Some times I had good days for quite a while, maybe 5 or 6 in a row and I would hope that this awful thing had gone, but it didn't, their was always a crash just around the corner. I loved having a bath, I needed help to get in and out but I loved to soak in the perfumed water and read a bit of my book. I am a woman that loves to be pampered, massages, pedicures, hair and nails done etc. The last bath I ever had was at a night time, my body ached so much and I was so so tired, but thought a soak would help, so I put all this smelly oily stuff in it Bob got me in it, then went to the phone box saying he would be back in about 20 minutes. Well I must of fallen asleep in the bath because the next thing I remember, is katie shouting to Richard to get dad, and she is holding my head out of the water. I must of slipped while I was asleep, because of all the oil I had put in, Katie was having a hard time holding my head because it was so oily and the water was quite deep nearly to the top of the bath, I couldn't do a lot because I just kept slipping. Bob and Richard rushed in the bathroom and Bob pulled the plug! Getting me out was a nightmare because of all the oil.
Katie and Richard had been so frightened Katie was 10 and Richard 9, they had both done so well, I could of drowned, that was the thought bob had too. So that was it Bob contacted the council and social services and after a couple of months they had put a shower in and took the bath out, the base of the shower was strong enough and big enough to take the wheelchair in
The amount of medication I was on was enormous, steroids, anti-depressants, water tablets, muscle relaxants and then the painkillers. I has been 8 and a1/2 stone for years going up to 10 and a 1/2 when I was pregnant. I suppose because I was less mobile and the meds, my weight started to increase, at my biggest I have been 15 stone, this really made me unhappy too, maybe I was to thin before, but now I had curves where your not supposed to have curves lol.
After a while I accepted that Bob at times had to do all the personal things for me, the best way I could handle it was to have a laugh and joke about it and not really think to much, if I had, thought about it, all I would have done is cry, because to me, even if you have been together 10 years their are somethings that are done in private. I know and accept other people don't feel like this but that's how I am. Bob never moaned he just got on with whatever I needed, he always says that it never made him look at me, or feel any different about me. We actually did like and enjoy the showers! That was the best part!
After Christmas that year we talked about getting married, Bob had been married before I met him. His wife is a funny woman, she didn't want him but neither did she want him to be happy with anyone else. It took 10 years for his divorce to come through, but come through it had, Bob bought me an engagement ring when we moved to Wales but we hadn't really talked about getting married. Then we did and decided to get married June 15th that year which was 1995.
Well the kids were so excited, it was like we were all getting married! Katie and Richard had decide a few years earlier when I had given birth to Jonathan that they wanted the same surname as him, so we did this by deed poll. So i was the only one without the Bessant name.
I wasn't nervous not at all, getting married was no big deal!. We booked the wedding at Newtown Registry office and sent out invitations, booked the venue for the party afterward, ordered the cake, bought the rings and new clothes for us all.
My cousin Roslyn arrived the night before, as a gift to us she had bought the flowers. Well that night Bob slept on the sofa and Roslyn slept with me, well I don't think we got much sleep. Roslyn was the only person who knew how nervous I was about saying my vows. Because of the M.E. sometimes I stop in mid sentence because I forget what I want to say, or my words come out all miss mashed,back to front. I was so scared of making a mistake, I knew everyone would be listening to me which made me feel even worse. So most of the night I kept practising. Well the morning came, as it usually does! and the knots in my stomach were awful, I had had my hair cut and blow dried the day before and had slept in a hair net! but a friend was coming round jst to make sure it was ok and help me with make up etc and help with getting the kids ready. They were all so excited, their was a video recorder recording all of us everytime we moved.
They all looked so lovely and smart, Richard was Bob's " Best Man" he was really chuffed about this. He went up stairs to the bathroom and came back down with no eyebrows! I don't know what had made him do it, he just did it, and being quite dark it was very noticable, friends tried to "draw on eyebrows" with make up. They tried their best and that was it nothing else could be done, so that was one catastrophe and we hadn't left the house yet!.
We eventually all got to the registry office , where most of Bob's family were waiting for us. It was a lovely sunny day and as Bob got out of his car he was asked to go and pay!
Their was only a little aisle, thank god and the room was full,I was shaking like a leaf, me the one who had said "no don't be daft I won't be nervous", well I was my heart was pounding and then the service began. Yes I made a cock up of it as I had known all along my words came out wrong and I forgot what I had to say. I nearly cried but I managed not too, and was so relieved to get out of their.
Our wedding was how we wanted it, small, just a few friends and family, and it only cost £350.
So now I was Mrs Bessant.
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