M.E. and January Blues!

January 2nd I started to feel better after the stomach bug, won't go into detail, but you can guess it wasn't nice.

I went for a walk and took my empty bottles to the bottle bank, their were quite a few, but I had had guests remember!

I felt sad and was missing my husband, I got myself into a state and was up all night and then slept most of Tuesday. When I woke Tuesday afternoon I knew before looking in the mirror I looked awful. So I washed my hair in the sink and ran an epsom salt bath.I enjoyed the soak but not the getting in and out. I will be so glad when the shower is fitted. The bath relaxed me as well as making me smell a bit nicer! I was looking forward to going back to work. I had a sandwich and a cup of tea, chatted to Bobby, played a few turns of scrabble and went to bed about 9pm. 
I woke at 2.30am! I was still awake at 5.00am, my body was hurting from all the turning over so I decided to get up. I watched the news for a while, then gave myself a lovely long facial with the Liz Earl skin treatments I had bought. I like being pampered and this felt quite good even though I was doing it myself!
I had breakfast, got my lunch sorted, ryvita and homous with some cherry tomatoes and was in work for 8.30am. I thought their would be loads of post for me to sort and lots of case work but their wasn't that much to catch up on. I opened a letter and I shook, it was a good job I was sat down or I would have fallen over. I was holding a cheque for £10,000 for funding for my job! I rang my boss and could hardly get the words out, it was so exciting, what made it more special was we thought because we hadn't heard before Christmas we had been refused the funding.

My cleaning lady had been when I got back to the flat, I know when she has been as soon as I open the door, the smell is wonderful and everywhere looks lovely.
Bob arrived about 4.00pm and my friend Cath arrived about 4.30pm we chatted for a while, then bob left about 5.30pn to pick up Jon. Cath and I thought about going out for a meal but decided against it as it was pouring with rain.
It has rained so much here, I think we have had only one day dry since I broke up for Christmas and I hate rain!
My back and legs were causing me great pain so it was extra tramadol and lots of rubbing the tops of my legs too my knees. I was up most of the night because of the pain, the wind was howling and again it was raining. I went to bed about 4.00am
Thursday morning I was up at 6.00am and my legs felt a bit easier but not much so it was more tramadol with breakfast and a couple of cigarettes! I went back to bed at 9.00am and set my alarm as I had to go to a meeting at work at 2.00pm.
After the meeting I came back to the flat and had a wave of loneliness attacked me. I had lived in a house full for years, getting used to their just being me isn't easy.
I was going to go to bed but I stopped myself, I watched some TV, I decided what to wear for Veron's  party.
I had 2 sausages and some salad for my tea and I really enjoyed it. My back started hurting so I took some more tramadol and went to bed. I didn't want to miss the party as I had been looking forward to it.
Friday morning i woke at 2.45am and I was wide awake. I was fed up of watching the news so i went on eBay and found what I had been looking for since before Christmas.... a fake fur black jacket and it was a good price £47 so I treated myself.
After that bit of excitement I went back to bed and slept till my alarm went off at 7.00am. I went to work quite excited, couldn't wait to tell my colleagues what I did in the early hours!. We were busy in work and I didn't get back till 3.30pm. Cath was coming to my flat and we were being picked up at 5.30pm to go to the party.
I sat down with a cup of tea and nearly nodded off! I hadn't even packed my overnight case!
I cannot rush to do anything so just plodded along getting ready slowly, by some sort of miracle I was nearly ready when Cath arrived so we had a very large Vodka and coke before we left!
The party was great had lots of fun chatting and drinking with other people and when we went to bed at 2.15am I was still sober!
I got back to the flat about 1.30pm on Saturday, had a rest for a couple of hours then Bob ,Sarah and Jon came and we had dinner together. After dinner Sarah waxed my legs and eyebrows and gave me a pedicure. I'm not the easiest person to give a pedicure as I'm so ticklish, and the  Peripheral Neuropathy in my feet means they are extremely sensitive to the touch. Bob and Jon thought it was a great laugh as Sarah was nearly getting kicked every time she touched my feet. They all went about 10.00pm and I was so tired I went to bed not long afterwards.
My body was exhausted but not my brain! I hardly slept at all, I cried because I couldn't get to sleep, I felt mentally and physically shattered. I don't understand why I go through this, I take sleeping tablets and tramadol amongst others and I go days without sleeping, but then I crash. I crashed Sunday morning about 10.00am, the next time I woke it was 8.30pm. I was like a zombie when I woke I had the sweats and shakes, blood sugar drops, so it was orange juice first till I felt okay and not going to pass out. It took me about an hour to sort myself out, wash, clean night wear  and some food, by then I was tired all over again so I got in bed but on the other side, I hadn't the energy to strip and make my bed.
Monday morning I was up at 2.30am for about 30 minutes I needed tramadol as the pain in my legs had woken me. I did get back to sleep and managed to go to work somehow, but was in agony when I got back to the flat at 3.00pm. Bob was their, I had some tramadol and baclofen, I managed to get into bed and he rubbed my legs, my muscles were so painful but the tablets worked and I slept till about 8.00pm got up for a drink and more tablets and cigarette then went back to bed. Tuesday is a day off from work which was a good job as I didn't wake till 9.30am, I was back in bed by 11.30am till 4.00pm and when I woke I could hardly move my arms, all the muscles had spasmed and were hurting like hell, I found the muscle gel and gently rubbed it into my arms, it was really difficult to do as my fingers had gone still and the muscles were very tender when I touched them.
Jon and Sarah came about 8.30pm they had been to look at a flat in Machynlleth and they loved it . They stayed about an hour I put some more gel on my arms and got into bed.
I woke about 2.30am Wednesday morning I was so thirsty that i drank a can of coke straight down and then had a cup of tea and a couple of cigarette's. My arms were feeling slightly better so before I went back to bed I put on more gel. 
When I woke with the alarm I moved my arms slowly and they felt a lot better, that gel must have worked! As I left the flat for work, it was frosty, a proper winter's morning, no rain! It turned into a lovely cold but a sunny blue sky day, the first one! Yes it was cold but it was lovely. Work was quite slow and after work I went to Cath's and we had dinner together and chatted for a couple of hours, we had a good evening. I rang Bob when I got in and we arranged to go to Aberystwyth shopping the next day.
We had a good day it was again a lovely sunny winter's day, I had brought a load of leeks and potatoes to make a soup so Bob chopped them all up for me. Then I made the soup and put lots in containers in the freezer for me and Bob.
Jon and Sarah messaged me about going to Shrewsbury on Saturday and asked to stay Friday night. I like Shrewsbury so I said i would go if I was okay.
So before I went to bed on Thursday night I half made the spare bed.Then I went to bed feeling fed up because I was shattered just because I had been to Aberystwyth and blended some soup!
Thursday night I slept for about an hour if that, I had got myself so angry with myself it kept me awake!. Bob arrived at my flat as I was leaving for work, he wanted to use the computer. When I came back from work my back was hurting, the muscles were in spasm, Bob tried to rub at the muscles but he couldn't move them, so it was more baclofen and tramadol.
Jon and Sarah came, we had dinner and  Sarah and I drank a bottle of wine!. I slept the whole night through without getting up!
I realised that I would be going to Cemmaes as Bob was coming to shrewsbury with us. I felt sick when I saw the house, I asked Jon if he would just go and get Bob as I didn't want to go inside. It was very emotional for me when I saw the house as I had not been their at all since I left.
Anyway off to Shrewsbury we went, Jon and Sarah so excited about buying things for their flat, it was lovely watching them, but very tiring, we were their for about 6 hours in all and by the end I was shattered and so was Bob. Sarah was having texts from her dad to say Blues were wining 0 4 against Millwall at Millwall, we couldn't believe it, then it was 5 then it was 6! Blues (Birmingham City) had won away from home six nil !! We were tired but very happy, we love football and we love the blues.