Not even a cup of tea and a ciggarette, first its to the bathroom, hair wash and body wash! Still got all the aches and sniffles of yesterday but I need to go to work for my own sanity! Another day on my own feeling ill will not do me good mentally!
I have a big debt case to work on from the home visit I did Tuesday, which I started, then decided I would put the coffee on for the others so it would be ready when they got in. A man I know came for a chat, his wife has cancer and he is not coping well at all, she is a lovely woman has done loads for the community, it makes me mad, just lately we have lost a few really good people to this awful disease, so I found it quite hard to be positive for him. Then I realised the milk was "off" so I had to go back out in the rain and wind to get more. Do a bit more on the debt case and the computer "looses my work" So had to start again, then the programme wouldn't bloody work, so I had to phone the "helpdesk" " just log out and log in again" they said. Yes it worked but why did the stupid programme do it in the first place, I can't keep logging in and logging out all day.
Next I wanted to print some letters, the photocopier decides its going to add to my problems, paper jams all over the place in nearly every compartment, it was starting to feel like I should of stayed home in bed! By this time I was not in the best of moods, I felt like I was going to scream or cry.....then something else happened and I did cry.....I'd had enough, I felt like quitting my job, packing a case and just going, going where I haven't a clue, but that's how I felt. So I cried and had tempers at myself for about an hour, then it was time to go.
I got back to my flat and was about to pour myself a very large port and lemoade but thought better of it and made a cuppa instead and smoked two cigarettes! I had said earlier that I wasn't going to go to the meeting, but I felt afterwards that I was wrong so I decided I would go.
After the meeting me, Linda, Brenda and Gorden went to the local Indian resturaunt, We started with a stiff drink, I think we all needed one, then a bottle of wine. I told the others about the banquet meals, that me and cath had had previousley, so that was what we had, we all felt so stuffed, but it was gorgeous and leftovers were taken home by the others, for their various animals to eat tomorrow.
I hope I sleep tonight, my brain is tired and my body is knackered!
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