a drink and we chatted for a while and she took the staff lottery syndicate tickets as i wasn't able to go to the shop. After she went I went back to bed and slept till Sunday morning. When I woke Sunday morning I knew I needed a wash badly! When I get as bad as this having a wash is the last thing on my mind! I got into the bathroom and sat on my stool and washed where I could get too, wrapped a towel round me to dry myself and then cleaned my teeth with my electric toothbrush. I did smell better afterwards but having a wash and putting on clean pyjamas wore me out, so back to bed I went. Sunday afternoon I woke and I decided I needed to strip my bed and put fresh bedding on the bed. I did bits of it over two or three hours, this is a job I hate but have to do it more than most because of the sweating.
Monday again I could not go to work, I spent most of the day staring up at the ceiling or sleeping, I was so fed up of being in pain and being in bed, to me it seemed I had been their for ages. My legs were starting to feel a bit better but my back was still causing me a great deal of pain and discomfort, the only time I could get comfortable for a while was when I was lying down, I couldn't sit for more than 6 or 7 minutes without the pain starting,  so no computer, no tv, not that I could really concentrate on anything because of the pain. Tramadol was becoming my best friend again!. Bob came to see how I was doing and I managed to stand while he quickly washed my hair. Its horrible not being able to do the most basic of things, it makes me tearful and sad and frightened for the future.
Tuesday I should have been having my hair done, guess what, Bob had to go and cancel for me. I love having my hair done, I love being pampered full stop! Most of Tuesday was a blur, I actually got up at about 5pm, had a drink with Bob, then Jon came and we chatted for a while. When they both went I had some pate with crackers and a couple of satsumas. For my own sanity I needed to go to work on Wednesday, so I didn't do much that evening just caught up on some of the Emmerdale's that I had missed. Took my night time tablets with painkillers at 9pm and went to bed. I slept till 3.15pm woke because i needed a drink so I had a cigarette too then went back to bed. The alarm woke me at 7am and I started to get ready for work, I was slow to get ready but I managed and I got to work just before 9am, dripping with sweat but happy that I had made it into work. Colleagues commented that I shouldn't have come in and that they could see I was struggling..... yes I was, but I needed to be in work trying to live a normal life as I was starting to get depressed, I could feel it creeping upon me. I'd had some stupid thoughts enter my head and I didn't want to start going down that road. We had such a busy day I was exhausted by the time I got to my flat, no time for a drink or cigarette I just needed to get too bed. I slept till 4.30am Thursday, I woke with the shakes and sweats I hadn't eaten or drank anything since Wednesday lunch time, so it was a can of coke and I finished the pate with some crackers, I felt like I was going to pass out, soon after drinking the coke the feeling passed and I just sat and relaxed for a while. I had planned to go to Aberystwyth with Bob on Thursday but again that was cancelled, I slept most of the day. Bob and Jon came early evening informing me that Bobby was now coming to my flat at 9am Saturday morning, they had been going to get him when he got to Birmingham but now they realised he could get a train to Machynlleth. They were all excited as they were going to see Bryan Adams in concert in Birmingham on the Sunday and also Richard was meeting up with them for a few hours. I went to bed early Friday evening as I felt totally drained of energy. and I knew Bobby would be at my door just gone 9am full of excitement!
I kept waking up all through the night thinking I had heard my doorbell ring. I got up just before 8.30am so as I would be half awake for when Bobby arrived, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes later the doorbell did ring, Bobby had arrived. He had travelled since 7pm the previous night by coach then train and he wasn't even tired. I wish I had half of his energy! We chatted for a while and I stayed up another hour before I had to go back to bed for a couple of hours. Bobby was fine, he was texting his friends and on the computer and watching tv. A couple of hours later I got up again, we chatted for a while then I got ready and we went for a walk round town, Bobby got his haircut, then we went back to the flat. We met Jon later in a pub, we had a drink then they boys went off to Cemmaes to stay with Bob.
It was nice seeing two of my boys together and I wished I could have gone with them to Birmingham then I would of seen the three boys together. 
Sunday I woke feeling like I hadn't slept, I slept most of the day, just getting up for a drink and tablets and the occasional cigarette. I thought of Bob and the boys and I did have a tear or two because one of Bryan Adams songs, Everything I do, I do  for you is a song that means alot to me and Bob.