I was awake at 3.00am, my arm and leg muscles were causing me severe pain so I had more Tramadol 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes. 4.00am staggered back to bed, I slept from about 5.00am.
Bob was arriving at 10.00am so I got up at 9.00am feeling quite dopey, again like I had been to a great all night party! I had my sugar puffs before I did anything hoping that the sugar would bounce some energy into me quickly. It didn't, having a was seemed like "in slow motion" I was still getting ready when bob arrived at 10.00am, I had sat down for 15minutes and had a cup of tea and smoked 2 cigarettes! He was okay, made himself a coffee and just chatted till I was ready.
Their are some beautiful views on the way to Aberystwyth next time i go I will take some photo's to put on my blog.
Our first shop was Morrison's,Bob held onto and pushed the trolley rather than use his walking stick.
I got lots of satsumas, as I know my grandson Matthew loves these and lots of veggies, he's not so keen on them lol. Then the cheese and meats, all of us like these, Katie's partner Ross has been told about my pineapple upside down cake so this is one of the deserts the other is apple crumble all of us love to eat these too. We bought so much we very nearly had to go and get another trolley.
Just as I started to queue I felt a blood sugar drop coming on, the sweat started, the shaking and my eyes weren't focusing properly. I felt really ill, luckily our shopping was now on the conveyor belt being checked through, so I just had to hang on and not faint for hopefully 2 minutes. I went and sat down in the cafe part I had told Bob what I wanted or rather needed. Once I ate and drank after about half an hour I was fine again.
I told Bob how much I had spent he just grinned and I said when its just me I hardly bother, his reply was" well after I have paid everything I have to pay out like electric, water, car insurance I have £12.50 a week left to spend on food. Since I left he was put on Job Seekers Allowance which is £67.50 a week! This shocked me to the core, that he only had £12.50 for food! How anyone lives on that I don't know. A politician a few years a go lived on Job seekers allowance for a couple of weeks, yeah couple of weeks is nothing though, he would have to buy any clothes or shoes in that time, he paid for his electric through a meter, he never went through a Christmas living on that benefit, so really he has no bloody idea what its like to have to live on such a low amount of money!
I have been giving Bob Bags of shopping and I buy my dog his food and pay any vets bills and I give Bob a pouch of tobacco most weeks. and we go to the local Indian restaurant sometimes and I pay for him. I give him money if he is going on the boat or fishing with his brothers, its always a battle to get him to accept it, but I make him have it, because if I hadn't left he wouldn't be living like he is.
I don't think if you are on this benefit you can live a life like a normal person. Its degrading, its depressing and it gives people no hope.
We went and got a bag of chips and sat on the bench and ate them, they were lovely and I had lots of crunchy bits in the bottom of mine, we chatted while we ate, mostly about the kids when they were young.
After we went to lidl and Iceland all our bags were full, well Matthew is staying with Bob while he is on half-term so I got them some goodies and Katie is taking other food, Bob and Matthew love being together.
We got back to the flat and I started to unpack some of the shopping while Bob made a drink
I was starting to feel shattered, we drank our drinks and Bob went home to walk the dog and feed him. I was in bed at 5.00pm and I think I slept as soon as my head hit the pillow.
7.30pm I awoke, I knew Birmingham City were playing football tonight so I watched the Spurs game till halve time, then they showed Birmingham, they won 2-1, I was well pleased with that!
I decided to strip the spare bed ready for my guests. Matthew has already been told that he is sleeping with Nanny in her great big bed.... he seemed quite pleased with that....
Well by day has seemed a busy one. My Epsom salts arrived today so I shall try and get into the bath tomorrow evening and have my first ever Epsom's Salt bath, they are supposed to be wonderful.
I will let you know, take care all of you, xx
I enjoy the direct, flowing and descriptive manner you are able to to capture in your writings, along with the brevity yet the feelings entertwine with fact. I noticed how your arms and legs were hurting and recently your arms were hurting from work, I wondered why her legs, too? Because my legs hurt alot also, yet I do not always understand why.
ReplyDeleteI like the description of the shopping trip and of Bob and his lifestyle. In fact, you have done me a favour of immense proportions. You are describing the relationship I have with my ex-, very few have ever understood it, since we have been divorced a long time. For me, it the reverse, for many years it was primarily my income that supported our small family, his income was adjunct, now the tables have turned. He has ''issues'' yet is my current caretaker.
It is not always easy not by a long shot. I am happy for your having a grandson and admire your working in spite of your symptoms. I don't know what one is supposed to comment on a blog, I'm just being myself. So be it. It gladdened my heart you help him in his circumstances and there is a tangible cautious compatibility apparent. Fracture sleep just as so am I and many others.
Epsom salts, people swear by them over here.
I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy being together! xoxo Marjorie (oh, I don't have diabetes but I do get light-headed nowadays as you mention, it makes me feel again I am not isolated and others face such situations, I must eat every 3-to-5 hours otherwise...you know)
Hi Dee, I totally get that incident that you had with the shaking and sweats, I had the same experience today, when I decided I would get up and sort out dinner for my son and I. This was a trip to the coop and the chippie! At one point I didn't know if I was coming or going, so I ate two apples and a pear, that helped immensely. I have about the same amount of ESA coming in a week as Bob, thankfully there is child benefit and tax credits, but once he leaves school then what? So I really empathise with Bob on that front. Life isn't always a dream is it? But what choice do we have? But I also know that it could be oh so much worse. Like Marjorie, I find your open, candid writing very engaging, and refreshing, I look forward to your blogs and I know what a huge effort they must be at . So keep it up and I hope that you have a blast with your family over the weekend.
ReplyDeleteVanessa