Months of Hell

I had no energy to do anything for myself, not even to sit up in bed or have much of a conversation, I would forget what I wanted to say or the words would come out wrong, back to front even. I think everyone including me thought I had gone mad! When my brain allowed me too, I did think "what the hell is wrong with me" I did worry that I had got MS. My mother had had MS and I knew by what it had done to her that it wasn't very nice! I had blood tests after blood test a specialist from Aberystwyth hospital actually came to the house and examined me, stuck pins in my legs, actually drew blood and then gave Bob some tablets to give me.

I can't remember what they were, but they made me worse, my tongue felt too big for my mouth and I could hardly talk. After about a month Bob took me to hospital and a nurse who was in charge stated that I had been over prescribed and I had to come off these tablets, but slowly.
 Bob must have been totally worn out, the car body shop was busy, 4 young children to look after and then their was me I couldn't do much for myself at all.I felt completely helpless, I couldn't do anything to help. He was getting up in the night to spray cars and do other jobs. He was basically trying to do everything around the house,run a business, look after the children and me too. 
I don't really remember much of this time, its almost like a blur or a void in time.
Eventually I picked up a bit and could get up out of bed and slowly potter about as I call it.
People would ask me what "whats wrong" or they would ask Bob, but we had no answers. Jonathan came home from school one day very upset, other kids had seen the blackness under my eyes and they had shouted to him that  "his dad hits his mum" . My eyes had changed so much that it did look like I had 2 black eyes, yet with all the sleeping that I was doing my eyes should have looked the opposite.
The children were too young to understand that I was ill, and that we didn't know what was making  me ill or why.
Bob had run the business for 2 years but he couldn't carry on looking after me and the children and run a business. He decided to close the business and we would have to go on welfare benefits. So of course we also had to move house because the house came with the car body shop. The landlord was great he didn't rush us out, he just felt sorry us because the business was doing so well.
I felt awful for Bob, that was his dream down the drain, he didn't moan, he didn't complain, he just carried on looking after me and the children. I think that was one of the worst times of my life and I have always to this day  felt guilty about it.