I think last week was my worst week in a long long time physically and mentally.After work on Monday I just collapsed in bed and stayed their apart from getting a drink a couple of times.Tuesday I woke with sweats and shakes. Bob came over to do something on my computer, I did get up and have a drink with him but apart from that I stayed in bed till 4pm. When i got up I was drenched and so was my bed. Bob washed my hair for me and I changed the bedding. He went at 5.30pm, I had a bowl of Alpen and went back to bed till Wednesday morning.
I woke again drenched so had to wash my hair before work, i just pulled the duvet back and opened the window so it would freshen my bed. I can't keep up with all the washing of bedding and clothes.
The Advice Centre was busy and we also had The Charity stall on the market, we did a raffle and it went well. I got home from work Wednesday at 5pm, I was exhausted, plus I had family concerns which were and still are a worry to me. I just wish I could clear my mind so it rested!.I had a sandwich and a drink and a couple of cigarette's and went to bed, however it wasn't a rest full sleep, I kept waking from nightmares that seemed so real it took me a few minutes to realise they were only dreams. I felt very fatigued physically and totally drained mentally.
Thursday day time I just slept, Bob came over, I think he was worried about me, he made soup for us and I got up, had a wash, he washed my hair again for me. I went to a friends house for an hour or so in the evening, she was having a bodyshop party. I did enjoy it once I got their, I just felt so tired.
Thursday night was the same, I kept having nightmares and waking dripping with sweat and with the shakes, in the end I got up at about 5pm, as I couldn't stand it anymore. My legs and arms hurt and ached, I felt like I had been thrashing about about during the nightmares.
By the time I went to work on Friday I felt as though I should be going back to bed. To make matters worse, in the afternoon we had loads of clients, so we were late finishing.
When I got back to the flat I had a drink and a cigarette and went to bed, I didn't wake till 4.30 Saturday morning, then I just had a drink and tablets and slept again till the afternoon. My phone rang twice and I couldn't be bothered to answer it, I just wanted to be left alone to sleep!.
Sunday was the same I only got up to have a drink, tablets and cigarette's, I did see Jon and Sarah for 30mins, they popped in as they had come to Machynlleth to look at a flat.
After that I went back to bed.
I had made plans for my days off, but I did none of them. Last week was what I call a Black week
I hope this week is going to be better.
Monday, 21 November 2011
Monday, 14 November 2011
Not the good weekend I had wanted for M.E
Saturday, my body or brain did not want to get up, I think my body gets used to my routine and know it can do nothing when I'm not at work! Though after a while my brain did kick in because I had promised Bobby I would go to Aberystwyth to collect his Christmas present to his dad. I tried to fool my body and let it have a couple more hours rest.
I got up at 9.00am instead of 7.00am which I do on a work day. It was a lovely sunny bright day and I was looking forward to going to Aberystwyth, had it all planned what I was going to do and which shops I was going in.
I got ready and got on the 10.30am bus which would get me into Aber at 11.30am. Once on the bus its not long before I'm falling asleep! Whenever I travel in a car or bus I'm asleep within 5 minutes! However each time the bus stops my eyes sort of open and I realise I'm not their yet so off I go again!
Once I get their I need to have a strong coffee to try and wake me up. I decide to sit outside a cafe so I can have a couple of cigerettes while I people watch for half and hour or so.
I could have fallen asleep sat their, but I made myself get up and go and get the present and blank dvds that Bob wanted.
Two shops and I was done in, I knew I had to get back to the bus stop, my legs didn't want to work so it was a slow process, by the time I had got their I was dripping in sweat, hair was stuck to my head and face, luckily their was a seat left so at least I could sit down.
People looked and stared, but not one of them asked if I was okay. I could feel myself getting upset and was biting the side of my mouth so I wouldn't cry and be more of an exhabition show.
The bus came and I got on, on the way back I was in to much pain with my legs and back to sleep.
Once I got to Machynlleth I sat on a bench having a cigerette, people watching while I waited for friends, Nicky and Charm, didn't have to wait too long, Nicky looked great she had been to have her hair done and had some lovely colours put in. We had a few laughs, Charm wanted to go to the conker night, that night, cos last year she came second and to prove it Nicky stated that also had bruises down her arm from where the conker hit her, so good luck to Charm.
We chatted for about an hour and it cheered me up, but by then I was so tired. I got back to the flat about 2.30pm and went and got into bed.
I woke a couple of hours later took my quilt and pillow in the lounge and lay on the sofa waiting for the football to start.
I had one eye open the other closed and was listening to the footbal, I did wake up a bit more when Englands Frank Lampard scored. I needed a cup of tea and a cigerette after that shock. I had a bowl of Alpen cereal, that was the first thing I had eaten that day.
Once the game ended I had another cigerette and tablets and painkillers and went to be. I woke about 3.am dripping and shaking, so made a cup of tea and a slice of toast with peanut butter spread all over it, was quite nice!. I got in the other side of the bed as my side was soaked.I slept till 10.30am, I got out of bed, had some Alpen, cup of tea and a couple of ciggerettes, I felt like I'd been to an allnight party and then crawled, literally back into bed. I stayed their till 3.30pm. I had to get myself up whether I wanted to or not because I was desperate for a bath. I stripped my bed as the bath was filling up and opened the bedroom window wide to let in some fresh air!.
Sunday was turning into a not so good day for me, no energy, smelly and I need to get myself in the bath and out again. I managed sort of but hurt my back in the process. I did feel better and smelled a lot nicer, but it had taken so much energy from me. I just found a huge towel, wrapped it round me and watched TV for a few minutes. I knew I had to make my bed up so I started slowly, first doing all 4 pillow cases and the bottom sheet, that was enough for while. I needed to rest before I got the duvet cover on the duvet. Its things like this that get me mad, I used to do all this so easily and now I have to rest and do it in stages. I did the duvet but by the time it was done I was dripping with sweat, my stuck to my face and the muscles in my arms hurting like hell!
I had a drink took my night time tablets and painkillers had a cigerette and went to bed. It was one of those nights where if I had stayed awake I would have got mad at myself.
Luckily for me sleep won, and I woke just before the alarm on Monday morning.
I got up at 9.00am instead of 7.00am which I do on a work day. It was a lovely sunny bright day and I was looking forward to going to Aberystwyth, had it all planned what I was going to do and which shops I was going in.
I got ready and got on the 10.30am bus which would get me into Aber at 11.30am. Once on the bus its not long before I'm falling asleep! Whenever I travel in a car or bus I'm asleep within 5 minutes! However each time the bus stops my eyes sort of open and I realise I'm not their yet so off I go again!
Once I get their I need to have a strong coffee to try and wake me up. I decide to sit outside a cafe so I can have a couple of cigerettes while I people watch for half and hour or so.
I could have fallen asleep sat their, but I made myself get up and go and get the present and blank dvds that Bob wanted.
Two shops and I was done in, I knew I had to get back to the bus stop, my legs didn't want to work so it was a slow process, by the time I had got their I was dripping in sweat, hair was stuck to my head and face, luckily their was a seat left so at least I could sit down.
People looked and stared, but not one of them asked if I was okay. I could feel myself getting upset and was biting the side of my mouth so I wouldn't cry and be more of an exhabition show.
The bus came and I got on, on the way back I was in to much pain with my legs and back to sleep.
Once I got to Machynlleth I sat on a bench having a cigerette, people watching while I waited for friends, Nicky and Charm, didn't have to wait too long, Nicky looked great she had been to have her hair done and had some lovely colours put in. We had a few laughs, Charm wanted to go to the conker night, that night, cos last year she came second and to prove it Nicky stated that also had bruises down her arm from where the conker hit her, so good luck to Charm.
We chatted for about an hour and it cheered me up, but by then I was so tired. I got back to the flat about 2.30pm and went and got into bed.
I woke a couple of hours later took my quilt and pillow in the lounge and lay on the sofa waiting for the football to start.
I had one eye open the other closed and was listening to the footbal, I did wake up a bit more when Englands Frank Lampard scored. I needed a cup of tea and a cigerette after that shock. I had a bowl of Alpen cereal, that was the first thing I had eaten that day.
Once the game ended I had another cigerette and tablets and painkillers and went to be. I woke about 3.am dripping and shaking, so made a cup of tea and a slice of toast with peanut butter spread all over it, was quite nice!. I got in the other side of the bed as my side was soaked.I slept till 10.30am, I got out of bed, had some Alpen, cup of tea and a couple of ciggerettes, I felt like I'd been to an allnight party and then crawled, literally back into bed. I stayed their till 3.30pm. I had to get myself up whether I wanted to or not because I was desperate for a bath. I stripped my bed as the bath was filling up and opened the bedroom window wide to let in some fresh air!.
Sunday was turning into a not so good day for me, no energy, smelly and I need to get myself in the bath and out again. I managed sort of but hurt my back in the process. I did feel better and smelled a lot nicer, but it had taken so much energy from me. I just found a huge towel, wrapped it round me and watched TV for a few minutes. I knew I had to make my bed up so I started slowly, first doing all 4 pillow cases and the bottom sheet, that was enough for while. I needed to rest before I got the duvet cover on the duvet. Its things like this that get me mad, I used to do all this so easily and now I have to rest and do it in stages. I did the duvet but by the time it was done I was dripping with sweat, my stuck to my face and the muscles in my arms hurting like hell!
I had a drink took my night time tablets and painkillers had a cigerette and went to bed. It was one of those nights where if I had stayed awake I would have got mad at myself.
Luckily for me sleep won, and I woke just before the alarm on Monday morning.
Friday, 11 November 2011
M.E. and a great end to a lovely week
Monday morning Bobby texted me at 6.30am to tell me he had arrived at Birmingham. I dozed off again till 7.00am then the alarm came to life making its awful noise, my body did not want to move so it was a struggle to get up, washed and dressed. After my breakfast and two cups of tea and two cigarettes I went to work.
I was excited about Bobby coming home and found myself clock watching most of the day. Eventually 2.30pm came and I left work and went back to my flat where Bobby and Bob were waiting for me.
Even at 23 years he still gives me a kiss and hug when he sees me, where ever we meet up and wouldn't be embarrassed if his friends were with him.
Later we went out with friends for a meal at the local Indian restaurant, it was a good night with good food and great company.
We all ate that much we could hardly move afterwards. We always have the poppadoms and pickles and sauces, then we three had the shish kebab starters, then i had Tandoori mixed grill with aloo gobi, Bobby had chicken balti and Bob had the chicken buna, we never look at the menu, we always have the same meal. I have been with friends and we had a banquet, which is a mixture of starters and three main courses different rices and nam breads.
Photo is of me and Bobby before going out for our meal.
Later friends took Bob back to Cemmaes and Booby stayed at my flat.
Bob and Bobby in the photo.
Bob came to the flat Tuesday morning and had quite a hard job of getting me and Bobby to up out of bed. Bobby and I and talked for a couple of hours so it was about 1.00am before we went to bed. We got up about 10.00am, but it was nearly midday before we went to Aberystwyth to do Christmas shopping. Because Bobby will be working Christmas we decided to get Bobby his presents and give them to him.
He chose a shirt from "Next" he didn't like any of the jeans so he got a pair he liked from "Burton's" We went to a lovely cafe and had the best custard slices ever. If any of you go to Aberystwyth pop into The Penguin Cafe and have a custard slice, they are gorgeous!
After going to two shops I was shattered so food shopping never happened. Bob drove us back to my flat and I went to bed. Bobby stayed with Bob in Cemmaes as they were spending Wednesday fishing. I only got up later for tablets and a drink, I slept all night and woke at 7.00am Wednesday. The shopping trip and going out for a meal had taken its toll, but I am still glad I went as I enjoyed it.
I woke with sore stiff muscles, which hurt like hell when I walked or moved my arms, my right ankle joint felt like it was going to crack when I put weight on it, it took me ages to get ready and to get to work, I got through it by taking more painkillers after two hours rather than waiting for four hours. I know that's not a good idea, but I couldn't cope with the pain. By the afternoon it had got easier to walk, so after work I visited my friend cath for a while, then Bob and Bobby came for me and we went to my flat. The flat was lovely and clean and smelled clean and fresh, my cleaner had been while I was working. Once a fortnight she cleans for two hours and I pay £16 I think its great because their is no way I could do it myself. Bobby had asked me what I wanted for Christmas, so I thought about it and decided on a foot spa. I really think I will use it a lot and hopefully my feet will enjoy it!
Bob took Bobby to the train station at 5.30, I didn't go as I was too tired and I get all emotional when he goes. I had a sandwich and went to bed. Bobby texted me when he got to Birmingham to say the bus had been delayed.
I got up about 3.00am Thursday morning and texted Bobby to where he was on his long journey back to Aberdeen. He wasn't happy as he hadn't long left Birmingham!. I had a drink, some painkillers and a couple of cigarettes and then went back to bed. Its as if my body knows when I have a day off from work, I didn't wake again till about midday, even then I had to force myself to get out of bed. I had to go out, to pay my rent and buy some food. I did this in a haze of "brain fog" got back to the flat, had a drink, some toast a cigarette and then went back to bed till about 6.30pm. I wasn't up for more than a couple of hours, I did manage to have an Epsom's salt bath and once I was dry I went back to bed. I rang bobby before I fell asleep and he told me that he hadn't got back to Aberdeen till 1.30pm and he had to go straight to work and was working till 9.00pm.
I think all the sleep did me good as I woke this morning before the alarm and I didn't have "brain fog" in fact I felt quite bright, washed my hair that stank of sweat, made my lunch, had a cigarette and an extra cup of tea before I left for work.
Work was great today, it started brilliantly, I opened the post, and I had to read the one letter again before I believed it. Since we went independent from being a Citizens Advice Bureaus we had not been funded by the local council. The letter that i had read twice was from Powys county council, stating that they were giving us £5000 for the rest of the financial year, and that they now recognised what we did for our community! In all my excitement, I mis dialled my bosses phone number twice before I got through to her. As the staff came in I told them all and showed the letter to each of them, the excitement just grew all day, by the time we closed I think most of us, not just me were shattered.
Bob was at the flat when I got in, and I told him the good news, he was thrilled for us too as he knows what a struggle it has been for us to get money to stay open.
He noticed my ankle was swollen so he massaged it for me and we chatted and laughed about some of the funny things our kids have done. It was a lovely couple of hours. Jon came for a coffee, he had been busy at the garage. Machynlleth had been busy all day as the big car rally had been on and is still going on tonight. Today has been a lovely day for a lot of us, wonder how the weekend is going to be?
I was excited about Bobby coming home and found myself clock watching most of the day. Eventually 2.30pm came and I left work and went back to my flat where Bobby and Bob were waiting for me.
Even at 23 years he still gives me a kiss and hug when he sees me, where ever we meet up and wouldn't be embarrassed if his friends were with him.
Later we went out with friends for a meal at the local Indian restaurant, it was a good night with good food and great company.
Photo is of me and Bobby before going out for our meal.
Bob and Bobby in the photo.
Bob came to the flat Tuesday morning and had quite a hard job of getting me and Bobby to up out of bed. Bobby and I and talked for a couple of hours so it was about 1.00am before we went to bed. We got up about 10.00am, but it was nearly midday before we went to Aberystwyth to do Christmas shopping. Because Bobby will be working Christmas we decided to get Bobby his presents and give them to him.
He chose a shirt from "Next" he didn't like any of the jeans so he got a pair he liked from "Burton's" We went to a lovely cafe and had the best custard slices ever. If any of you go to Aberystwyth pop into The Penguin Cafe and have a custard slice, they are gorgeous!
After going to two shops I was shattered so food shopping never happened. Bob drove us back to my flat and I went to bed. Bobby stayed with Bob in Cemmaes as they were spending Wednesday fishing. I only got up later for tablets and a drink, I slept all night and woke at 7.00am Wednesday. The shopping trip and going out for a meal had taken its toll, but I am still glad I went as I enjoyed it.
I woke with sore stiff muscles, which hurt like hell when I walked or moved my arms, my right ankle joint felt like it was going to crack when I put weight on it, it took me ages to get ready and to get to work, I got through it by taking more painkillers after two hours rather than waiting for four hours. I know that's not a good idea, but I couldn't cope with the pain. By the afternoon it had got easier to walk, so after work I visited my friend cath for a while, then Bob and Bobby came for me and we went to my flat. The flat was lovely and clean and smelled clean and fresh, my cleaner had been while I was working. Once a fortnight she cleans for two hours and I pay £16 I think its great because their is no way I could do it myself. Bobby had asked me what I wanted for Christmas, so I thought about it and decided on a foot spa. I really think I will use it a lot and hopefully my feet will enjoy it!
Bob took Bobby to the train station at 5.30, I didn't go as I was too tired and I get all emotional when he goes. I had a sandwich and went to bed. Bobby texted me when he got to Birmingham to say the bus had been delayed.
I got up about 3.00am Thursday morning and texted Bobby to where he was on his long journey back to Aberdeen. He wasn't happy as he hadn't long left Birmingham!. I had a drink, some painkillers and a couple of cigarettes and then went back to bed. Its as if my body knows when I have a day off from work, I didn't wake again till about midday, even then I had to force myself to get out of bed. I had to go out, to pay my rent and buy some food. I did this in a haze of "brain fog" got back to the flat, had a drink, some toast a cigarette and then went back to bed till about 6.30pm. I wasn't up for more than a couple of hours, I did manage to have an Epsom's salt bath and once I was dry I went back to bed. I rang bobby before I fell asleep and he told me that he hadn't got back to Aberdeen till 1.30pm and he had to go straight to work and was working till 9.00pm.
I think all the sleep did me good as I woke this morning before the alarm and I didn't have "brain fog" in fact I felt quite bright, washed my hair that stank of sweat, made my lunch, had a cigarette and an extra cup of tea before I left for work.
Work was great today, it started brilliantly, I opened the post, and I had to read the one letter again before I believed it. Since we went independent from being a Citizens Advice Bureaus we had not been funded by the local council. The letter that i had read twice was from Powys county council, stating that they were giving us £5000 for the rest of the financial year, and that they now recognised what we did for our community! In all my excitement, I mis dialled my bosses phone number twice before I got through to her. As the staff came in I told them all and showed the letter to each of them, the excitement just grew all day, by the time we closed I think most of us, not just me were shattered.
Bob was at the flat when I got in, and I told him the good news, he was thrilled for us too as he knows what a struggle it has been for us to get money to stay open.
He noticed my ankle was swollen so he massaged it for me and we chatted and laughed about some of the funny things our kids have done. It was a lovely couple of hours. Jon came for a coffee, he had been busy at the garage. Machynlleth had been busy all day as the big car rally had been on and is still going on tonight. Today has been a lovely day for a lot of us, wonder how the weekend is going to be?
Monday, 7 November 2011
Stupid M.E
Saturday morning I woke with brain fog, aching sore muscles and I still felt tired. I got up just before 10.00am had a cup of tea and a couple of cigarettes and my tablets, then the phone rang, the person stated he was from Windows Care 2 and they had noticed that I had been having problems with my computer as I had sent in a number of Error reports, which I had, I remember quite a few times this pop up had appeared asking whether I wanted to send in an error report and I had clicked, send.
The man on the phone told me to hold down the windows flag on the keyboard and press the letter "R" at the same time. I did this and he told me to enter a sequence of numbers, again I did this, he was telling me that my computer was sending out malicious emails and was under threat from being hacked. I was quite shocked and worried. He then asked me how old my computer was and I told him 8 years. He then told me to look at the screen and asked could I see all the red alerts and yellow triangles which were viruses. I looked at it all and I panicked. He then told me that because I had had my computer 8 years, the Windows operating System was out of license and that I had to pay £80 to get a new one or my computer would not work, it would just stop. He wanted all my details, date of birth, telephone number etc and I gave it all to him. Then he said a "pop up" would appear when payment had gone through paypal, and this "pop up" was their technician "Bob Ainsley" and I could chat to him about any concerns I had. Well this "pop up" came and took over using my mouse and it was amazing to watch, he went through all my computer and he typed "how lucky I was that I hadn't been hacked" but now it would be okay and that I had to "run" this programme every 15 days , he even pointed the arrow of the mouse to the icon I had to click on to do it.
They finished and I thanked them so much and that I was so grateful to them for ringing!
I thought I had better ring Bob and tell him all about it, well I rang Bob but had brain fog and couldn't remember what I had rang him for. About an hour later I was getting dressed and Jon arrived, we decided to go and watch Machynlleth play football, they lost 5-1 and we left about 5 minutes before the end as I was cold and tired.
Jon then went off to see Bob in Cemmaes and I went to bed for a couple of hours.
I woke up feeling brighter than in the morning, maybe the fresh air had helped.
I then remembered I needed to ring Bob, well I only got half way through the first sentence and he said," love you have been hacked" I argued and told him I hadn't, that it was Windows that had rang me etc, I told him how I had given them all my details and just as I said that I too realised.....yes I had been done and I had helped them and I had paid them £80!
It was as if the brain fog had lifted and I saw the light! With that I couldn't help it I cried and cried. Bob rang me back, he had borrowed a friends car and was coming up to the flat, he told me to shut the computer down.
He told me I needed to use another computer and change all my passwords to everything, so I got the keys to work and we went over and changed everything, bank account passwords, credit card passwords, store accounts, email passwords everything. I felt sick and so stupid, before when anyone rang me wanting personal details I always told them to write to me and then I would think about it.
I couldn't believe I had done it. I was lucky. I rang the telephone number they gave me and an Asian speaking lady on a voice machine informed me that all advisers were busy, no name of the company or welcome to Blah Blah Blah.
I went to bed feeling very tired and worn out.
Bob then took my computer home and took everything off it, he found the programme Windows Care 2 had put on and he put a Nortons virus protection on then ran that programme, over 800 viruses were on it.
He had to take everything off my computer, think it took him quite a few hours.
So everyone beware of phone calls especially the ones that ask for all your details and I won't be clicking "send error reports" either.
Sunday I woke early before 7.00am had a drink and cigarette and went back to bed till 2.00pm. I woke dripping with sweat, the sheet on my bed was soaking wet, so I stripped it off the bed and left the window open to air the mattress. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I wished i had the energy to go out for a walk, but I didn't, all I managed to do was hang the sheet and duvet cover on the washing line. I lay on the sofa most of the day watching TV and sleeping. I thought of Bobby, he would be leaving Aberdeen soon and travelling through the night, he gets to Birmingham at 6.45am then waits for a train to Machynlleth, he gets here at 11.00am, I went to bed just after 9.00pm as I was so tired, I ached from head to foot. I woke at 3.00am desperate for a drink, so I had a can of coke to quench my thirst and decided to surprise Bobby by sending him a text. Can't wait to see him .
The man on the phone told me to hold down the windows flag on the keyboard and press the letter "R" at the same time. I did this and he told me to enter a sequence of numbers, again I did this, he was telling me that my computer was sending out malicious emails and was under threat from being hacked. I was quite shocked and worried. He then asked me how old my computer was and I told him 8 years. He then told me to look at the screen and asked could I see all the red alerts and yellow triangles which were viruses. I looked at it all and I panicked. He then told me that because I had had my computer 8 years, the Windows operating System was out of license and that I had to pay £80 to get a new one or my computer would not work, it would just stop. He wanted all my details, date of birth, telephone number etc and I gave it all to him. Then he said a "pop up" would appear when payment had gone through paypal, and this "pop up" was their technician "Bob Ainsley" and I could chat to him about any concerns I had. Well this "pop up" came and took over using my mouse and it was amazing to watch, he went through all my computer and he typed "how lucky I was that I hadn't been hacked" but now it would be okay and that I had to "run" this programme every 15 days , he even pointed the arrow of the mouse to the icon I had to click on to do it.
They finished and I thanked them so much and that I was so grateful to them for ringing!
I thought I had better ring Bob and tell him all about it, well I rang Bob but had brain fog and couldn't remember what I had rang him for. About an hour later I was getting dressed and Jon arrived, we decided to go and watch Machynlleth play football, they lost 5-1 and we left about 5 minutes before the end as I was cold and tired.
Jon then went off to see Bob in Cemmaes and I went to bed for a couple of hours.
I woke up feeling brighter than in the morning, maybe the fresh air had helped.
I then remembered I needed to ring Bob, well I only got half way through the first sentence and he said," love you have been hacked" I argued and told him I hadn't, that it was Windows that had rang me etc, I told him how I had given them all my details and just as I said that I too realised.....yes I had been done and I had helped them and I had paid them £80!
It was as if the brain fog had lifted and I saw the light! With that I couldn't help it I cried and cried. Bob rang me back, he had borrowed a friends car and was coming up to the flat, he told me to shut the computer down.
He told me I needed to use another computer and change all my passwords to everything, so I got the keys to work and we went over and changed everything, bank account passwords, credit card passwords, store accounts, email passwords everything. I felt sick and so stupid, before when anyone rang me wanting personal details I always told them to write to me and then I would think about it.
I couldn't believe I had done it. I was lucky. I rang the telephone number they gave me and an Asian speaking lady on a voice machine informed me that all advisers were busy, no name of the company or welcome to Blah Blah Blah.
I went to bed feeling very tired and worn out.
Bob then took my computer home and took everything off it, he found the programme Windows Care 2 had put on and he put a Nortons virus protection on then ran that programme, over 800 viruses were on it.
He had to take everything off my computer, think it took him quite a few hours.
So everyone beware of phone calls especially the ones that ask for all your details and I won't be clicking "send error reports" either.
Sunday I woke early before 7.00am had a drink and cigarette and went back to bed till 2.00pm. I woke dripping with sweat, the sheet on my bed was soaking wet, so I stripped it off the bed and left the window open to air the mattress. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I wished i had the energy to go out for a walk, but I didn't, all I managed to do was hang the sheet and duvet cover on the washing line. I lay on the sofa most of the day watching TV and sleeping. I thought of Bobby, he would be leaving Aberdeen soon and travelling through the night, he gets to Birmingham at 6.45am then waits for a train to Machynlleth, he gets here at 11.00am, I went to bed just after 9.00pm as I was so tired, I ached from head to foot. I woke at 3.00am desperate for a drink, so I had a can of coke to quench my thirst and decided to surprise Bobby by sending him a text. Can't wait to see him .
M.E and my bloody muscles!
Thursday I woke and didn't feel that good , even though I didn't have work I was up before 9.00am. I had planned to go to Aberystwyth, but didn't feel I would be able to manage on my own. My ankle joints felt like they were going to crack and I would have a sharp pain when I stood up and put my weight on them other than that I felt quite good for a change. I needed to go to the shops to go and buy one or two grocery items and wanted to have a mooch round the town if my ankle wasn't too bed.
Getting downstairs was quite difficult and painful, but I was determined to get out of the flat for a while.
I went and paid some bills and the rent and decided to go to the cafe in the park for a coffee.
After getting their my ankle joint was even more painful and then when I picked up my mug of coffee the muscle in my arm hurt and gave me a sharp pain, so I had to drink my coffee using my left hand, I then noticed my muscle in my left arm was swollen and quite warm and very sore if touched.
Getting back to the flat was a bit of a nightmare, every step i took hurt, I would of very much liked to have been "beamed up" like they used to do in Star Trek and be in my flat. It took about 40 minutes for me to get back. By then I was in agony and the sweat was pouring off me, the stairs didn't help either, at this point i just broke down crying, I'd really had enough now, I got my tablets, took some more painkillers and just lay on my bed. The friend came round, who's son had been buying "weed" I knew her reaction would be okay and when I told her she thanked me, they had already had suspicions and he had denied it. They knew that they wouldn't be able to stop him, but she could make him aware of the dangers. So basically that was my Thursday after she went I lay in bed and apart from getting up for a drink at about 7.30pm I spent the rest of the day night in bed.
Friday, I woke and felt so stiff almost rigid. It was very hard to get washed and dressed, the wash wasn't as good as it should of been and it took me along time to dress. Even my fingers were stiff and painful, so buttons were a no no, also a no no was make up and doing hair. So yes I went to work, I didn't even look in the mirror to see what I looked like! I had to delegate a lot of my work to colleagues, but they didn't mind, they know that I would only do that in exceptional circumstances. Cath a friend and colleague massed my shoulder for me as best she could with but my muscles were just rock solid. I felt pain all over my body it was like every muscle was in spasm.
Cath came home with me as her daughter was picking her up to take her to her other daughter who had a spare set of keys to her house, as Cath had locked herself out of her house this morning.
Bob was at my flat and had made us a drink, we chatted for a while and I had a couple of cigarettes and painkillers. When they both left I went to bed as I couldn't stand the pain anymore.
As I lay in bed I was thinking about Bobby, my son, he is coming home on Monday from Aberdeen where he works as a chef, their is 10 of us going out for a meal Monday night, I just hoped I would be able to go. Being in pain for long periods of time wears me out. I had a sandwich about 6.00pm and then went to bed. I woke about 3.00am and smoked a couple of cigarettes and had a cup of tea, then went back to bed.
Getting downstairs was quite difficult and painful, but I was determined to get out of the flat for a while.
I went and paid some bills and the rent and decided to go to the cafe in the park for a coffee.
After getting their my ankle joint was even more painful and then when I picked up my mug of coffee the muscle in my arm hurt and gave me a sharp pain, so I had to drink my coffee using my left hand, I then noticed my muscle in my left arm was swollen and quite warm and very sore if touched.
Getting back to the flat was a bit of a nightmare, every step i took hurt, I would of very much liked to have been "beamed up" like they used to do in Star Trek and be in my flat. It took about 40 minutes for me to get back. By then I was in agony and the sweat was pouring off me, the stairs didn't help either, at this point i just broke down crying, I'd really had enough now, I got my tablets, took some more painkillers and just lay on my bed. The friend came round, who's son had been buying "weed" I knew her reaction would be okay and when I told her she thanked me, they had already had suspicions and he had denied it. They knew that they wouldn't be able to stop him, but she could make him aware of the dangers. So basically that was my Thursday after she went I lay in bed and apart from getting up for a drink at about 7.30pm I spent the rest of the day night in bed.
Friday, I woke and felt so stiff almost rigid. It was very hard to get washed and dressed, the wash wasn't as good as it should of been and it took me along time to dress. Even my fingers were stiff and painful, so buttons were a no no, also a no no was make up and doing hair. So yes I went to work, I didn't even look in the mirror to see what I looked like! I had to delegate a lot of my work to colleagues, but they didn't mind, they know that I would only do that in exceptional circumstances. Cath a friend and colleague massed my shoulder for me as best she could with but my muscles were just rock solid. I felt pain all over my body it was like every muscle was in spasm.
Cath came home with me as her daughter was picking her up to take her to her other daughter who had a spare set of keys to her house, as Cath had locked herself out of her house this morning.
Bob was at my flat and had made us a drink, we chatted for a while and I had a couple of cigarettes and painkillers. When they both left I went to bed as I couldn't stand the pain anymore.
As I lay in bed I was thinking about Bobby, my son, he is coming home on Monday from Aberdeen where he works as a chef, their is 10 of us going out for a meal Monday night, I just hoped I would be able to go. Being in pain for long periods of time wears me out. I had a sandwich about 6.00pm and then went to bed. I woke about 3.00am and smoked a couple of cigarettes and had a cup of tea, then went back to bed.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
M.E not so good, but some things to look forward too
Monday I woke feeling really stiff and it was difficult to get out of bed, even more difficult and stressful was getting washed and dressed. My arms and fingers hurt like hell if I tried to use them. I lost my temper with myself because I couldn't do the buttons up on the blouse I wanted to wear and had to wear something else.
I was so glad that I had done my tablets on Saturday, I put them all in the compartments, morning, lunchtime, afternoon, dinnertime, evening and bedtime for each day of the week so all I had to do was slide the top off Monday - Morning, and swallow them. I put just enough water in a jug for a cup of tea and then poured it into the kettle. Lifting a mug of tea still hurt but not quite as bad as the previous day.
Luckily the painkillers and muscle relaxant's started to kick in before I went to work. It was a no make up day, a no hair done day as I wasn't able to do it. I hate it when I can't look after myself properly, it sends me on a downward spiral mentally so then I get depressed about being ill and end up feeling sorry for myself and get myself in a right state, crying one minute and ranting and raving the next. It takes a while for me to come back up after feeling like that, so it was good that later in the day I got a text from a friend, who is going off on her travels again, to ask if I would like to go for a meal before she goes.
Work was hard for me on Monday as I could hardly type but I managed to do the work I had to do.
After work I got back to the flat had more tablets and painkillers, a cup of tea, a couple of cigarettes and got back in bed. The pain in my fingers nearly drove me mad, thankfully tramadol and baclofen sent me to sleep for a couple of hours. When I woke my fingers felt slightly better so I got up and made a sandwich, a cup of tea and watched TV for a while, phoned my daughter Katie for a chat and to see how the packing was going, as they are moving to a bigger house at the weekend, not far from where they already live.After our chat I was so tired that I went to bed again at 7.00pm and I slept till 2.00am. I knew it was late for me to have my bedtime tablets but I took them anyway and within 30 minutes I was back in bed and fast asleep.
Tuesday I woke about 10.30am dripping with sweat, feeling very groggy, as you do if you've been partying the night before and drinking lots of alcohol, except in my case I hadn't had the fun of doing any of that! Its what I call Brain Fog!
Even after my sugar puffs, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes I still felt the same so their was only one place I was heading and that was bed. I slept solidly till 5.00pm! My day off had gone by without me really noticing it!
A friend came round about 7.00pm took one look at me and her comment was " you look really healthy....NOT". She made us a coffee and we chatted for about an hour and informed me she had seen one of our friends children smoking "Weed". The child is 15 and rebelling as we all did. If the "weed" was like the cannabis that I and many of us smoked 30 years ago I wouldn't have been too worried, but now a days its a lot different, other "stuff" is mixed with it and it can lead to other problems. So I thought about it and decided I would tell our friend, so I left her a private message on facebook asking her to "pop round" when she had time as I needed to speak to her.
In my job I see some client's who are drug or alcohol dependant sometimes they are dependant on both , some have been dependant for years and will continue to be so for the rest of their lives, others try to come off it with the help of methadone or some go to rehab or some go "cold turkey". I enjoy my job as I meet all sorts of people, its interesting, every day is different and I like a challenge, which sometimes it is.
My friend left about 9.00pm and I knew needed to have a bath as I had work the next morning, so I put some epsom salts and radox in the bath and filled up the bath. I always have difficulty getting in and out and usually end up hurting myself, this time was no different, the soak in the bath did me good and I was clean but getting out I had one foot on my step and missed it with the other foot so I half fell out of it!.
After being wrapped in a towel for 20minutes I'd had my bedtime tablets so I went to bed. not my bed but the spare bed, my bed needed stripping but I hadn't the energy to do it.
Wednesday I woke before my alarm went off, which was good, so I stripped my bed and left the window wide open and sprayed lavender round the room and on the mattress before I had even had my breakfast, as I knew I would need to have a rest after doing it.
I had my sugar puffs and two cups of tea and a couple of cigarettes, watched sky news for a few minutes then got my lunch together to take to work. I have been trying not to eat bread so much, so I got some crackled black pepper ryvita's and humus and cherry tomatoes and 3 satsumas and put them into my lunch box. Then I went for a wash and brushed my teeth. I swapped to an electric tooth brush about 8 years ago and I was glad of it on Wednesday morning as my arm muscles were still quite painful.
We didn't actually "Open " for client's on Wednesday as I was the only member of staff in. I quite enjoyed being on my own, I got quite a lot of work done, dealt with the phone calls etc had my lunch and I left a bit early. I went a walk round the market mooching at the stalls, I heard this horn from a van tooting and vaguely saw a person waving but really took no notice, then the van pulled up beside me and I realised it was my son Jonathan, he was in his bosses van on his way to an elderly lady who couldn't start her car, we had a chat for a couple of minutes then he went off and I carried on mooching round the market stalls. I had walked down one side of the street and then I saw Bob in Jon's car and he stopped so could get in and went back to my flat and had a coffee and chatted. Jon came later after work, stopped for a while then took Bob home and I fell asleep on the sofa. I hardly ever do that, usually if I feel I'm falling asleep will go and get into bed. Anyway I woke and had a cup of tea and then watched Frozen Planet on TV for a while, I don't watch the gory bits but I do love David Attenborough's programmes, I record most programmes I like because I can't just sit and watch for an hour, I watch in bits and pieces. Then I went on the computer for a while and looked at one of the M.E. groups on facebook, Raggy Dolls, its just women and we all have M.E or similar illnesses. It had been suggested that we do a calender for the 2013, we had lots of fun and have decided to do a burlesque them, a bit naughty, a bit sexy, but not over the top and I have volunteered to be one of the models!
I was so glad that I had done my tablets on Saturday, I put them all in the compartments, morning, lunchtime, afternoon, dinnertime, evening and bedtime for each day of the week so all I had to do was slide the top off Monday - Morning, and swallow them. I put just enough water in a jug for a cup of tea and then poured it into the kettle. Lifting a mug of tea still hurt but not quite as bad as the previous day.
Luckily the painkillers and muscle relaxant's started to kick in before I went to work. It was a no make up day, a no hair done day as I wasn't able to do it. I hate it when I can't look after myself properly, it sends me on a downward spiral mentally so then I get depressed about being ill and end up feeling sorry for myself and get myself in a right state, crying one minute and ranting and raving the next. It takes a while for me to come back up after feeling like that, so it was good that later in the day I got a text from a friend, who is going off on her travels again, to ask if I would like to go for a meal before she goes.
Work was hard for me on Monday as I could hardly type but I managed to do the work I had to do.
After work I got back to the flat had more tablets and painkillers, a cup of tea, a couple of cigarettes and got back in bed. The pain in my fingers nearly drove me mad, thankfully tramadol and baclofen sent me to sleep for a couple of hours. When I woke my fingers felt slightly better so I got up and made a sandwich, a cup of tea and watched TV for a while, phoned my daughter Katie for a chat and to see how the packing was going, as they are moving to a bigger house at the weekend, not far from where they already live.After our chat I was so tired that I went to bed again at 7.00pm and I slept till 2.00am. I knew it was late for me to have my bedtime tablets but I took them anyway and within 30 minutes I was back in bed and fast asleep.
Tuesday I woke about 10.30am dripping with sweat, feeling very groggy, as you do if you've been partying the night before and drinking lots of alcohol, except in my case I hadn't had the fun of doing any of that! Its what I call Brain Fog!
Even after my sugar puffs, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes I still felt the same so their was only one place I was heading and that was bed. I slept solidly till 5.00pm! My day off had gone by without me really noticing it!
A friend came round about 7.00pm took one look at me and her comment was " you look really healthy....NOT". She made us a coffee and we chatted for about an hour and informed me she had seen one of our friends children smoking "Weed". The child is 15 and rebelling as we all did. If the "weed" was like the cannabis that I and many of us smoked 30 years ago I wouldn't have been too worried, but now a days its a lot different, other "stuff" is mixed with it and it can lead to other problems. So I thought about it and decided I would tell our friend, so I left her a private message on facebook asking her to "pop round" when she had time as I needed to speak to her.
In my job I see some client's who are drug or alcohol dependant sometimes they are dependant on both , some have been dependant for years and will continue to be so for the rest of their lives, others try to come off it with the help of methadone or some go to rehab or some go "cold turkey". I enjoy my job as I meet all sorts of people, its interesting, every day is different and I like a challenge, which sometimes it is.
My friend left about 9.00pm and I knew needed to have a bath as I had work the next morning, so I put some epsom salts and radox in the bath and filled up the bath. I always have difficulty getting in and out and usually end up hurting myself, this time was no different, the soak in the bath did me good and I was clean but getting out I had one foot on my step and missed it with the other foot so I half fell out of it!.
After being wrapped in a towel for 20minutes I'd had my bedtime tablets so I went to bed. not my bed but the spare bed, my bed needed stripping but I hadn't the energy to do it.
Wednesday I woke before my alarm went off, which was good, so I stripped my bed and left the window wide open and sprayed lavender round the room and on the mattress before I had even had my breakfast, as I knew I would need to have a rest after doing it.
I had my sugar puffs and two cups of tea and a couple of cigarettes, watched sky news for a few minutes then got my lunch together to take to work. I have been trying not to eat bread so much, so I got some crackled black pepper ryvita's and humus and cherry tomatoes and 3 satsumas and put them into my lunch box. Then I went for a wash and brushed my teeth. I swapped to an electric tooth brush about 8 years ago and I was glad of it on Wednesday morning as my arm muscles were still quite painful.
We didn't actually "Open " for client's on Wednesday as I was the only member of staff in. I quite enjoyed being on my own, I got quite a lot of work done, dealt with the phone calls etc had my lunch and I left a bit early. I went a walk round the market mooching at the stalls, I heard this horn from a van tooting and vaguely saw a person waving but really took no notice, then the van pulled up beside me and I realised it was my son Jonathan, he was in his bosses van on his way to an elderly lady who couldn't start her car, we had a chat for a couple of minutes then he went off and I carried on mooching round the market stalls. I had walked down one side of the street and then I saw Bob in Jon's car and he stopped so could get in and went back to my flat and had a coffee and chatted. Jon came later after work, stopped for a while then took Bob home and I fell asleep on the sofa. I hardly ever do that, usually if I feel I'm falling asleep will go and get into bed. Anyway I woke and had a cup of tea and then watched Frozen Planet on TV for a while, I don't watch the gory bits but I do love David Attenborough's programmes, I record most programmes I like because I can't just sit and watch for an hour, I watch in bits and pieces. Then I went on the computer for a while and looked at one of the M.E. groups on facebook, Raggy Dolls, its just women and we all have M.E or similar illnesses. It had been suggested that we do a calender for the 2013, we had lots of fun and have decided to do a burlesque them, a bit naughty, a bit sexy, but not over the top and I have volunteered to be one of the models!
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
28th-30th October with ME
Friday I slept through my alarm clock and woke at 8.00am! I didn't get to sleep till about 4.ooam because of the pain and I had taken more painkillers. I had to have sugar puffs before I left for work otherwise I would be fainting about 10.00am. I made it to work for 9.10am so only 10 minutes late, I looked like a dripping ice pop because I had been trying to rush. I was still the first person into work so I made a cup of tea and just sat for 15 minutes to try and recover!
Work was slow in the morning which I quite liked as I had next month's rota to do, I managed to get it done and after lunch quite a few clients came.
Home time came and I knew where I was going ............bed....... after a cigarette and a cup of tea. I was so tired and fatigued both in body and brain.
I slept till 9.00pm, I woke dripping with sweat, boiling hot, shaking and feeling zombefied. I needed a drink I was so thirsty, so had lemonade ice cold and with ice cubes, it was so refreshing. Smoked a couple of cigarette's had my bedtime tablets and got in bed but on the dry cold side, I didn't have the energy to strip the bed then.
I vaguely remember waking on Saturday morning and just rolling over and going back to sleep.
I eventually woke and got up at 4.00pm. I smelled badly of body odeur, sweat was just running off me so I needed to have a bath, a wash just wouldn't be good enough. So I put 2 cups of Epsom salts and radox in the bath and ran the water. This when I need someones help, I can't manage getting in or out with out hurting myself, so I dread it, hope fully the housing association will soon fit me a shower..
I managed to get in, and once in, it felt wonderful. I'm not one for lying in the bath for ages as I feel its like lying in dirty water after a while so 20 minutes is enough for me. I pull the plug with my feet so the water starts to drain away, then start the process of getting myself out! Its not an easy task, I'm not the lightest of people at 14stone! 15 minutes later with a bruised arm and hip I'm out, smelling a lot nicer!.
I just wrap one of my huge towels round me and wait till I'm dry.
I went out with a couple of friends to watch an Adele Tribute singer, she was very good and in the second half she sang songs by other artists, we even danced to 3 songs , I haven't danced for quite a few years,I was enjoying it so much I thought " lets have a go" after 3 I had had enough, by 11.45pm I went home as I was feeling shattered, but at least I had been out and enjoyed it. I remembered to turn my clock back, had a cup of tea, took tablets and went to bed.
Sunday morning came and I could hardly move my arms or legs, the muscles in my arms were like big lumps, I couldn't even lift the kettle to put water in it or lift a cup to my mouth with being in severe pain.
I got a can of coke out the fridge and pulled the ring, that made me cry out in pain, I found some straws that I had bought for when Matthew came, but luckily I hadn't used them all.
I took my morning tablets and painkillers and went back to bed, where I just lay for hours and cried for most of the time.
I hate this illness so much, I try my hardest to work and just do normal things and maybe go out once in a while, but the payback I get makes me wonder is it worth it, I can honestly say Sunday was one of the worst days for quite a few years. All I could do was lie on my bed and rest, I hate days like that, yes because of the pain, but also because i get so bored just lying in bed. But that was my Sunday.
Work was slow in the morning which I quite liked as I had next month's rota to do, I managed to get it done and after lunch quite a few clients came.
Home time came and I knew where I was going ............bed....... after a cigarette and a cup of tea. I was so tired and fatigued both in body and brain.
I slept till 9.00pm, I woke dripping with sweat, boiling hot, shaking and feeling zombefied. I needed a drink I was so thirsty, so had lemonade ice cold and with ice cubes, it was so refreshing. Smoked a couple of cigarette's had my bedtime tablets and got in bed but on the dry cold side, I didn't have the energy to strip the bed then.
I vaguely remember waking on Saturday morning and just rolling over and going back to sleep.
I eventually woke and got up at 4.00pm. I smelled badly of body odeur, sweat was just running off me so I needed to have a bath, a wash just wouldn't be good enough. So I put 2 cups of Epsom salts and radox in the bath and ran the water. This when I need someones help, I can't manage getting in or out with out hurting myself, so I dread it, hope fully the housing association will soon fit me a shower..
I managed to get in, and once in, it felt wonderful. I'm not one for lying in the bath for ages as I feel its like lying in dirty water after a while so 20 minutes is enough for me. I pull the plug with my feet so the water starts to drain away, then start the process of getting myself out! Its not an easy task, I'm not the lightest of people at 14stone! 15 minutes later with a bruised arm and hip I'm out, smelling a lot nicer!.
I just wrap one of my huge towels round me and wait till I'm dry.
I went out with a couple of friends to watch an Adele Tribute singer, she was very good and in the second half she sang songs by other artists, we even danced to 3 songs , I haven't danced for quite a few years,I was enjoying it so much I thought " lets have a go" after 3 I had had enough, by 11.45pm I went home as I was feeling shattered, but at least I had been out and enjoyed it. I remembered to turn my clock back, had a cup of tea, took tablets and went to bed.
Sunday morning came and I could hardly move my arms or legs, the muscles in my arms were like big lumps, I couldn't even lift the kettle to put water in it or lift a cup to my mouth with being in severe pain.
I got a can of coke out the fridge and pulled the ring, that made me cry out in pain, I found some straws that I had bought for when Matthew came, but luckily I hadn't used them all.
I took my morning tablets and painkillers and went back to bed, where I just lay for hours and cried for most of the time.
I hate this illness so much, I try my hardest to work and just do normal things and maybe go out once in a while, but the payback I get makes me wonder is it worth it, I can honestly say Sunday was one of the worst days for quite a few years. All I could do was lie on my bed and rest, I hate days like that, yes because of the pain, but also because i get so bored just lying in bed. But that was my Sunday.
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