Monday 21st November I just about made it into work, the weekend had passed to quickly I felt I hadn't recharged my batteries even though I had mostly slept. Work was busy and I felt exhausted afterwards and went to bed for a few hours. When I woke I felt hungry, which is unusual for me on a work day because I have lunch I don't feel hungry in the evening, sometimes I may have the odd chunky kitkat! So I had pate and crackers tomatoes ands red and yellow peppers washed down with a glass of red wine.
Then went to bed.
Tuesday I spent a lovely day with Bob in Aberystwyth and had another custard slice in the Penguin cafe, when we got back to my flat we had some of the soup we had made earlier in the month. I was tired when he left and I knew we had another busy day at work with another Charity stall on the market, so I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night had the dreaded sweats, so when I got up at 7.am I looked worse than I did when i went too bed.
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, just because I needed to hurry! I met Brenda at work at 8.30am and we got everything together for the stall. We had a raffle the same as the week before, some of the local businesses had been very kind and donated prizes. The previous week we raised £167 so I was hoping to raise more.
It was quite a cold day, so I'm told! Me with my temperature problems didn't feel cold at all, I was boiling as always. It was a good day, lots of people stopping by the stall and we raised £200, so we were delighted.
I did feel very stiff and sore by the 2.30 so we decided to stop and pack up then draw the raffle.
I had to go and pay some bills before I went back to my flat, once I got back I didn't even have a drink I just lay down on my bed. I woke at 4.30am still clothed and in agony from head to toe.
I got undressed, made myself a drink and had a cigarette and took some painkillers.
Thursday passed as a blur I vaguely remember having a cuppa with Bob, but as for the rest of the day I was oblivious.
Friday no way could I go to work, I just about managed to text a colleague that I wouldn't be in. I texted Bob to tell him I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even get out of bed. I had been looking forward to going to a friends for the night, we play scrabble, drink wine and have a laugh, but I had to cancel on that too.
Bob came gave me my tablets and made me a drink, I didn't have the energy to eat any food. I just slept and slept. Saturday was much the same, only waking for a drink and tablets.I was in agony with my back and legs, had been since Wednesday. Cath got the key to my flat from work and came to see me, made me a drink and we chatted for a while and she took the staff lottery syndicate tickets as i wasn't able to go to the shop. After she went I went back to bed and slept till Sunday morning. When I woke Sunday morning I knew I needed a wash badly! When I get as bad as this having a wash is the last thing on my mind! I got into the bathroom and sat on my stool and washed where I could get too, wrapped a towel round me to dry myself and then cleaned my teeth with my electric toothbrush. I did smell better afterwards but having a wash and putting on clean pyjamas wore me out, so back to bed I went. Sunday afternoon I woke and I decided I needed to strip my bed and put fresh bedding on the bed. I did bits of it over two or three hours, this is a job I hate but have to do it more than most because of the sweating.
Monday again I could not go to work, I spent most of the day staring up at the ceiling or sleeping, I was so fed up of being in pain and being in bed, to me it seemed I had been their for ages. My legs were starting to feel a bit better but my back was still causing me a great deal of pain and discomfort, the only time I could get comfortable for a while was when I was lying down, I couldn't sit for more than 6 or 7 minutes without the pain starting, so no computer, no tv, not that I could really concentrate on anything because of the pain. Tramadol was becoming my best friend again!. Bob came to see how I was doing and I managed to stand while he quickly washed my hair. Its horrible not being able to do the most basic of things, it makes me tearful and sad and frightened for the future.
Tuesday I should have been having my hair done, guess what, Bob had to go and cancel for me. I love having my hair done, I love being pampered full stop! Most of Tuesday was a blur, I actually got up at about 5pm, had a drink with Bob, then Jon came and we chatted for a while. When they both went I had some pate with crackers and a couple of satsumas. For my own sanity I needed to go to work on Wednesday, so I didn't do much that evening just caught up on some of the Emmerdale's that I had missed. Took my night time tablets with painkillers at 9pm and went to bed. I slept till 3.15pm woke because i needed a drink so I had a cigarette too then went back to bed. The alarm woke me at 7am and I started to get ready for work, I was slow to get ready but I managed and I got to work just before 9am, dripping with sweat but happy that I had made it into work. Colleagues commented that I shouldn't have come in and that they could see I was struggling..... yes I was, but I needed to be in work trying to live a normal life as I was starting to get depressed, I could feel it creeping upon me. I'd had some stupid thoughts enter my head and I didn't want to start going down that road. We had such a busy day I was exhausted by the time I got to my flat, no time for a drink or cigarette I just needed to get too bed. I slept till 4.30am Thursday, I woke with the shakes and sweats I hadn't eaten or drank anything since Wednesday lunch time, so it was a can of coke and I finished the pate with some crackers, I felt like I was going to pass out, soon after drinking the coke the feeling passed and I just sat and relaxed for a while. I had planned to go to Aberystwyth with Bob on Thursday but again that was cancelled, I slept most of the day. Bob and Jon came early evening informing me that Bobby was now coming to my flat at 9am Saturday morning, they had been going to get him when he got to Birmingham but now they realised he could get a train to Machynlleth. They were all excited as they were going to see Bryan Adams in concert in Birmingham on the Sunday and also Richard was meeting up with them for a few hours. I went to bed early Friday evening as I felt totally drained of energy. and I knew Bobby would be at my door just gone 9am full of excitement!
I kept waking up all through the night thinking I had heard my doorbell ring. I got up just before 8.30am so as I would be half awake for when Bobby arrived, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes later the doorbell did ring, Bobby had arrived. He had travelled since 7pm the previous night by coach then train and he wasn't even tired. I wish I had half of his energy! We chatted for a while and I stayed up another hour before I had to go back to bed for a couple of hours. Bobby was fine, he was texting his friends and on the computer and watching tv. A couple of hours later I got up again, we chatted for a while then I got ready and we went for a walk round town, Bobby got his haircut, then we went back to the flat. We met Jon later in a pub, we had a drink then they boys went off to Cemmaes to stay with Bob.
It was nice seeing two of my boys together and I wished I could have gone with them to Birmingham then I would of seen the three boys together.
Sunday I woke feeling like I hadn't slept, I slept most of the day, just getting up for a drink and tablets and the occasional cigarette. I thought of Bob and the boys and I did have a tear or two because one of Bryan Adams songs, Everything I do, I do for you is a song that means alot to me and Bob.
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