4.00am and I'm up again, my body is exhausted, I'm desperate I need to sleep, I imagine this is how an addict feels when they can't get their next fix of heron or their next bottle of whisky, I've got the sweats, the shakes and their desperation!
Two or three cigarette's later, back to bed I go, not for long though, my muscles feel like they are bruised black and blue, lying down is too much so sore, yet when I sit, my bum cheeks burn and sting with the pressure of my body. No matter what I do I'm in pain.....pain! The Disability living Allowance people say "pain killers, kill pain" so we have to use the words "severe discomfort" on these stupid forms that we have to fill out, but whatever words we use, pain or discomfort, it never goes away.
Their are times when I cope better but when I'm so tired the pain just seems to be worse.
After a cuppa and some tablets I finally sleep at about 10.30am, it was a long sleep but a weird one! I can hear myself talking to Bob and the kids and I keep thinking why aren't they talking back to me, why are they ignoring me, i go looking in every room of the house and I can't find them, finally I am shouting their names, which is what wakes me, I'm dripping with sweat and got the shakes, of course they can't hear me, I'm here in the flat, on my own.
Once I come round properly, I realise its nearly 6.00pm, and I feel a bit hungry, ham off the bone, a tomato, and Stilton cheese with a couple of crackers. Afterwards I washed my hair and then soaked my feet while I watched who the judges got rid off in X- Factor. My favourite 3 are Misha, Craig and Janet, I even played a bit of scrabble on facebook and posted in a couple of the M.E groups I belong too.
So after an awful beginning to Sunday the ending was quite good.
I went to sleep about 10.30 and got up at 7.00am for work
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