The weekend before Christmas I slept and slept almost like a hibernation for a weekend, but I did feel better for it by Monday. Tuesday Bob and I went to Telford to finish the Christmas shopping, we had a lovely day, bought loads of goodies, had a nice lunch, talked about everything except us. Telford is good for me to go to the shopping centre is indoors and flat and there is a Debenhams! Bob has decided to come to my flat for Christmas dinner, so at least we will be together for some of Christmas day. I didn't sleep at all Tuesday night, mind worked overtime thinking about me and Bob and Christmas. Wednesday came and I knew something was wrong with me, my stomach just didn't feel right! By the time I got to work I felt worse, I just kept feeling sick. I know nobody likes being sick but I hate it, I'm a complete baby, I feel like I'm going to choke, and I can't breath so I panic when it happens. By 1.30pm my colleagues felt I should go home, I think I looked quite grey and maybe a shade of green too! I just made it to the flat and it started and didn't really finish till about 2 am. I didn't sleep at all and at 6.30am I looked on the computer for the first bus to Aberystwyth, it was 7.30am, I wasn't feeling sick any more so I got ready and caught the bus. At 8.15am I was in lidl's doing my veg shopping and it was great, really quiet, by the time I was coming out though the crowds had started, I treated myself to a cooked breakfast then went to Iceland store and bought more goodies. That's what I do when I'm depressed buy food! I have enough food till Easter! By the time i got back to my flat I was tired, so the rest of Thursday I slept. I woke early on Friday felt very stiff as I had slept over 12 hours and I was still in the same position when I woke that I had been when I got into bed. It took me a while to get up and get breakfast, Cath popped in on me and we exchanged gifts and chatted for a while. After she went I decided I needed a bath, so that took a while, getting in and out is so painful, but I do enjoy the soak especially if i put in epsom salts.
The Friday before Christmas is known as mad Friday and people go to the pubs to celebrate. Jon and Sarah had asked me to go, and I was looking forward to it. I got ready and met him at 3pm, he was with most of the mechanics from the town and his boss. We had a good time, Sarah met us at about 7pm, Jon was under the influence of alcohol by then! I was sober, I had been drinking rum and coke, but it is a drink that doesn't really affect me so I was okay. By 8pm I was tired so Sarah walked with me to the flat. By 8.30pm I was in bed!. Jon and sarah came in about 12.30am, I had woken a bit earlier, Jon was now sober!. We chatted had a cigarette and a cup of tea then went to bed.
Took me a while to get to sleep, I could hear the rain lashing down and then my brain started thinking!
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Monday, 12 December 2011
M.E.still sleeping, working and a weekend with Katie
Bob brought Bobby to my flat on Monday evening and I was told all about the concert, Bobby was on a "high" and excited, but not looking forward to his journey back to Scotland. We all had dinner together before he left. He caught the 8pm train from Machynlleth to Birmingham. About 8.30pm my phoned rang and it showed it was "Bobby" calling, well all I could understand was their was an emergency and he was upset and angry and I was tired, I had planned an early night.
Bobby had got his bus ticket out, which was from Birmingham to Aberdeen and looked at it and noticed he had made a mistake, the bus ticket was only valid for the previous night, he should have stayed in Birmingham after the concert and boarded the bus at 2.30am. Of course the ticket office was now closed, their was nothing anyone could do. Bobby was panicking and angry, wondering how he was going to get back. It was a freezing cold night. He stayed in the train station in Birmingham for a while, but he didn't feel safe their. So he went to the bus station he usually caught his bus from, the bus company he had gone with this time had just dropped him a bus stop and had told him this was where he should be for catching the bus back. So at about 1.45am he leaves the bus stop for the 30minute walk to the bus stop. He thought he could still catch this bus if he explained what had happened and he would pay for a new ticket. When he got to the bus stop another man was their and it turned out that he should have gone back the previous night also. Eventually the bus came, they were not allowed to get on, so another frantic phone, by this time I was frantic too worrying about him wandering around in the middle of the night in Birmingham. So I told him to go back to the bus station, at least he would be warm and he could sort out another bus to get back. He got a bus about6.30am to Manchester then had to wait a couple of hours then he got a bus to Aberdeen. He arrived at 10.30pm! A,very long journey back not one that I could have done.
The rest of the week passed as I slept and worked, then it got to Friday and I left work midday caught the bus to Aberystwyth, had a coffee and 2 cigarettes before getting the bus to Carmarthen.As usual I fell asleep. I always do when travelling lol. The bus arrived at 4.40pm Katie would be picking me up at 6.00pm so I went and had a look at the big shops that I don't get to see very often. I breathed in slowly when I entered my favourite shop....Debenhams.. I love the smell of all the perfumes... its my kind of shop! I had been buying things on line so I had £15 on my beauty card to spend so I headed straight to the perfumery counters...found one I liked straight away.. Lady Millions and their was 15% off so I had a bottle of lovely perfume for £13 my present to me for Christmas and what a bargain. I needed a coffee and a sit down after that excitement and I didn't want to spoil it for me and Katie as we were coming back to the shops tomorrow afternoon. It was nearly 6pm so went to meet my daughter. He bump was the first thing I saw, Charlie has been doing a lot of growing inside his mum tummy. We soon arrived at hers and Ross's new house. Its lovely and big with a gorgeous kitchen, large lounge with a conservatory. Then I saw the new sofa's, oh they are so comfortable and snug and then the huge marble table, what a statement piece it is... wow is all I could say. Ross came home from work got changed and he decided he was going to cook us a lovely dinner which he did and we were all stuffed afterwards. I sat on the sofa, its one of these corner ones and could have stayed their all night. We chatted for a while, then bed for all of us. Ross went to London in the morning. Me and Katie just pottered for a while then she put her tree up to surprise Matthew when he comes home from his Dads tomorrow. About 3,30pm me and Katie decided to go shopping our first shop... Debenhams I found two aftershave I liked for Bob but couldn't make my mind up. So will take him to Telford.We went other shops, Katie fell in love with these tartan boot slippers so I brought them for her to go with her other Christmas present which is perfume Poison Midnight, Katie found some presents she wanted for Ross so it was a good afternoon shopping, But she had to have them when she got home cos she hadn't got any slippers. I wrapped Ross his presents while Katie started doing dinner.Then she started thinking about his birthday in July, it took us till nearly 3am to finally do everything on the net. She was really pleased with what she did.
Well I didn't wake till midday, but I felt happy because I had bought Bob a lovely present too and Katie thought he would like it.
At 4pm Katie went to collect Matthew and said she would be back at 6pm , I thought I would have a rest as I had a 2 hour 30min journey to do myself later, so I rested on the lovely sofa.
Soon it was nearly 6pm and Katie and Matthew were back, think he was shocked to see me their, we had big hugs but he was most insistent that when I went again it had to be a weekend when he was their!
I caught my bus back to Aber, and sat thinking about my lovely weekend, in March Charlie will arrive and I will have two Grandsons, Jon and Sarah were waiting for me in Aber to take me back to my flat, they were staying the night. It was midnight when we went to bed cos of chatting lol, mainly about the wedding in September, we are all so excited about it now, so how we will all be by then I don't know.
Monday I dragged myself out of bed and woke Jon and Sarah as they had work too. I felt tired, not ready for work at all, but I had to go in so I had to get a move on, Thankfully work was quite quiet for a change. Bob came to the flat later as he had borrowed Jon's car, all of us felt like any early night.
Early night we got in a way, then a family prob happened and we were then up most of the night. It was 10am before I got to bed. So Tuesday till about 10pm did not exist for me, nor I think for Bob.Wednesday and Thursday I was like a Zombie, worked Wednesday high on tramadol, so glad we were not too busy. Thursday I didn't see much of it at all. By Friday morning I needed to wash my hair, to most people this is easy, they just stand in shower and shampoo hair. Well my arms felt like lead weights, I have to wash my hair over the sink with a jug! cos I haven't got a shower. I managed, it wasn't the best but it had to do. At least it would look better for work and I would feel better myself. Friday was slow in work too, it usually quietens down just before Christmas, so 2.30pm we closed and I went to pay bills then back to the flat , had a chat with Bob and Jon then cooked a salmon in a bag dinner from Iceland, which actually was quite nice.
Bobby had got his bus ticket out, which was from Birmingham to Aberdeen and looked at it and noticed he had made a mistake, the bus ticket was only valid for the previous night, he should have stayed in Birmingham after the concert and boarded the bus at 2.30am. Of course the ticket office was now closed, their was nothing anyone could do. Bobby was panicking and angry, wondering how he was going to get back. It was a freezing cold night. He stayed in the train station in Birmingham for a while, but he didn't feel safe their. So he went to the bus station he usually caught his bus from, the bus company he had gone with this time had just dropped him a bus stop and had told him this was where he should be for catching the bus back. So at about 1.45am he leaves the bus stop for the 30minute walk to the bus stop. He thought he could still catch this bus if he explained what had happened and he would pay for a new ticket. When he got to the bus stop another man was their and it turned out that he should have gone back the previous night also. Eventually the bus came, they were not allowed to get on, so another frantic phone, by this time I was frantic too worrying about him wandering around in the middle of the night in Birmingham. So I told him to go back to the bus station, at least he would be warm and he could sort out another bus to get back. He got a bus about6.30am to Manchester then had to wait a couple of hours then he got a bus to Aberdeen. He arrived at 10.30pm! A,very long journey back not one that I could have done.
The rest of the week passed as I slept and worked, then it got to Friday and I left work midday caught the bus to Aberystwyth, had a coffee and 2 cigarettes before getting the bus to Carmarthen.As usual I fell asleep. I always do when travelling lol. The bus arrived at 4.40pm Katie would be picking me up at 6.00pm so I went and had a look at the big shops that I don't get to see very often. I breathed in slowly when I entered my favourite shop....Debenhams.. I love the smell of all the perfumes... its my kind of shop! I had been buying things on line so I had £15 on my beauty card to spend so I headed straight to the perfumery counters...found one I liked straight away.. Lady Millions and their was 15% off so I had a bottle of lovely perfume for £13 my present to me for Christmas and what a bargain. I needed a coffee and a sit down after that excitement and I didn't want to spoil it for me and Katie as we were coming back to the shops tomorrow afternoon. It was nearly 6pm so went to meet my daughter. He bump was the first thing I saw, Charlie has been doing a lot of growing inside his mum tummy. We soon arrived at hers and Ross's new house. Its lovely and big with a gorgeous kitchen, large lounge with a conservatory. Then I saw the new sofa's, oh they are so comfortable and snug and then the huge marble table, what a statement piece it is... wow is all I could say. Ross came home from work got changed and he decided he was going to cook us a lovely dinner which he did and we were all stuffed afterwards. I sat on the sofa, its one of these corner ones and could have stayed their all night. We chatted for a while, then bed for all of us. Ross went to London in the morning. Me and Katie just pottered for a while then she put her tree up to surprise Matthew when he comes home from his Dads tomorrow. About 3,30pm me and Katie decided to go shopping our first shop... Debenhams I found two aftershave I liked for Bob but couldn't make my mind up. So will take him to Telford.We went other shops, Katie fell in love with these tartan boot slippers so I brought them for her to go with her other Christmas present which is perfume Poison Midnight, Katie found some presents she wanted for Ross so it was a good afternoon shopping, But she had to have them when she got home cos she hadn't got any slippers. I wrapped Ross his presents while Katie started doing dinner.Then she started thinking about his birthday in July, it took us till nearly 3am to finally do everything on the net. She was really pleased with what she did.
Well I didn't wake till midday, but I felt happy because I had bought Bob a lovely present too and Katie thought he would like it.
At 4pm Katie went to collect Matthew and said she would be back at 6pm , I thought I would have a rest as I had a 2 hour 30min journey to do myself later, so I rested on the lovely sofa.
Soon it was nearly 6pm and Katie and Matthew were back, think he was shocked to see me their, we had big hugs but he was most insistent that when I went again it had to be a weekend when he was their!
I caught my bus back to Aber, and sat thinking about my lovely weekend, in March Charlie will arrive and I will have two Grandsons, Jon and Sarah were waiting for me in Aber to take me back to my flat, they were staying the night. It was midnight when we went to bed cos of chatting lol, mainly about the wedding in September, we are all so excited about it now, so how we will all be by then I don't know.
Monday I dragged myself out of bed and woke Jon and Sarah as they had work too. I felt tired, not ready for work at all, but I had to go in so I had to get a move on, Thankfully work was quite quiet for a change. Bob came to the flat later as he had borrowed Jon's car, all of us felt like any early night.
Early night we got in a way, then a family prob happened and we were then up most of the night. It was 10am before I got to bed. So Tuesday till about 10pm did not exist for me, nor I think for Bob.Wednesday and Thursday I was like a Zombie, worked Wednesday high on tramadol, so glad we were not too busy. Thursday I didn't see much of it at all. By Friday morning I needed to wash my hair, to most people this is easy, they just stand in shower and shampoo hair. Well my arms felt like lead weights, I have to wash my hair over the sink with a jug! cos I haven't got a shower. I managed, it wasn't the best but it had to do. At least it would look better for work and I would feel better myself. Friday was slow in work too, it usually quietens down just before Christmas, so 2.30pm we closed and I went to pay bills then back to the flat , had a chat with Bob and Jon then cooked a salmon in a bag dinner from Iceland, which actually was quite nice.
Monday, 5 December 2011
One or two good bits then not so good for M.E
Monday 21st November I just about made it into work, the weekend had passed to quickly I felt I hadn't recharged my batteries even though I had mostly slept. Work was busy and I felt exhausted afterwards and went to bed for a few hours. When I woke I felt hungry, which is unusual for me on a work day because I have lunch I don't feel hungry in the evening, sometimes I may have the odd chunky kitkat! So I had pate and crackers tomatoes ands red and yellow peppers washed down with a glass of red wine.
Then went to bed.
Tuesday I spent a lovely day with Bob in Aberystwyth and had another custard slice in the Penguin cafe, when we got back to my flat we had some of the soup we had made earlier in the month. I was tired when he left and I knew we had another busy day at work with another Charity stall on the market, so I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night had the dreaded sweats, so when I got up at 7.am I looked worse than I did when i went too bed.
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, just because I needed to hurry! I met Brenda at work at 8.30am and we got everything together for the stall. We had a raffle the same as the week before, some of the local businesses had been very kind and donated prizes. The previous week we raised £167 so I was hoping to raise more.
It was quite a cold day, so I'm told! Me with my temperature problems didn't feel cold at all, I was boiling as always. It was a good day, lots of people stopping by the stall and we raised £200, so we were delighted.
I did feel very stiff and sore by the 2.30 so we decided to stop and pack up then draw the raffle.
I had to go and pay some bills before I went back to my flat, once I got back I didn't even have a drink I just lay down on my bed. I woke at 4.30am still clothed and in agony from head to toe.
I got undressed, made myself a drink and had a cigarette and took some painkillers.
Thursday passed as a blur I vaguely remember having a cuppa with Bob, but as for the rest of the day I was oblivious.
Friday no way could I go to work, I just about managed to text a colleague that I wouldn't be in. I texted Bob to tell him I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even get out of bed. I had been looking forward to going to a friends for the night, we play scrabble, drink wine and have a laugh, but I had to cancel on that too.
Bob came gave me my tablets and made me a drink, I didn't have the energy to eat any food. I just slept and slept. Saturday was much the same, only waking for a drink and tablets.I was in agony with my back and legs, had been since Wednesday. Cath got the key to my flat from work and came to see me, made me a drink and we chatted for a while and she took the staff lottery syndicate tickets as i wasn't able to go to the shop. After she went I went back to bed and slept till Sunday morning. When I woke Sunday morning I knew I needed a wash badly! When I get as bad as this having a wash is the last thing on my mind! I got into the bathroom and sat on my stool and washed where I could get too, wrapped a towel round me to dry myself and then cleaned my teeth with my electric toothbrush. I did smell better afterwards but having a wash and putting on clean pyjamas wore me out, so back to bed I went. Sunday afternoon I woke and I decided I needed to strip my bed and put fresh bedding on the bed. I did bits of it over two or three hours, this is a job I hate but have to do it more than most because of the sweating.
Monday again I could not go to work, I spent most of the day staring up at the ceiling or sleeping, I was so fed up of being in pain and being in bed, to me it seemed I had been their for ages. My legs were starting to feel a bit better but my back was still causing me a great deal of pain and discomfort, the only time I could get comfortable for a while was when I was lying down, I couldn't sit for more than 6 or 7 minutes without the pain starting, so no computer, no tv, not that I could really concentrate on anything because of the pain. Tramadol was becoming my best friend again!. Bob came to see how I was doing and I managed to stand while he quickly washed my hair. Its horrible not being able to do the most basic of things, it makes me tearful and sad and frightened for the future.
Tuesday I should have been having my hair done, guess what, Bob had to go and cancel for me. I love having my hair done, I love being pampered full stop! Most of Tuesday was a blur, I actually got up at about 5pm, had a drink with Bob, then Jon came and we chatted for a while. When they both went I had some pate with crackers and a couple of satsumas. For my own sanity I needed to go to work on Wednesday, so I didn't do much that evening just caught up on some of the Emmerdale's that I had missed. Took my night time tablets with painkillers at 9pm and went to bed. I slept till 3.15pm woke because i needed a drink so I had a cigarette too then went back to bed. The alarm woke me at 7am and I started to get ready for work, I was slow to get ready but I managed and I got to work just before 9am, dripping with sweat but happy that I had made it into work. Colleagues commented that I shouldn't have come in and that they could see I was struggling..... yes I was, but I needed to be in work trying to live a normal life as I was starting to get depressed, I could feel it creeping upon me. I'd had some stupid thoughts enter my head and I didn't want to start going down that road. We had such a busy day I was exhausted by the time I got to my flat, no time for a drink or cigarette I just needed to get too bed. I slept till 4.30am Thursday, I woke with the shakes and sweats I hadn't eaten or drank anything since Wednesday lunch time, so it was a can of coke and I finished the pate with some crackers, I felt like I was going to pass out, soon after drinking the coke the feeling passed and I just sat and relaxed for a while. I had planned to go to Aberystwyth with Bob on Thursday but again that was cancelled, I slept most of the day. Bob and Jon came early evening informing me that Bobby was now coming to my flat at 9am Saturday morning, they had been going to get him when he got to Birmingham but now they realised he could get a train to Machynlleth. They were all excited as they were going to see Bryan Adams in concert in Birmingham on the Sunday and also Richard was meeting up with them for a few hours. I went to bed early Friday evening as I felt totally drained of energy. and I knew Bobby would be at my door just gone 9am full of excitement!
I kept waking up all through the night thinking I had heard my doorbell ring. I got up just before 8.30am so as I would be half awake for when Bobby arrived, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes later the doorbell did ring, Bobby had arrived. He had travelled since 7pm the previous night by coach then train and he wasn't even tired. I wish I had half of his energy! We chatted for a while and I stayed up another hour before I had to go back to bed for a couple of hours. Bobby was fine, he was texting his friends and on the computer and watching tv. A couple of hours later I got up again, we chatted for a while then I got ready and we went for a walk round town, Bobby got his haircut, then we went back to the flat. We met Jon later in a pub, we had a drink then they boys went off to Cemmaes to stay with Bob.
It was nice seeing two of my boys together and I wished I could have gone with them to Birmingham then I would of seen the three boys together.
Sunday I woke feeling like I hadn't slept, I slept most of the day, just getting up for a drink and tablets and the occasional cigarette. I thought of Bob and the boys and I did have a tear or two because one of Bryan Adams songs, Everything I do, I do for you is a song that means alot to me and Bob.
Then went to bed.
Tuesday I spent a lovely day with Bob in Aberystwyth and had another custard slice in the Penguin cafe, when we got back to my flat we had some of the soup we had made earlier in the month. I was tired when he left and I knew we had another busy day at work with another Charity stall on the market, so I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night had the dreaded sweats, so when I got up at 7.am I looked worse than I did when i went too bed.
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, just because I needed to hurry! I met Brenda at work at 8.30am and we got everything together for the stall. We had a raffle the same as the week before, some of the local businesses had been very kind and donated prizes. The previous week we raised £167 so I was hoping to raise more.
It was quite a cold day, so I'm told! Me with my temperature problems didn't feel cold at all, I was boiling as always. It was a good day, lots of people stopping by the stall and we raised £200, so we were delighted.
I did feel very stiff and sore by the 2.30 so we decided to stop and pack up then draw the raffle.
I had to go and pay some bills before I went back to my flat, once I got back I didn't even have a drink I just lay down on my bed. I woke at 4.30am still clothed and in agony from head to toe.
I got undressed, made myself a drink and had a cigarette and took some painkillers.
Thursday passed as a blur I vaguely remember having a cuppa with Bob, but as for the rest of the day I was oblivious.
Friday no way could I go to work, I just about managed to text a colleague that I wouldn't be in. I texted Bob to tell him I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even get out of bed. I had been looking forward to going to a friends for the night, we play scrabble, drink wine and have a laugh, but I had to cancel on that too.
Bob came gave me my tablets and made me a drink, I didn't have the energy to eat any food. I just slept and slept. Saturday was much the same, only waking for a drink and tablets.I was in agony with my back and legs, had been since Wednesday. Cath got the key to my flat from work and came to see me, made me a drink and we chatted for a while and she took the staff lottery syndicate tickets as i wasn't able to go to the shop. After she went I went back to bed and slept till Sunday morning. When I woke Sunday morning I knew I needed a wash badly! When I get as bad as this having a wash is the last thing on my mind! I got into the bathroom and sat on my stool and washed where I could get too, wrapped a towel round me to dry myself and then cleaned my teeth with my electric toothbrush. I did smell better afterwards but having a wash and putting on clean pyjamas wore me out, so back to bed I went. Sunday afternoon I woke and I decided I needed to strip my bed and put fresh bedding on the bed. I did bits of it over two or three hours, this is a job I hate but have to do it more than most because of the sweating.
Monday again I could not go to work, I spent most of the day staring up at the ceiling or sleeping, I was so fed up of being in pain and being in bed, to me it seemed I had been their for ages. My legs were starting to feel a bit better but my back was still causing me a great deal of pain and discomfort, the only time I could get comfortable for a while was when I was lying down, I couldn't sit for more than 6 or 7 minutes without the pain starting, so no computer, no tv, not that I could really concentrate on anything because of the pain. Tramadol was becoming my best friend again!. Bob came to see how I was doing and I managed to stand while he quickly washed my hair. Its horrible not being able to do the most basic of things, it makes me tearful and sad and frightened for the future.
Tuesday I should have been having my hair done, guess what, Bob had to go and cancel for me. I love having my hair done, I love being pampered full stop! Most of Tuesday was a blur, I actually got up at about 5pm, had a drink with Bob, then Jon came and we chatted for a while. When they both went I had some pate with crackers and a couple of satsumas. For my own sanity I needed to go to work on Wednesday, so I didn't do much that evening just caught up on some of the Emmerdale's that I had missed. Took my night time tablets with painkillers at 9pm and went to bed. I slept till 3.15pm woke because i needed a drink so I had a cigarette too then went back to bed. The alarm woke me at 7am and I started to get ready for work, I was slow to get ready but I managed and I got to work just before 9am, dripping with sweat but happy that I had made it into work. Colleagues commented that I shouldn't have come in and that they could see I was struggling..... yes I was, but I needed to be in work trying to live a normal life as I was starting to get depressed, I could feel it creeping upon me. I'd had some stupid thoughts enter my head and I didn't want to start going down that road. We had such a busy day I was exhausted by the time I got to my flat, no time for a drink or cigarette I just needed to get too bed. I slept till 4.30am Thursday, I woke with the shakes and sweats I hadn't eaten or drank anything since Wednesday lunch time, so it was a can of coke and I finished the pate with some crackers, I felt like I was going to pass out, soon after drinking the coke the feeling passed and I just sat and relaxed for a while. I had planned to go to Aberystwyth with Bob on Thursday but again that was cancelled, I slept most of the day. Bob and Jon came early evening informing me that Bobby was now coming to my flat at 9am Saturday morning, they had been going to get him when he got to Birmingham but now they realised he could get a train to Machynlleth. They were all excited as they were going to see Bryan Adams in concert in Birmingham on the Sunday and also Richard was meeting up with them for a few hours. I went to bed early Friday evening as I felt totally drained of energy. and I knew Bobby would be at my door just gone 9am full of excitement!
I kept waking up all through the night thinking I had heard my doorbell ring. I got up just before 8.30am so as I would be half awake for when Bobby arrived, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes later the doorbell did ring, Bobby had arrived. He had travelled since 7pm the previous night by coach then train and he wasn't even tired. I wish I had half of his energy! We chatted for a while and I stayed up another hour before I had to go back to bed for a couple of hours. Bobby was fine, he was texting his friends and on the computer and watching tv. A couple of hours later I got up again, we chatted for a while then I got ready and we went for a walk round town, Bobby got his haircut, then we went back to the flat. We met Jon later in a pub, we had a drink then they boys went off to Cemmaes to stay with Bob.
It was nice seeing two of my boys together and I wished I could have gone with them to Birmingham then I would of seen the three boys together.
Sunday I woke feeling like I hadn't slept, I slept most of the day, just getting up for a drink and tablets and the occasional cigarette. I thought of Bob and the boys and I did have a tear or two because one of Bryan Adams songs, Everything I do, I do for you is a song that means alot to me and Bob.
Monday, 21 November 2011
A Bad week for M.E.
I think last week was my worst week in a long long time physically and mentally.After work on Monday I just collapsed in bed and stayed their apart from getting a drink a couple of times.Tuesday I woke with sweats and shakes. Bob came over to do something on my computer, I did get up and have a drink with him but apart from that I stayed in bed till 4pm. When i got up I was drenched and so was my bed. Bob washed my hair for me and I changed the bedding. He went at 5.30pm, I had a bowl of Alpen and went back to bed till Wednesday morning.
I woke again drenched so had to wash my hair before work, i just pulled the duvet back and opened the window so it would freshen my bed. I can't keep up with all the washing of bedding and clothes.
The Advice Centre was busy and we also had The Charity stall on the market, we did a raffle and it went well. I got home from work Wednesday at 5pm, I was exhausted, plus I had family concerns which were and still are a worry to me. I just wish I could clear my mind so it rested!.I had a sandwich and a drink and a couple of cigarette's and went to bed, however it wasn't a rest full sleep, I kept waking from nightmares that seemed so real it took me a few minutes to realise they were only dreams. I felt very fatigued physically and totally drained mentally.
Thursday day time I just slept, Bob came over, I think he was worried about me, he made soup for us and I got up, had a wash, he washed my hair again for me. I went to a friends house for an hour or so in the evening, she was having a bodyshop party. I did enjoy it once I got their, I just felt so tired.
Thursday night was the same, I kept having nightmares and waking dripping with sweat and with the shakes, in the end I got up at about 5pm, as I couldn't stand it anymore. My legs and arms hurt and ached, I felt like I had been thrashing about about during the nightmares.
By the time I went to work on Friday I felt as though I should be going back to bed. To make matters worse, in the afternoon we had loads of clients, so we were late finishing.
When I got back to the flat I had a drink and a cigarette and went to bed, I didn't wake till 4.30 Saturday morning, then I just had a drink and tablets and slept again till the afternoon. My phone rang twice and I couldn't be bothered to answer it, I just wanted to be left alone to sleep!.
Sunday was the same I only got up to have a drink, tablets and cigarette's, I did see Jon and Sarah for 30mins, they popped in as they had come to Machynlleth to look at a flat.
After that I went back to bed.
I had made plans for my days off, but I did none of them. Last week was what I call a Black week
I hope this week is going to be better.
I woke again drenched so had to wash my hair before work, i just pulled the duvet back and opened the window so it would freshen my bed. I can't keep up with all the washing of bedding and clothes.
The Advice Centre was busy and we also had The Charity stall on the market, we did a raffle and it went well. I got home from work Wednesday at 5pm, I was exhausted, plus I had family concerns which were and still are a worry to me. I just wish I could clear my mind so it rested!.I had a sandwich and a drink and a couple of cigarette's and went to bed, however it wasn't a rest full sleep, I kept waking from nightmares that seemed so real it took me a few minutes to realise they were only dreams. I felt very fatigued physically and totally drained mentally.
Thursday day time I just slept, Bob came over, I think he was worried about me, he made soup for us and I got up, had a wash, he washed my hair again for me. I went to a friends house for an hour or so in the evening, she was having a bodyshop party. I did enjoy it once I got their, I just felt so tired.
Thursday night was the same, I kept having nightmares and waking dripping with sweat and with the shakes, in the end I got up at about 5pm, as I couldn't stand it anymore. My legs and arms hurt and ached, I felt like I had been thrashing about about during the nightmares.
By the time I went to work on Friday I felt as though I should be going back to bed. To make matters worse, in the afternoon we had loads of clients, so we were late finishing.
When I got back to the flat I had a drink and a cigarette and went to bed, I didn't wake till 4.30 Saturday morning, then I just had a drink and tablets and slept again till the afternoon. My phone rang twice and I couldn't be bothered to answer it, I just wanted to be left alone to sleep!.
Sunday was the same I only got up to have a drink, tablets and cigarette's, I did see Jon and Sarah for 30mins, they popped in as they had come to Machynlleth to look at a flat.
After that I went back to bed.
I had made plans for my days off, but I did none of them. Last week was what I call a Black week
I hope this week is going to be better.
Monday, 14 November 2011
Not the good weekend I had wanted for M.E
Saturday, my body or brain did not want to get up, I think my body gets used to my routine and know it can do nothing when I'm not at work! Though after a while my brain did kick in because I had promised Bobby I would go to Aberystwyth to collect his Christmas present to his dad. I tried to fool my body and let it have a couple more hours rest.
I got up at 9.00am instead of 7.00am which I do on a work day. It was a lovely sunny bright day and I was looking forward to going to Aberystwyth, had it all planned what I was going to do and which shops I was going in.
I got ready and got on the 10.30am bus which would get me into Aber at 11.30am. Once on the bus its not long before I'm falling asleep! Whenever I travel in a car or bus I'm asleep within 5 minutes! However each time the bus stops my eyes sort of open and I realise I'm not their yet so off I go again!
Once I get their I need to have a strong coffee to try and wake me up. I decide to sit outside a cafe so I can have a couple of cigerettes while I people watch for half and hour or so.
I could have fallen asleep sat their, but I made myself get up and go and get the present and blank dvds that Bob wanted.
Two shops and I was done in, I knew I had to get back to the bus stop, my legs didn't want to work so it was a slow process, by the time I had got their I was dripping in sweat, hair was stuck to my head and face, luckily their was a seat left so at least I could sit down.
People looked and stared, but not one of them asked if I was okay. I could feel myself getting upset and was biting the side of my mouth so I wouldn't cry and be more of an exhabition show.
The bus came and I got on, on the way back I was in to much pain with my legs and back to sleep.
Once I got to Machynlleth I sat on a bench having a cigerette, people watching while I waited for friends, Nicky and Charm, didn't have to wait too long, Nicky looked great she had been to have her hair done and had some lovely colours put in. We had a few laughs, Charm wanted to go to the conker night, that night, cos last year she came second and to prove it Nicky stated that also had bruises down her arm from where the conker hit her, so good luck to Charm.
We chatted for about an hour and it cheered me up, but by then I was so tired. I got back to the flat about 2.30pm and went and got into bed.
I woke a couple of hours later took my quilt and pillow in the lounge and lay on the sofa waiting for the football to start.
I had one eye open the other closed and was listening to the footbal, I did wake up a bit more when Englands Frank Lampard scored. I needed a cup of tea and a cigerette after that shock. I had a bowl of Alpen cereal, that was the first thing I had eaten that day.
Once the game ended I had another cigerette and tablets and painkillers and went to be. I woke about 3.am dripping and shaking, so made a cup of tea and a slice of toast with peanut butter spread all over it, was quite nice!. I got in the other side of the bed as my side was soaked.I slept till 10.30am, I got out of bed, had some Alpen, cup of tea and a couple of ciggerettes, I felt like I'd been to an allnight party and then crawled, literally back into bed. I stayed their till 3.30pm. I had to get myself up whether I wanted to or not because I was desperate for a bath. I stripped my bed as the bath was filling up and opened the bedroom window wide to let in some fresh air!.
Sunday was turning into a not so good day for me, no energy, smelly and I need to get myself in the bath and out again. I managed sort of but hurt my back in the process. I did feel better and smelled a lot nicer, but it had taken so much energy from me. I just found a huge towel, wrapped it round me and watched TV for a few minutes. I knew I had to make my bed up so I started slowly, first doing all 4 pillow cases and the bottom sheet, that was enough for while. I needed to rest before I got the duvet cover on the duvet. Its things like this that get me mad, I used to do all this so easily and now I have to rest and do it in stages. I did the duvet but by the time it was done I was dripping with sweat, my stuck to my face and the muscles in my arms hurting like hell!
I had a drink took my night time tablets and painkillers had a cigerette and went to bed. It was one of those nights where if I had stayed awake I would have got mad at myself.
Luckily for me sleep won, and I woke just before the alarm on Monday morning.
I got up at 9.00am instead of 7.00am which I do on a work day. It was a lovely sunny bright day and I was looking forward to going to Aberystwyth, had it all planned what I was going to do and which shops I was going in.
I got ready and got on the 10.30am bus which would get me into Aber at 11.30am. Once on the bus its not long before I'm falling asleep! Whenever I travel in a car or bus I'm asleep within 5 minutes! However each time the bus stops my eyes sort of open and I realise I'm not their yet so off I go again!
Once I get their I need to have a strong coffee to try and wake me up. I decide to sit outside a cafe so I can have a couple of cigerettes while I people watch for half and hour or so.
I could have fallen asleep sat their, but I made myself get up and go and get the present and blank dvds that Bob wanted.
Two shops and I was done in, I knew I had to get back to the bus stop, my legs didn't want to work so it was a slow process, by the time I had got their I was dripping in sweat, hair was stuck to my head and face, luckily their was a seat left so at least I could sit down.
People looked and stared, but not one of them asked if I was okay. I could feel myself getting upset and was biting the side of my mouth so I wouldn't cry and be more of an exhabition show.
The bus came and I got on, on the way back I was in to much pain with my legs and back to sleep.
Once I got to Machynlleth I sat on a bench having a cigerette, people watching while I waited for friends, Nicky and Charm, didn't have to wait too long, Nicky looked great she had been to have her hair done and had some lovely colours put in. We had a few laughs, Charm wanted to go to the conker night, that night, cos last year she came second and to prove it Nicky stated that also had bruises down her arm from where the conker hit her, so good luck to Charm.
We chatted for about an hour and it cheered me up, but by then I was so tired. I got back to the flat about 2.30pm and went and got into bed.
I woke a couple of hours later took my quilt and pillow in the lounge and lay on the sofa waiting for the football to start.
I had one eye open the other closed and was listening to the footbal, I did wake up a bit more when Englands Frank Lampard scored. I needed a cup of tea and a cigerette after that shock. I had a bowl of Alpen cereal, that was the first thing I had eaten that day.
Once the game ended I had another cigerette and tablets and painkillers and went to be. I woke about 3.am dripping and shaking, so made a cup of tea and a slice of toast with peanut butter spread all over it, was quite nice!. I got in the other side of the bed as my side was soaked.I slept till 10.30am, I got out of bed, had some Alpen, cup of tea and a couple of ciggerettes, I felt like I'd been to an allnight party and then crawled, literally back into bed. I stayed their till 3.30pm. I had to get myself up whether I wanted to or not because I was desperate for a bath. I stripped my bed as the bath was filling up and opened the bedroom window wide to let in some fresh air!.
Sunday was turning into a not so good day for me, no energy, smelly and I need to get myself in the bath and out again. I managed sort of but hurt my back in the process. I did feel better and smelled a lot nicer, but it had taken so much energy from me. I just found a huge towel, wrapped it round me and watched TV for a few minutes. I knew I had to make my bed up so I started slowly, first doing all 4 pillow cases and the bottom sheet, that was enough for while. I needed to rest before I got the duvet cover on the duvet. Its things like this that get me mad, I used to do all this so easily and now I have to rest and do it in stages. I did the duvet but by the time it was done I was dripping with sweat, my stuck to my face and the muscles in my arms hurting like hell!
I had a drink took my night time tablets and painkillers had a cigerette and went to bed. It was one of those nights where if I had stayed awake I would have got mad at myself.
Luckily for me sleep won, and I woke just before the alarm on Monday morning.
Friday, 11 November 2011
M.E. and a great end to a lovely week
Monday morning Bobby texted me at 6.30am to tell me he had arrived at Birmingham. I dozed off again till 7.00am then the alarm came to life making its awful noise, my body did not want to move so it was a struggle to get up, washed and dressed. After my breakfast and two cups of tea and two cigarettes I went to work.
I was excited about Bobby coming home and found myself clock watching most of the day. Eventually 2.30pm came and I left work and went back to my flat where Bobby and Bob were waiting for me.
Even at 23 years he still gives me a kiss and hug when he sees me, where ever we meet up and wouldn't be embarrassed if his friends were with him.
Later we went out with friends for a meal at the local Indian restaurant, it was a good night with good food and great company.
We all ate that much we could hardly move afterwards. We always have the poppadoms and pickles and sauces, then we three had the shish kebab starters, then i had Tandoori mixed grill with aloo gobi, Bobby had chicken balti and Bob had the chicken buna, we never look at the menu, we always have the same meal. I have been with friends and we had a banquet, which is a mixture of starters and three main courses different rices and nam breads.
Photo is of me and Bobby before going out for our meal.
Later friends took Bob back to Cemmaes and Booby stayed at my flat.
Bob and Bobby in the photo.
Bob came to the flat Tuesday morning and had quite a hard job of getting me and Bobby to up out of bed. Bobby and I and talked for a couple of hours so it was about 1.00am before we went to bed. We got up about 10.00am, but it was nearly midday before we went to Aberystwyth to do Christmas shopping. Because Bobby will be working Christmas we decided to get Bobby his presents and give them to him.
He chose a shirt from "Next" he didn't like any of the jeans so he got a pair he liked from "Burton's" We went to a lovely cafe and had the best custard slices ever. If any of you go to Aberystwyth pop into The Penguin Cafe and have a custard slice, they are gorgeous!
After going to two shops I was shattered so food shopping never happened. Bob drove us back to my flat and I went to bed. Bobby stayed with Bob in Cemmaes as they were spending Wednesday fishing. I only got up later for tablets and a drink, I slept all night and woke at 7.00am Wednesday. The shopping trip and going out for a meal had taken its toll, but I am still glad I went as I enjoyed it.
I woke with sore stiff muscles, which hurt like hell when I walked or moved my arms, my right ankle joint felt like it was going to crack when I put weight on it, it took me ages to get ready and to get to work, I got through it by taking more painkillers after two hours rather than waiting for four hours. I know that's not a good idea, but I couldn't cope with the pain. By the afternoon it had got easier to walk, so after work I visited my friend cath for a while, then Bob and Bobby came for me and we went to my flat. The flat was lovely and clean and smelled clean and fresh, my cleaner had been while I was working. Once a fortnight she cleans for two hours and I pay £16 I think its great because their is no way I could do it myself. Bobby had asked me what I wanted for Christmas, so I thought about it and decided on a foot spa. I really think I will use it a lot and hopefully my feet will enjoy it!
Bob took Bobby to the train station at 5.30, I didn't go as I was too tired and I get all emotional when he goes. I had a sandwich and went to bed. Bobby texted me when he got to Birmingham to say the bus had been delayed.
I got up about 3.00am Thursday morning and texted Bobby to where he was on his long journey back to Aberdeen. He wasn't happy as he hadn't long left Birmingham!. I had a drink, some painkillers and a couple of cigarettes and then went back to bed. Its as if my body knows when I have a day off from work, I didn't wake again till about midday, even then I had to force myself to get out of bed. I had to go out, to pay my rent and buy some food. I did this in a haze of "brain fog" got back to the flat, had a drink, some toast a cigarette and then went back to bed till about 6.30pm. I wasn't up for more than a couple of hours, I did manage to have an Epsom's salt bath and once I was dry I went back to bed. I rang bobby before I fell asleep and he told me that he hadn't got back to Aberdeen till 1.30pm and he had to go straight to work and was working till 9.00pm.
I think all the sleep did me good as I woke this morning before the alarm and I didn't have "brain fog" in fact I felt quite bright, washed my hair that stank of sweat, made my lunch, had a cigarette and an extra cup of tea before I left for work.
Work was great today, it started brilliantly, I opened the post, and I had to read the one letter again before I believed it. Since we went independent from being a Citizens Advice Bureaus we had not been funded by the local council. The letter that i had read twice was from Powys county council, stating that they were giving us £5000 for the rest of the financial year, and that they now recognised what we did for our community! In all my excitement, I mis dialled my bosses phone number twice before I got through to her. As the staff came in I told them all and showed the letter to each of them, the excitement just grew all day, by the time we closed I think most of us, not just me were shattered.
Bob was at the flat when I got in, and I told him the good news, he was thrilled for us too as he knows what a struggle it has been for us to get money to stay open.
He noticed my ankle was swollen so he massaged it for me and we chatted and laughed about some of the funny things our kids have done. It was a lovely couple of hours. Jon came for a coffee, he had been busy at the garage. Machynlleth had been busy all day as the big car rally had been on and is still going on tonight. Today has been a lovely day for a lot of us, wonder how the weekend is going to be?
I was excited about Bobby coming home and found myself clock watching most of the day. Eventually 2.30pm came and I left work and went back to my flat where Bobby and Bob were waiting for me.
Even at 23 years he still gives me a kiss and hug when he sees me, where ever we meet up and wouldn't be embarrassed if his friends were with him.
Later we went out with friends for a meal at the local Indian restaurant, it was a good night with good food and great company.
Photo is of me and Bobby before going out for our meal.
Bob and Bobby in the photo.
Bob came to the flat Tuesday morning and had quite a hard job of getting me and Bobby to up out of bed. Bobby and I and talked for a couple of hours so it was about 1.00am before we went to bed. We got up about 10.00am, but it was nearly midday before we went to Aberystwyth to do Christmas shopping. Because Bobby will be working Christmas we decided to get Bobby his presents and give them to him.
He chose a shirt from "Next" he didn't like any of the jeans so he got a pair he liked from "Burton's" We went to a lovely cafe and had the best custard slices ever. If any of you go to Aberystwyth pop into The Penguin Cafe and have a custard slice, they are gorgeous!
After going to two shops I was shattered so food shopping never happened. Bob drove us back to my flat and I went to bed. Bobby stayed with Bob in Cemmaes as they were spending Wednesday fishing. I only got up later for tablets and a drink, I slept all night and woke at 7.00am Wednesday. The shopping trip and going out for a meal had taken its toll, but I am still glad I went as I enjoyed it.
I woke with sore stiff muscles, which hurt like hell when I walked or moved my arms, my right ankle joint felt like it was going to crack when I put weight on it, it took me ages to get ready and to get to work, I got through it by taking more painkillers after two hours rather than waiting for four hours. I know that's not a good idea, but I couldn't cope with the pain. By the afternoon it had got easier to walk, so after work I visited my friend cath for a while, then Bob and Bobby came for me and we went to my flat. The flat was lovely and clean and smelled clean and fresh, my cleaner had been while I was working. Once a fortnight she cleans for two hours and I pay £16 I think its great because their is no way I could do it myself. Bobby had asked me what I wanted for Christmas, so I thought about it and decided on a foot spa. I really think I will use it a lot and hopefully my feet will enjoy it!
Bob took Bobby to the train station at 5.30, I didn't go as I was too tired and I get all emotional when he goes. I had a sandwich and went to bed. Bobby texted me when he got to Birmingham to say the bus had been delayed.
I got up about 3.00am Thursday morning and texted Bobby to where he was on his long journey back to Aberdeen. He wasn't happy as he hadn't long left Birmingham!. I had a drink, some painkillers and a couple of cigarettes and then went back to bed. Its as if my body knows when I have a day off from work, I didn't wake again till about midday, even then I had to force myself to get out of bed. I had to go out, to pay my rent and buy some food. I did this in a haze of "brain fog" got back to the flat, had a drink, some toast a cigarette and then went back to bed till about 6.30pm. I wasn't up for more than a couple of hours, I did manage to have an Epsom's salt bath and once I was dry I went back to bed. I rang bobby before I fell asleep and he told me that he hadn't got back to Aberdeen till 1.30pm and he had to go straight to work and was working till 9.00pm.
I think all the sleep did me good as I woke this morning before the alarm and I didn't have "brain fog" in fact I felt quite bright, washed my hair that stank of sweat, made my lunch, had a cigarette and an extra cup of tea before I left for work.
Work was great today, it started brilliantly, I opened the post, and I had to read the one letter again before I believed it. Since we went independent from being a Citizens Advice Bureaus we had not been funded by the local council. The letter that i had read twice was from Powys county council, stating that they were giving us £5000 for the rest of the financial year, and that they now recognised what we did for our community! In all my excitement, I mis dialled my bosses phone number twice before I got through to her. As the staff came in I told them all and showed the letter to each of them, the excitement just grew all day, by the time we closed I think most of us, not just me were shattered.
Bob was at the flat when I got in, and I told him the good news, he was thrilled for us too as he knows what a struggle it has been for us to get money to stay open.
He noticed my ankle was swollen so he massaged it for me and we chatted and laughed about some of the funny things our kids have done. It was a lovely couple of hours. Jon came for a coffee, he had been busy at the garage. Machynlleth had been busy all day as the big car rally had been on and is still going on tonight. Today has been a lovely day for a lot of us, wonder how the weekend is going to be?
Monday, 7 November 2011
Stupid M.E
Saturday morning I woke with brain fog, aching sore muscles and I still felt tired. I got up just before 10.00am had a cup of tea and a couple of cigarettes and my tablets, then the phone rang, the person stated he was from Windows Care 2 and they had noticed that I had been having problems with my computer as I had sent in a number of Error reports, which I had, I remember quite a few times this pop up had appeared asking whether I wanted to send in an error report and I had clicked, send.
The man on the phone told me to hold down the windows flag on the keyboard and press the letter "R" at the same time. I did this and he told me to enter a sequence of numbers, again I did this, he was telling me that my computer was sending out malicious emails and was under threat from being hacked. I was quite shocked and worried. He then asked me how old my computer was and I told him 8 years. He then told me to look at the screen and asked could I see all the red alerts and yellow triangles which were viruses. I looked at it all and I panicked. He then told me that because I had had my computer 8 years, the Windows operating System was out of license and that I had to pay £80 to get a new one or my computer would not work, it would just stop. He wanted all my details, date of birth, telephone number etc and I gave it all to him. Then he said a "pop up" would appear when payment had gone through paypal, and this "pop up" was their technician "Bob Ainsley" and I could chat to him about any concerns I had. Well this "pop up" came and took over using my mouse and it was amazing to watch, he went through all my computer and he typed "how lucky I was that I hadn't been hacked" but now it would be okay and that I had to "run" this programme every 15 days , he even pointed the arrow of the mouse to the icon I had to click on to do it.
They finished and I thanked them so much and that I was so grateful to them for ringing!
I thought I had better ring Bob and tell him all about it, well I rang Bob but had brain fog and couldn't remember what I had rang him for. About an hour later I was getting dressed and Jon arrived, we decided to go and watch Machynlleth play football, they lost 5-1 and we left about 5 minutes before the end as I was cold and tired.
Jon then went off to see Bob in Cemmaes and I went to bed for a couple of hours.
I woke up feeling brighter than in the morning, maybe the fresh air had helped.
I then remembered I needed to ring Bob, well I only got half way through the first sentence and he said," love you have been hacked" I argued and told him I hadn't, that it was Windows that had rang me etc, I told him how I had given them all my details and just as I said that I too realised.....yes I had been done and I had helped them and I had paid them £80!
It was as if the brain fog had lifted and I saw the light! With that I couldn't help it I cried and cried. Bob rang me back, he had borrowed a friends car and was coming up to the flat, he told me to shut the computer down.
He told me I needed to use another computer and change all my passwords to everything, so I got the keys to work and we went over and changed everything, bank account passwords, credit card passwords, store accounts, email passwords everything. I felt sick and so stupid, before when anyone rang me wanting personal details I always told them to write to me and then I would think about it.
I couldn't believe I had done it. I was lucky. I rang the telephone number they gave me and an Asian speaking lady on a voice machine informed me that all advisers were busy, no name of the company or welcome to Blah Blah Blah.
I went to bed feeling very tired and worn out.
Bob then took my computer home and took everything off it, he found the programme Windows Care 2 had put on and he put a Nortons virus protection on then ran that programme, over 800 viruses were on it.
He had to take everything off my computer, think it took him quite a few hours.
So everyone beware of phone calls especially the ones that ask for all your details and I won't be clicking "send error reports" either.
Sunday I woke early before 7.00am had a drink and cigarette and went back to bed till 2.00pm. I woke dripping with sweat, the sheet on my bed was soaking wet, so I stripped it off the bed and left the window open to air the mattress. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I wished i had the energy to go out for a walk, but I didn't, all I managed to do was hang the sheet and duvet cover on the washing line. I lay on the sofa most of the day watching TV and sleeping. I thought of Bobby, he would be leaving Aberdeen soon and travelling through the night, he gets to Birmingham at 6.45am then waits for a train to Machynlleth, he gets here at 11.00am, I went to bed just after 9.00pm as I was so tired, I ached from head to foot. I woke at 3.00am desperate for a drink, so I had a can of coke to quench my thirst and decided to surprise Bobby by sending him a text. Can't wait to see him .
The man on the phone told me to hold down the windows flag on the keyboard and press the letter "R" at the same time. I did this and he told me to enter a sequence of numbers, again I did this, he was telling me that my computer was sending out malicious emails and was under threat from being hacked. I was quite shocked and worried. He then asked me how old my computer was and I told him 8 years. He then told me to look at the screen and asked could I see all the red alerts and yellow triangles which were viruses. I looked at it all and I panicked. He then told me that because I had had my computer 8 years, the Windows operating System was out of license and that I had to pay £80 to get a new one or my computer would not work, it would just stop. He wanted all my details, date of birth, telephone number etc and I gave it all to him. Then he said a "pop up" would appear when payment had gone through paypal, and this "pop up" was their technician "Bob Ainsley" and I could chat to him about any concerns I had. Well this "pop up" came and took over using my mouse and it was amazing to watch, he went through all my computer and he typed "how lucky I was that I hadn't been hacked" but now it would be okay and that I had to "run" this programme every 15 days , he even pointed the arrow of the mouse to the icon I had to click on to do it.
They finished and I thanked them so much and that I was so grateful to them for ringing!
I thought I had better ring Bob and tell him all about it, well I rang Bob but had brain fog and couldn't remember what I had rang him for. About an hour later I was getting dressed and Jon arrived, we decided to go and watch Machynlleth play football, they lost 5-1 and we left about 5 minutes before the end as I was cold and tired.
Jon then went off to see Bob in Cemmaes and I went to bed for a couple of hours.
I woke up feeling brighter than in the morning, maybe the fresh air had helped.
I then remembered I needed to ring Bob, well I only got half way through the first sentence and he said," love you have been hacked" I argued and told him I hadn't, that it was Windows that had rang me etc, I told him how I had given them all my details and just as I said that I too realised.....yes I had been done and I had helped them and I had paid them £80!
It was as if the brain fog had lifted and I saw the light! With that I couldn't help it I cried and cried. Bob rang me back, he had borrowed a friends car and was coming up to the flat, he told me to shut the computer down.
He told me I needed to use another computer and change all my passwords to everything, so I got the keys to work and we went over and changed everything, bank account passwords, credit card passwords, store accounts, email passwords everything. I felt sick and so stupid, before when anyone rang me wanting personal details I always told them to write to me and then I would think about it.
I couldn't believe I had done it. I was lucky. I rang the telephone number they gave me and an Asian speaking lady on a voice machine informed me that all advisers were busy, no name of the company or welcome to Blah Blah Blah.
I went to bed feeling very tired and worn out.
Bob then took my computer home and took everything off it, he found the programme Windows Care 2 had put on and he put a Nortons virus protection on then ran that programme, over 800 viruses were on it.
He had to take everything off my computer, think it took him quite a few hours.
So everyone beware of phone calls especially the ones that ask for all your details and I won't be clicking "send error reports" either.
Sunday I woke early before 7.00am had a drink and cigarette and went back to bed till 2.00pm. I woke dripping with sweat, the sheet on my bed was soaking wet, so I stripped it off the bed and left the window open to air the mattress. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I wished i had the energy to go out for a walk, but I didn't, all I managed to do was hang the sheet and duvet cover on the washing line. I lay on the sofa most of the day watching TV and sleeping. I thought of Bobby, he would be leaving Aberdeen soon and travelling through the night, he gets to Birmingham at 6.45am then waits for a train to Machynlleth, he gets here at 11.00am, I went to bed just after 9.00pm as I was so tired, I ached from head to foot. I woke at 3.00am desperate for a drink, so I had a can of coke to quench my thirst and decided to surprise Bobby by sending him a text. Can't wait to see him .
M.E and my bloody muscles!
Thursday I woke and didn't feel that good , even though I didn't have work I was up before 9.00am. I had planned to go to Aberystwyth, but didn't feel I would be able to manage on my own. My ankle joints felt like they were going to crack and I would have a sharp pain when I stood up and put my weight on them other than that I felt quite good for a change. I needed to go to the shops to go and buy one or two grocery items and wanted to have a mooch round the town if my ankle wasn't too bed.
Getting downstairs was quite difficult and painful, but I was determined to get out of the flat for a while.
I went and paid some bills and the rent and decided to go to the cafe in the park for a coffee.
After getting their my ankle joint was even more painful and then when I picked up my mug of coffee the muscle in my arm hurt and gave me a sharp pain, so I had to drink my coffee using my left hand, I then noticed my muscle in my left arm was swollen and quite warm and very sore if touched.
Getting back to the flat was a bit of a nightmare, every step i took hurt, I would of very much liked to have been "beamed up" like they used to do in Star Trek and be in my flat. It took about 40 minutes for me to get back. By then I was in agony and the sweat was pouring off me, the stairs didn't help either, at this point i just broke down crying, I'd really had enough now, I got my tablets, took some more painkillers and just lay on my bed. The friend came round, who's son had been buying "weed" I knew her reaction would be okay and when I told her she thanked me, they had already had suspicions and he had denied it. They knew that they wouldn't be able to stop him, but she could make him aware of the dangers. So basically that was my Thursday after she went I lay in bed and apart from getting up for a drink at about 7.30pm I spent the rest of the day night in bed.
Friday, I woke and felt so stiff almost rigid. It was very hard to get washed and dressed, the wash wasn't as good as it should of been and it took me along time to dress. Even my fingers were stiff and painful, so buttons were a no no, also a no no was make up and doing hair. So yes I went to work, I didn't even look in the mirror to see what I looked like! I had to delegate a lot of my work to colleagues, but they didn't mind, they know that I would only do that in exceptional circumstances. Cath a friend and colleague massed my shoulder for me as best she could with but my muscles were just rock solid. I felt pain all over my body it was like every muscle was in spasm.
Cath came home with me as her daughter was picking her up to take her to her other daughter who had a spare set of keys to her house, as Cath had locked herself out of her house this morning.
Bob was at my flat and had made us a drink, we chatted for a while and I had a couple of cigarettes and painkillers. When they both left I went to bed as I couldn't stand the pain anymore.
As I lay in bed I was thinking about Bobby, my son, he is coming home on Monday from Aberdeen where he works as a chef, their is 10 of us going out for a meal Monday night, I just hoped I would be able to go. Being in pain for long periods of time wears me out. I had a sandwich about 6.00pm and then went to bed. I woke about 3.00am and smoked a couple of cigarettes and had a cup of tea, then went back to bed.
Getting downstairs was quite difficult and painful, but I was determined to get out of the flat for a while.
I went and paid some bills and the rent and decided to go to the cafe in the park for a coffee.
After getting their my ankle joint was even more painful and then when I picked up my mug of coffee the muscle in my arm hurt and gave me a sharp pain, so I had to drink my coffee using my left hand, I then noticed my muscle in my left arm was swollen and quite warm and very sore if touched.
Getting back to the flat was a bit of a nightmare, every step i took hurt, I would of very much liked to have been "beamed up" like they used to do in Star Trek and be in my flat. It took about 40 minutes for me to get back. By then I was in agony and the sweat was pouring off me, the stairs didn't help either, at this point i just broke down crying, I'd really had enough now, I got my tablets, took some more painkillers and just lay on my bed. The friend came round, who's son had been buying "weed" I knew her reaction would be okay and when I told her she thanked me, they had already had suspicions and he had denied it. They knew that they wouldn't be able to stop him, but she could make him aware of the dangers. So basically that was my Thursday after she went I lay in bed and apart from getting up for a drink at about 7.30pm I spent the rest of the day night in bed.
Friday, I woke and felt so stiff almost rigid. It was very hard to get washed and dressed, the wash wasn't as good as it should of been and it took me along time to dress. Even my fingers were stiff and painful, so buttons were a no no, also a no no was make up and doing hair. So yes I went to work, I didn't even look in the mirror to see what I looked like! I had to delegate a lot of my work to colleagues, but they didn't mind, they know that I would only do that in exceptional circumstances. Cath a friend and colleague massed my shoulder for me as best she could with but my muscles were just rock solid. I felt pain all over my body it was like every muscle was in spasm.
Cath came home with me as her daughter was picking her up to take her to her other daughter who had a spare set of keys to her house, as Cath had locked herself out of her house this morning.
Bob was at my flat and had made us a drink, we chatted for a while and I had a couple of cigarettes and painkillers. When they both left I went to bed as I couldn't stand the pain anymore.
As I lay in bed I was thinking about Bobby, my son, he is coming home on Monday from Aberdeen where he works as a chef, their is 10 of us going out for a meal Monday night, I just hoped I would be able to go. Being in pain for long periods of time wears me out. I had a sandwich about 6.00pm and then went to bed. I woke about 3.00am and smoked a couple of cigarettes and had a cup of tea, then went back to bed.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
M.E not so good, but some things to look forward too
Monday I woke feeling really stiff and it was difficult to get out of bed, even more difficult and stressful was getting washed and dressed. My arms and fingers hurt like hell if I tried to use them. I lost my temper with myself because I couldn't do the buttons up on the blouse I wanted to wear and had to wear something else.
I was so glad that I had done my tablets on Saturday, I put them all in the compartments, morning, lunchtime, afternoon, dinnertime, evening and bedtime for each day of the week so all I had to do was slide the top off Monday - Morning, and swallow them. I put just enough water in a jug for a cup of tea and then poured it into the kettle. Lifting a mug of tea still hurt but not quite as bad as the previous day.
Luckily the painkillers and muscle relaxant's started to kick in before I went to work. It was a no make up day, a no hair done day as I wasn't able to do it. I hate it when I can't look after myself properly, it sends me on a downward spiral mentally so then I get depressed about being ill and end up feeling sorry for myself and get myself in a right state, crying one minute and ranting and raving the next. It takes a while for me to come back up after feeling like that, so it was good that later in the day I got a text from a friend, who is going off on her travels again, to ask if I would like to go for a meal before she goes.
Work was hard for me on Monday as I could hardly type but I managed to do the work I had to do.
After work I got back to the flat had more tablets and painkillers, a cup of tea, a couple of cigarettes and got back in bed. The pain in my fingers nearly drove me mad, thankfully tramadol and baclofen sent me to sleep for a couple of hours. When I woke my fingers felt slightly better so I got up and made a sandwich, a cup of tea and watched TV for a while, phoned my daughter Katie for a chat and to see how the packing was going, as they are moving to a bigger house at the weekend, not far from where they already live.After our chat I was so tired that I went to bed again at 7.00pm and I slept till 2.00am. I knew it was late for me to have my bedtime tablets but I took them anyway and within 30 minutes I was back in bed and fast asleep.
Tuesday I woke about 10.30am dripping with sweat, feeling very groggy, as you do if you've been partying the night before and drinking lots of alcohol, except in my case I hadn't had the fun of doing any of that! Its what I call Brain Fog!
Even after my sugar puffs, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes I still felt the same so their was only one place I was heading and that was bed. I slept solidly till 5.00pm! My day off had gone by without me really noticing it!
A friend came round about 7.00pm took one look at me and her comment was " you look really healthy....NOT". She made us a coffee and we chatted for about an hour and informed me she had seen one of our friends children smoking "Weed". The child is 15 and rebelling as we all did. If the "weed" was like the cannabis that I and many of us smoked 30 years ago I wouldn't have been too worried, but now a days its a lot different, other "stuff" is mixed with it and it can lead to other problems. So I thought about it and decided I would tell our friend, so I left her a private message on facebook asking her to "pop round" when she had time as I needed to speak to her.
In my job I see some client's who are drug or alcohol dependant sometimes they are dependant on both , some have been dependant for years and will continue to be so for the rest of their lives, others try to come off it with the help of methadone or some go to rehab or some go "cold turkey". I enjoy my job as I meet all sorts of people, its interesting, every day is different and I like a challenge, which sometimes it is.
My friend left about 9.00pm and I knew needed to have a bath as I had work the next morning, so I put some epsom salts and radox in the bath and filled up the bath. I always have difficulty getting in and out and usually end up hurting myself, this time was no different, the soak in the bath did me good and I was clean but getting out I had one foot on my step and missed it with the other foot so I half fell out of it!.
After being wrapped in a towel for 20minutes I'd had my bedtime tablets so I went to bed. not my bed but the spare bed, my bed needed stripping but I hadn't the energy to do it.
Wednesday I woke before my alarm went off, which was good, so I stripped my bed and left the window wide open and sprayed lavender round the room and on the mattress before I had even had my breakfast, as I knew I would need to have a rest after doing it.
I had my sugar puffs and two cups of tea and a couple of cigarettes, watched sky news for a few minutes then got my lunch together to take to work. I have been trying not to eat bread so much, so I got some crackled black pepper ryvita's and humus and cherry tomatoes and 3 satsumas and put them into my lunch box. Then I went for a wash and brushed my teeth. I swapped to an electric tooth brush about 8 years ago and I was glad of it on Wednesday morning as my arm muscles were still quite painful.
We didn't actually "Open " for client's on Wednesday as I was the only member of staff in. I quite enjoyed being on my own, I got quite a lot of work done, dealt with the phone calls etc had my lunch and I left a bit early. I went a walk round the market mooching at the stalls, I heard this horn from a van tooting and vaguely saw a person waving but really took no notice, then the van pulled up beside me and I realised it was my son Jonathan, he was in his bosses van on his way to an elderly lady who couldn't start her car, we had a chat for a couple of minutes then he went off and I carried on mooching round the market stalls. I had walked down one side of the street and then I saw Bob in Jon's car and he stopped so could get in and went back to my flat and had a coffee and chatted. Jon came later after work, stopped for a while then took Bob home and I fell asleep on the sofa. I hardly ever do that, usually if I feel I'm falling asleep will go and get into bed. Anyway I woke and had a cup of tea and then watched Frozen Planet on TV for a while, I don't watch the gory bits but I do love David Attenborough's programmes, I record most programmes I like because I can't just sit and watch for an hour, I watch in bits and pieces. Then I went on the computer for a while and looked at one of the M.E. groups on facebook, Raggy Dolls, its just women and we all have M.E or similar illnesses. It had been suggested that we do a calender for the 2013, we had lots of fun and have decided to do a burlesque them, a bit naughty, a bit sexy, but not over the top and I have volunteered to be one of the models!
I was so glad that I had done my tablets on Saturday, I put them all in the compartments, morning, lunchtime, afternoon, dinnertime, evening and bedtime for each day of the week so all I had to do was slide the top off Monday - Morning, and swallow them. I put just enough water in a jug for a cup of tea and then poured it into the kettle. Lifting a mug of tea still hurt but not quite as bad as the previous day.
Luckily the painkillers and muscle relaxant's started to kick in before I went to work. It was a no make up day, a no hair done day as I wasn't able to do it. I hate it when I can't look after myself properly, it sends me on a downward spiral mentally so then I get depressed about being ill and end up feeling sorry for myself and get myself in a right state, crying one minute and ranting and raving the next. It takes a while for me to come back up after feeling like that, so it was good that later in the day I got a text from a friend, who is going off on her travels again, to ask if I would like to go for a meal before she goes.
Work was hard for me on Monday as I could hardly type but I managed to do the work I had to do.
After work I got back to the flat had more tablets and painkillers, a cup of tea, a couple of cigarettes and got back in bed. The pain in my fingers nearly drove me mad, thankfully tramadol and baclofen sent me to sleep for a couple of hours. When I woke my fingers felt slightly better so I got up and made a sandwich, a cup of tea and watched TV for a while, phoned my daughter Katie for a chat and to see how the packing was going, as they are moving to a bigger house at the weekend, not far from where they already live.After our chat I was so tired that I went to bed again at 7.00pm and I slept till 2.00am. I knew it was late for me to have my bedtime tablets but I took them anyway and within 30 minutes I was back in bed and fast asleep.
Tuesday I woke about 10.30am dripping with sweat, feeling very groggy, as you do if you've been partying the night before and drinking lots of alcohol, except in my case I hadn't had the fun of doing any of that! Its what I call Brain Fog!
Even after my sugar puffs, 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes I still felt the same so their was only one place I was heading and that was bed. I slept solidly till 5.00pm! My day off had gone by without me really noticing it!
A friend came round about 7.00pm took one look at me and her comment was " you look really healthy....NOT". She made us a coffee and we chatted for about an hour and informed me she had seen one of our friends children smoking "Weed". The child is 15 and rebelling as we all did. If the "weed" was like the cannabis that I and many of us smoked 30 years ago I wouldn't have been too worried, but now a days its a lot different, other "stuff" is mixed with it and it can lead to other problems. So I thought about it and decided I would tell our friend, so I left her a private message on facebook asking her to "pop round" when she had time as I needed to speak to her.
In my job I see some client's who are drug or alcohol dependant sometimes they are dependant on both , some have been dependant for years and will continue to be so for the rest of their lives, others try to come off it with the help of methadone or some go to rehab or some go "cold turkey". I enjoy my job as I meet all sorts of people, its interesting, every day is different and I like a challenge, which sometimes it is.
My friend left about 9.00pm and I knew needed to have a bath as I had work the next morning, so I put some epsom salts and radox in the bath and filled up the bath. I always have difficulty getting in and out and usually end up hurting myself, this time was no different, the soak in the bath did me good and I was clean but getting out I had one foot on my step and missed it with the other foot so I half fell out of it!.
After being wrapped in a towel for 20minutes I'd had my bedtime tablets so I went to bed. not my bed but the spare bed, my bed needed stripping but I hadn't the energy to do it.
Wednesday I woke before my alarm went off, which was good, so I stripped my bed and left the window wide open and sprayed lavender round the room and on the mattress before I had even had my breakfast, as I knew I would need to have a rest after doing it.
I had my sugar puffs and two cups of tea and a couple of cigarettes, watched sky news for a few minutes then got my lunch together to take to work. I have been trying not to eat bread so much, so I got some crackled black pepper ryvita's and humus and cherry tomatoes and 3 satsumas and put them into my lunch box. Then I went for a wash and brushed my teeth. I swapped to an electric tooth brush about 8 years ago and I was glad of it on Wednesday morning as my arm muscles were still quite painful.
We didn't actually "Open " for client's on Wednesday as I was the only member of staff in. I quite enjoyed being on my own, I got quite a lot of work done, dealt with the phone calls etc had my lunch and I left a bit early. I went a walk round the market mooching at the stalls, I heard this horn from a van tooting and vaguely saw a person waving but really took no notice, then the van pulled up beside me and I realised it was my son Jonathan, he was in his bosses van on his way to an elderly lady who couldn't start her car, we had a chat for a couple of minutes then he went off and I carried on mooching round the market stalls. I had walked down one side of the street and then I saw Bob in Jon's car and he stopped so could get in and went back to my flat and had a coffee and chatted. Jon came later after work, stopped for a while then took Bob home and I fell asleep on the sofa. I hardly ever do that, usually if I feel I'm falling asleep will go and get into bed. Anyway I woke and had a cup of tea and then watched Frozen Planet on TV for a while, I don't watch the gory bits but I do love David Attenborough's programmes, I record most programmes I like because I can't just sit and watch for an hour, I watch in bits and pieces. Then I went on the computer for a while and looked at one of the M.E. groups on facebook, Raggy Dolls, its just women and we all have M.E or similar illnesses. It had been suggested that we do a calender for the 2013, we had lots of fun and have decided to do a burlesque them, a bit naughty, a bit sexy, but not over the top and I have volunteered to be one of the models!
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
28th-30th October with ME
Friday I slept through my alarm clock and woke at 8.00am! I didn't get to sleep till about 4.ooam because of the pain and I had taken more painkillers. I had to have sugar puffs before I left for work otherwise I would be fainting about 10.00am. I made it to work for 9.10am so only 10 minutes late, I looked like a dripping ice pop because I had been trying to rush. I was still the first person into work so I made a cup of tea and just sat for 15 minutes to try and recover!
Work was slow in the morning which I quite liked as I had next month's rota to do, I managed to get it done and after lunch quite a few clients came.
Home time came and I knew where I was going ............bed....... after a cigarette and a cup of tea. I was so tired and fatigued both in body and brain.
I slept till 9.00pm, I woke dripping with sweat, boiling hot, shaking and feeling zombefied. I needed a drink I was so thirsty, so had lemonade ice cold and with ice cubes, it was so refreshing. Smoked a couple of cigarette's had my bedtime tablets and got in bed but on the dry cold side, I didn't have the energy to strip the bed then.
I vaguely remember waking on Saturday morning and just rolling over and going back to sleep.
I eventually woke and got up at 4.00pm. I smelled badly of body odeur, sweat was just running off me so I needed to have a bath, a wash just wouldn't be good enough. So I put 2 cups of Epsom salts and radox in the bath and ran the water. This when I need someones help, I can't manage getting in or out with out hurting myself, so I dread it, hope fully the housing association will soon fit me a shower..
I managed to get in, and once in, it felt wonderful. I'm not one for lying in the bath for ages as I feel its like lying in dirty water after a while so 20 minutes is enough for me. I pull the plug with my feet so the water starts to drain away, then start the process of getting myself out! Its not an easy task, I'm not the lightest of people at 14stone! 15 minutes later with a bruised arm and hip I'm out, smelling a lot nicer!.
I just wrap one of my huge towels round me and wait till I'm dry.
I went out with a couple of friends to watch an Adele Tribute singer, she was very good and in the second half she sang songs by other artists, we even danced to 3 songs , I haven't danced for quite a few years,I was enjoying it so much I thought " lets have a go" after 3 I had had enough, by 11.45pm I went home as I was feeling shattered, but at least I had been out and enjoyed it. I remembered to turn my clock back, had a cup of tea, took tablets and went to bed.
Sunday morning came and I could hardly move my arms or legs, the muscles in my arms were like big lumps, I couldn't even lift the kettle to put water in it or lift a cup to my mouth with being in severe pain.
I got a can of coke out the fridge and pulled the ring, that made me cry out in pain, I found some straws that I had bought for when Matthew came, but luckily I hadn't used them all.
I took my morning tablets and painkillers and went back to bed, where I just lay for hours and cried for most of the time.
I hate this illness so much, I try my hardest to work and just do normal things and maybe go out once in a while, but the payback I get makes me wonder is it worth it, I can honestly say Sunday was one of the worst days for quite a few years. All I could do was lie on my bed and rest, I hate days like that, yes because of the pain, but also because i get so bored just lying in bed. But that was my Sunday.
Work was slow in the morning which I quite liked as I had next month's rota to do, I managed to get it done and after lunch quite a few clients came.
Home time came and I knew where I was going ............bed....... after a cigarette and a cup of tea. I was so tired and fatigued both in body and brain.
I slept till 9.00pm, I woke dripping with sweat, boiling hot, shaking and feeling zombefied. I needed a drink I was so thirsty, so had lemonade ice cold and with ice cubes, it was so refreshing. Smoked a couple of cigarette's had my bedtime tablets and got in bed but on the dry cold side, I didn't have the energy to strip the bed then.
I vaguely remember waking on Saturday morning and just rolling over and going back to sleep.
I eventually woke and got up at 4.00pm. I smelled badly of body odeur, sweat was just running off me so I needed to have a bath, a wash just wouldn't be good enough. So I put 2 cups of Epsom salts and radox in the bath and ran the water. This when I need someones help, I can't manage getting in or out with out hurting myself, so I dread it, hope fully the housing association will soon fit me a shower..
I managed to get in, and once in, it felt wonderful. I'm not one for lying in the bath for ages as I feel its like lying in dirty water after a while so 20 minutes is enough for me. I pull the plug with my feet so the water starts to drain away, then start the process of getting myself out! Its not an easy task, I'm not the lightest of people at 14stone! 15 minutes later with a bruised arm and hip I'm out, smelling a lot nicer!.
I just wrap one of my huge towels round me and wait till I'm dry.
I went out with a couple of friends to watch an Adele Tribute singer, she was very good and in the second half she sang songs by other artists, we even danced to 3 songs , I haven't danced for quite a few years,I was enjoying it so much I thought " lets have a go" after 3 I had had enough, by 11.45pm I went home as I was feeling shattered, but at least I had been out and enjoyed it. I remembered to turn my clock back, had a cup of tea, took tablets and went to bed.
Sunday morning came and I could hardly move my arms or legs, the muscles in my arms were like big lumps, I couldn't even lift the kettle to put water in it or lift a cup to my mouth with being in severe pain.
I got a can of coke out the fridge and pulled the ring, that made me cry out in pain, I found some straws that I had bought for when Matthew came, but luckily I hadn't used them all.
I took my morning tablets and painkillers and went back to bed, where I just lay for hours and cried for most of the time.
I hate this illness so much, I try my hardest to work and just do normal things and maybe go out once in a while, but the payback I get makes me wonder is it worth it, I can honestly say Sunday was one of the worst days for quite a few years. All I could do was lie on my bed and rest, I hate days like that, yes because of the pain, but also because i get so bored just lying in bed. But that was my Sunday.
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Weekend with family & a week ME with Matthew & Bob
Friday I woke up excited that Katie, Ross and Matthew were coming for the weekend. I had tidied the flat the evening before, the only thing I had to finish was making the spare bed up which I was going to do when I got in from work.
Work was quite busy so the day seemed to move quite quickly and before I knew it I was back at the flat making up the bed. I need to rest for a couple of hours, so I went to bed and slept for 3 hours. Katie texted at 6.30pm to say they were just leaving, so it would be 8.30pm when they got to me.
We were having jacket potatoes, Cumberland sausages beans and cheese for our meal, and I got most of it done just as the arrived.
I think Katie had packed enough stuff for a fortnights stay lol, poor Ross looked shattered carrying all the bags. I hadn't seen Katie for quite a few weeks, she was only about 6 weeks pregnant last time I saw her. Now she was 20 weeks and the bump had grown quite a lot! Matthew had grown taller too, and he was on a high because he knew he was staying with Grandad for the half term school break.
We all enjoyed our meal and Ross washed up, think he was trying to impress his future Mother-in law! Ross and I enjoyed a bottle of red wine, I was boiling hot and sweltering,I had put the heating on as Katie is opposite to me, she is thin and feels the cold. I am not thin and feel hot all the time!
We chatted and chatted and then I looked at my watch and it was 1.am.
Off to bed we all went, Matthew had decided he was sleeping in the spare bed, so Katie and Ross ended up in mine and I slept with Matthew, as I got into bed a little voice said"is it morning yet Nanny" I quickly told him it wasn't and that was it for me till he woke us up at 8.00am. I had had a really good sleep for a change.
After we all had breakfast and me having 2 cigarettes with 2 cups of tea we had a walk round Machynlleth and ended up in the cafe in the park.
This is my daughter Katie and her partner Ross.
My grandson Matthew who is 6 years old climbed up a tree in the park, he loves coming back to Machynlleth to see us. He and his grandad are so very close, they are best buddies.
Jon my son and his partner Sarah came to join us for a while, then Jon had to take Sarah to work. After the park Katie, Ross and Matthew went to Cemmaes to pick Bob up. We all had lunch at my flat then went to Aberdyfi.
Bob and Matthew on Aberdyfi beach, it was a beautiful sunny day but with a wind, we enjoyed a good hour on the beach, I sat on a lovely comfortable piece of driftwood in the sun watching the others playing football. Bob was in goal, using his walking stick to hit the ball.
Katie had had a couple of sharp pains low down and felt uncomfortable so we decided to go for a drink in one off the cafes.
Ross really enjoys the countryside and sea, he is from Essex and moved to Tenby about a year ago, that's where he and Katie met and now he lives with Katie in Carmarthen, but he thinks where we live is beautiful, which it is. Now I have my camera back I can take more photo's to use in the blog.
We went back to my flat and we prepared our evening meal, chicken stuffed with Stilton cheese and wrapped in parma ham, loads of steamed veg, new potatoes and a white wine and mushroom sauce and the one thing Ross had been dying to try homemade fresh pineapple upside down sponge with custard.
The meal went down a treat, the sea air had made us all hungry! Ross loved the pudding so Katie did promise she would make it for him!
Matthew decided he was going home with Grandad. So we decided to watch X Factor together then Ross and Katie would take Bob and Matthew back to Cemmaes.
Just as they were about to leave Katie noticed she was loosing blood! Ross took Bob and Matthew and I got Katie to lay on the sofa with loads of cushions so her legs were quite high.
She wasn't in any pain at all, which was a good sign so she just rested for a while. I took my tablets, Ross and I didn't have any wine just in case he had to drive Katie to hospital. We decided to phone the hospital, they wanted Katie in to be checked over and Katie wanted me their as well.
It was now about 1.00am and I'm having to fight against my tablets to stay awake as well as trying to stay calm for Katie and Ross, calmness didn't come easy, I could feel my heart racing with fear and panic. Thankfully the scan showed the baby was okay, probable cause is a low placenta.
We got back to my flat at 4.30am, we were wide awake by now so had a cup of tea and chatted for a while, then we were dropping like flies! The tiredness hit us and we went to bed at 5.30am.
I woke and by my watch it was 9.15am, so I though just have a few more minutes, the next thing I hear is Ross getting up to put the pork in for dinner and the door bell ringing, Katie had heard the bell before but just ignored it. Ross went down to answer it, Jon appeared and it was 1.15pm.... my watch had stopped.... Jon had been ringing the door bell for nearly half an hour, then had walked round town to see if he could see us!
I rang Bob to tell him about our eventful night and that we had only just woke up, he was shocked but relieved that Katie and baby were okay. I felt shattered, arms and legs hurt so it was tablets, painkillers, cups of tea and cigarette for me. Slowly I came round to normality.
Ross helped do dinner and he was looking forward to homemade apple crumble, I had promised to save some for Bob, Matthew and Jon to have on Tuesday. So while Ross helped me do dinner Katie went to visit a friend.
Our meal was lovely and Ross and Katie washed the dishes while I sat down and rested.
They left at 7.15pm and fatigue overcame me and I was in bed at 8.00pm.
It was a lovely weekend apart from Saturday night Sunday morning, we all could have done without that bit of trauma.
I slept through the alarm on Monday morning and woke at 8.00am I had slept solidly for 12 hours, but I still felt shattered, that's it with this illness, even when you do sleep you wake feeling zombefied! Somehow I managed to get to work, I knew I looked awful from the quick glance in the bathroom mirror earlier! I just hoped I didn't put my client's off! We were busy too and by the end of the session I was ready to drop, but I knew I had to wait for a phone call off Katie as she was going to hospital for a detailed scan and was going to ask the sex of the baby. At about 3.30pm the call came and she told me she was having a boy and that he was going to be called Charlie James and that everything was okay and she would send me a picture of the scan.
After the call, my bed was calling me, I just needed a cup of tea, painkillers and a cigarette first.
I slept till 8.30pm, woke felling like death warmed up and rang Bob to see how his and Matthew's day had been. They had been having fun all day and Katie had rang to tell them the news. Bob had arranged to borrow Jon's car for Tuesday so they were coming to mine after they had dropped Jon off at work about 9.00am. More tablets and painkillers then bed for me as I was so fatigued I could hardly stand up.
By Tuesday morning I started to feel a bit better and was up and dressed for when Bob and Matthew arrived. We decided to go to Aberystwyth, it was quite a nice day weather wise and we had to go to Halfords for Matthew to pick a bike, that Nanny and Grandad could tell Santa that Matthew would like for Christmas.
We walked to the sea front in Aberystwyth and had a latte at the outside cafe, I love sitting their just watching the sea, to me it very relaxing. I don't like the beach at all here, but sometimes looking at the sea I have seen seals and dolphins.
Bob and Matthew, Matthew on a day where he didn't really want his photo took!
Matthew picked his bike, so we now know which one to tell Santa!
We have always bought him his bikes from when he was little and he had a trike.
When we got back to the flat Bob and I made a soup, Chick peas, celery, fennel, onion, carrots, tin tomatoes, fresh basil and oregano, and half a bottle white wine and vegetable stock Bob did all the chopping up as I can't do it any more, cook, then blend.
Jon was coming too for soup and apple crumble. I had to leave before he got their as I was on the evening session at work. That really made me fed up because we had no client's and I had missed having tea with them all.
When I got back to the flat I then went and gave out some of the bodyshop orders to people who had come to the party.
A friend I went to told me her daughter had started doing cleaning for people. I knew I wasn't doing as well as I had liked looking after the flat and it had started to get too me that it wasn't as clean as it should be or as I liked it. So I contacted her and I arranged for her to come and clean the flat for 2 hours a week whilst I was in work. I went to bed about 10.00pm, I did think about my blog but that was as far as it got, I hadn't got the energy to concentrate and the muscle in my right arm had spasmed and I couldn't even pick up a cup of tea, the pain was too much. I had been given this Voltrol gel so I put some of it on, but no good, so it was painkillers and bed for me.
Wednesday was the first day my cleaner was coming, to be honest I was looking forward to coming back to the flat after work, it would be all nice and fresh and clean.
Work was very busy again, one of my colleagues had been away so we had a lot of catching up to do as well. I popped out of work and went to the market meat man and bought a load of chicken breasts, this is the meat I mainly eat when I do have a main meal. Going into the flat after work was lovely, as soon as I walked in, the fragrance of freshness hit me, everywhere looked lovely and clean, thank you to my lady that does!
Then I walked down to the hairdressers where I knew 2 of my friends were having their hair done, we had a good chat and a few laughs. I went back to the flat shattered my arm wasn't as bad but it still gave me a sharp pain when I picked my cup of tea up.
I had a rest on my bed for a couple of hours, it was lovely, I lay on top of the bed and the sun was shinning through the window.
Another friend popped round about 6.30pm to see if I needed anything and to make sure I was okay, she stayed for an hour or so. I had eaten lunch at work and now was too tired to eat so it was a cup of tea, tablets and bed for me at 8.30pm. I woke a 3.00am shivering and dripping with sweat, I had hoped this had stopped as it had been a few days since this had happened, so it was a wash, tea and cigarette then I got back into bed on the other side!
I woke this morning to my mobile phone ringing, I had again slept through the alarm, it was Bob ringing to tell me he and Matthew were on their way to the flat.
I can't do anything quickly, so when they arrived 2 minutes later I did not look my best to say the least.
Bob made us drinks, I had sugar puffs thinking they might give me some much needed energy and the a couple of cigarettes sat by the window. I tried to wash my hair but my arms were hurting so Bob washed it for me, then I needed to have a rest after standing with my head over the sink. Bob must have noticed I looked awful so he told me to go back to bed for a couple of hours.
He woke me at 12.30pm, I felt better than I had so we went out for a walk in the park and then visited a proper old fashioned sweetshop. I could of had a quarter of everything in their lol, so could Bob, well its a 100 grams now not quarters anymore! Matthew was gobsmacked, their was so much choice, in the end he had a few of about five different sweets. I got some chewy apple bonbons and Bob had some chewy teacakes,they were all lovely, I think it may be a regular shop I visit!
Jon came and picked Bob and Matthew up and took them home about 6.30pm. Then I suddenly realised I hadn't done any work on my blog for nearly a week!
So this is what I have been doing tonight from 7.30 till now 10.55pm.
Now I must go to sleep as my bed is shouting at me. Goodnight xx
Work was quite busy so the day seemed to move quite quickly and before I knew it I was back at the flat making up the bed. I need to rest for a couple of hours, so I went to bed and slept for 3 hours. Katie texted at 6.30pm to say they were just leaving, so it would be 8.30pm when they got to me.
We were having jacket potatoes, Cumberland sausages beans and cheese for our meal, and I got most of it done just as the arrived.
I think Katie had packed enough stuff for a fortnights stay lol, poor Ross looked shattered carrying all the bags. I hadn't seen Katie for quite a few weeks, she was only about 6 weeks pregnant last time I saw her. Now she was 20 weeks and the bump had grown quite a lot! Matthew had grown taller too, and he was on a high because he knew he was staying with Grandad for the half term school break.
We all enjoyed our meal and Ross washed up, think he was trying to impress his future Mother-in law! Ross and I enjoyed a bottle of red wine, I was boiling hot and sweltering,I had put the heating on as Katie is opposite to me, she is thin and feels the cold. I am not thin and feel hot all the time!
We chatted and chatted and then I looked at my watch and it was 1.am.
Off to bed we all went, Matthew had decided he was sleeping in the spare bed, so Katie and Ross ended up in mine and I slept with Matthew, as I got into bed a little voice said"is it morning yet Nanny" I quickly told him it wasn't and that was it for me till he woke us up at 8.00am. I had had a really good sleep for a change.
After we all had breakfast and me having 2 cigarettes with 2 cups of tea we had a walk round Machynlleth and ended up in the cafe in the park.
Jon my son and his partner Sarah came to join us for a while, then Jon had to take Sarah to work. After the park Katie, Ross and Matthew went to Cemmaes to pick Bob up. We all had lunch at my flat then went to Aberdyfi.
Katie had had a couple of sharp pains low down and felt uncomfortable so we decided to go for a drink in one off the cafes.
Ross really enjoys the countryside and sea, he is from Essex and moved to Tenby about a year ago, that's where he and Katie met and now he lives with Katie in Carmarthen, but he thinks where we live is beautiful, which it is. Now I have my camera back I can take more photo's to use in the blog.
We went back to my flat and we prepared our evening meal, chicken stuffed with Stilton cheese and wrapped in parma ham, loads of steamed veg, new potatoes and a white wine and mushroom sauce and the one thing Ross had been dying to try homemade fresh pineapple upside down sponge with custard.
The meal went down a treat, the sea air had made us all hungry! Ross loved the pudding so Katie did promise she would make it for him!
Matthew decided he was going home with Grandad. So we decided to watch X Factor together then Ross and Katie would take Bob and Matthew back to Cemmaes.
Just as they were about to leave Katie noticed she was loosing blood! Ross took Bob and Matthew and I got Katie to lay on the sofa with loads of cushions so her legs were quite high.
She wasn't in any pain at all, which was a good sign so she just rested for a while. I took my tablets, Ross and I didn't have any wine just in case he had to drive Katie to hospital. We decided to phone the hospital, they wanted Katie in to be checked over and Katie wanted me their as well.
It was now about 1.00am and I'm having to fight against my tablets to stay awake as well as trying to stay calm for Katie and Ross, calmness didn't come easy, I could feel my heart racing with fear and panic. Thankfully the scan showed the baby was okay, probable cause is a low placenta.
We got back to my flat at 4.30am, we were wide awake by now so had a cup of tea and chatted for a while, then we were dropping like flies! The tiredness hit us and we went to bed at 5.30am.
I woke and by my watch it was 9.15am, so I though just have a few more minutes, the next thing I hear is Ross getting up to put the pork in for dinner and the door bell ringing, Katie had heard the bell before but just ignored it. Ross went down to answer it, Jon appeared and it was 1.15pm.... my watch had stopped.... Jon had been ringing the door bell for nearly half an hour, then had walked round town to see if he could see us!
I rang Bob to tell him about our eventful night and that we had only just woke up, he was shocked but relieved that Katie and baby were okay. I felt shattered, arms and legs hurt so it was tablets, painkillers, cups of tea and cigarette for me. Slowly I came round to normality.
Ross helped do dinner and he was looking forward to homemade apple crumble, I had promised to save some for Bob, Matthew and Jon to have on Tuesday. So while Ross helped me do dinner Katie went to visit a friend.
Our meal was lovely and Ross and Katie washed the dishes while I sat down and rested.
They left at 7.15pm and fatigue overcame me and I was in bed at 8.00pm.
It was a lovely weekend apart from Saturday night Sunday morning, we all could have done without that bit of trauma.
I slept through the alarm on Monday morning and woke at 8.00am I had slept solidly for 12 hours, but I still felt shattered, that's it with this illness, even when you do sleep you wake feeling zombefied! Somehow I managed to get to work, I knew I looked awful from the quick glance in the bathroom mirror earlier! I just hoped I didn't put my client's off! We were busy too and by the end of the session I was ready to drop, but I knew I had to wait for a phone call off Katie as she was going to hospital for a detailed scan and was going to ask the sex of the baby. At about 3.30pm the call came and she told me she was having a boy and that he was going to be called Charlie James and that everything was okay and she would send me a picture of the scan.
After the call, my bed was calling me, I just needed a cup of tea, painkillers and a cigarette first.
I slept till 8.30pm, woke felling like death warmed up and rang Bob to see how his and Matthew's day had been. They had been having fun all day and Katie had rang to tell them the news. Bob had arranged to borrow Jon's car for Tuesday so they were coming to mine after they had dropped Jon off at work about 9.00am. More tablets and painkillers then bed for me as I was so fatigued I could hardly stand up.
By Tuesday morning I started to feel a bit better and was up and dressed for when Bob and Matthew arrived. We decided to go to Aberystwyth, it was quite a nice day weather wise and we had to go to Halfords for Matthew to pick a bike, that Nanny and Grandad could tell Santa that Matthew would like for Christmas.
Matthew picked his bike, so we now know which one to tell Santa!
We have always bought him his bikes from when he was little and he had a trike.
When we got back to the flat Bob and I made a soup, Chick peas, celery, fennel, onion, carrots, tin tomatoes, fresh basil and oregano, and half a bottle white wine and vegetable stock Bob did all the chopping up as I can't do it any more, cook, then blend.
Jon was coming too for soup and apple crumble. I had to leave before he got their as I was on the evening session at work. That really made me fed up because we had no client's and I had missed having tea with them all.
When I got back to the flat I then went and gave out some of the bodyshop orders to people who had come to the party.
A friend I went to told me her daughter had started doing cleaning for people. I knew I wasn't doing as well as I had liked looking after the flat and it had started to get too me that it wasn't as clean as it should be or as I liked it. So I contacted her and I arranged for her to come and clean the flat for 2 hours a week whilst I was in work. I went to bed about 10.00pm, I did think about my blog but that was as far as it got, I hadn't got the energy to concentrate and the muscle in my right arm had spasmed and I couldn't even pick up a cup of tea, the pain was too much. I had been given this Voltrol gel so I put some of it on, but no good, so it was painkillers and bed for me.
Wednesday was the first day my cleaner was coming, to be honest I was looking forward to coming back to the flat after work, it would be all nice and fresh and clean.
Work was very busy again, one of my colleagues had been away so we had a lot of catching up to do as well. I popped out of work and went to the market meat man and bought a load of chicken breasts, this is the meat I mainly eat when I do have a main meal. Going into the flat after work was lovely, as soon as I walked in, the fragrance of freshness hit me, everywhere looked lovely and clean, thank you to my lady that does!
Then I walked down to the hairdressers where I knew 2 of my friends were having their hair done, we had a good chat and a few laughs. I went back to the flat shattered my arm wasn't as bad but it still gave me a sharp pain when I picked my cup of tea up.
I had a rest on my bed for a couple of hours, it was lovely, I lay on top of the bed and the sun was shinning through the window.
Another friend popped round about 6.30pm to see if I needed anything and to make sure I was okay, she stayed for an hour or so. I had eaten lunch at work and now was too tired to eat so it was a cup of tea, tablets and bed for me at 8.30pm. I woke a 3.00am shivering and dripping with sweat, I had hoped this had stopped as it had been a few days since this had happened, so it was a wash, tea and cigarette then I got back into bed on the other side!
I woke this morning to my mobile phone ringing, I had again slept through the alarm, it was Bob ringing to tell me he and Matthew were on their way to the flat.
I can't do anything quickly, so when they arrived 2 minutes later I did not look my best to say the least.
Bob made us drinks, I had sugar puffs thinking they might give me some much needed energy and the a couple of cigarettes sat by the window. I tried to wash my hair but my arms were hurting so Bob washed it for me, then I needed to have a rest after standing with my head over the sink. Bob must have noticed I looked awful so he told me to go back to bed for a couple of hours.
He woke me at 12.30pm, I felt better than I had so we went out for a walk in the park and then visited a proper old fashioned sweetshop. I could of had a quarter of everything in their lol, so could Bob, well its a 100 grams now not quarters anymore! Matthew was gobsmacked, their was so much choice, in the end he had a few of about five different sweets. I got some chewy apple bonbons and Bob had some chewy teacakes,they were all lovely, I think it may be a regular shop I visit!
Jon came and picked Bob and Matthew up and took them home about 6.30pm. Then I suddenly realised I hadn't done any work on my blog for nearly a week!
So this is what I have been doing tonight from 7.30 till now 10.55pm.
Now I must go to sleep as my bed is shouting at me. Goodnight xx
Thursday, 20 October 2011
ME and my Husband go food shopping for the weekend
I was awake at 3.00am, my arm and leg muscles were causing me severe pain so I had more Tramadol 2 cups of tea and 2 cigarettes. 4.00am staggered back to bed, I slept from about 5.00am.
Bob was arriving at 10.00am so I got up at 9.00am feeling quite dopey, again like I had been to a great all night party! I had my sugar puffs before I did anything hoping that the sugar would bounce some energy into me quickly. It didn't, having a was seemed like "in slow motion" I was still getting ready when bob arrived at 10.00am, I had sat down for 15minutes and had a cup of tea and smoked 2 cigarettes! He was okay, made himself a coffee and just chatted till I was ready.
Their are some beautiful views on the way to Aberystwyth next time i go I will take some photo's to put on my blog.
Our first shop was Morrison's,Bob held onto and pushed the trolley rather than use his walking stick.
I got lots of satsumas, as I know my grandson Matthew loves these and lots of veggies, he's not so keen on them lol. Then the cheese and meats, all of us like these, Katie's partner Ross has been told about my pineapple upside down cake so this is one of the deserts the other is apple crumble all of us love to eat these too. We bought so much we very nearly had to go and get another trolley.
Just as I started to queue I felt a blood sugar drop coming on, the sweat started, the shaking and my eyes weren't focusing properly. I felt really ill, luckily our shopping was now on the conveyor belt being checked through, so I just had to hang on and not faint for hopefully 2 minutes. I went and sat down in the cafe part I had told Bob what I wanted or rather needed. Once I ate and drank after about half an hour I was fine again.
I told Bob how much I had spent he just grinned and I said when its just me I hardly bother, his reply was" well after I have paid everything I have to pay out like electric, water, car insurance I have £12.50 a week left to spend on food. Since I left he was put on Job Seekers Allowance which is £67.50 a week! This shocked me to the core, that he only had £12.50 for food! How anyone lives on that I don't know. A politician a few years a go lived on Job seekers allowance for a couple of weeks, yeah couple of weeks is nothing though, he would have to buy any clothes or shoes in that time, he paid for his electric through a meter, he never went through a Christmas living on that benefit, so really he has no bloody idea what its like to have to live on such a low amount of money!
I have been giving Bob Bags of shopping and I buy my dog his food and pay any vets bills and I give Bob a pouch of tobacco most weeks. and we go to the local Indian restaurant sometimes and I pay for him. I give him money if he is going on the boat or fishing with his brothers, its always a battle to get him to accept it, but I make him have it, because if I hadn't left he wouldn't be living like he is.
I don't think if you are on this benefit you can live a life like a normal person. Its degrading, its depressing and it gives people no hope.
We went and got a bag of chips and sat on the bench and ate them, they were lovely and I had lots of crunchy bits in the bottom of mine, we chatted while we ate, mostly about the kids when they were young.
After we went to lidl and Iceland all our bags were full, well Matthew is staying with Bob while he is on half-term so I got them some goodies and Katie is taking other food, Bob and Matthew love being together.
We got back to the flat and I started to unpack some of the shopping while Bob made a drink
I was starting to feel shattered, we drank our drinks and Bob went home to walk the dog and feed him. I was in bed at 5.00pm and I think I slept as soon as my head hit the pillow.
7.30pm I awoke, I knew Birmingham City were playing football tonight so I watched the Spurs game till halve time, then they showed Birmingham, they won 2-1, I was well pleased with that!
I decided to strip the spare bed ready for my guests. Matthew has already been told that he is sleeping with Nanny in her great big bed.... he seemed quite pleased with that....
Well by day has seemed a busy one. My Epsom salts arrived today so I shall try and get into the bath tomorrow evening and have my first ever Epsom's Salt bath, they are supposed to be wonderful.
I will let you know, take care all of you, xx
Bob was arriving at 10.00am so I got up at 9.00am feeling quite dopey, again like I had been to a great all night party! I had my sugar puffs before I did anything hoping that the sugar would bounce some energy into me quickly. It didn't, having a was seemed like "in slow motion" I was still getting ready when bob arrived at 10.00am, I had sat down for 15minutes and had a cup of tea and smoked 2 cigarettes! He was okay, made himself a coffee and just chatted till I was ready.
Their are some beautiful views on the way to Aberystwyth next time i go I will take some photo's to put on my blog.
Our first shop was Morrison's,Bob held onto and pushed the trolley rather than use his walking stick.
I got lots of satsumas, as I know my grandson Matthew loves these and lots of veggies, he's not so keen on them lol. Then the cheese and meats, all of us like these, Katie's partner Ross has been told about my pineapple upside down cake so this is one of the deserts the other is apple crumble all of us love to eat these too. We bought so much we very nearly had to go and get another trolley.
Just as I started to queue I felt a blood sugar drop coming on, the sweat started, the shaking and my eyes weren't focusing properly. I felt really ill, luckily our shopping was now on the conveyor belt being checked through, so I just had to hang on and not faint for hopefully 2 minutes. I went and sat down in the cafe part I had told Bob what I wanted or rather needed. Once I ate and drank after about half an hour I was fine again.
I told Bob how much I had spent he just grinned and I said when its just me I hardly bother, his reply was" well after I have paid everything I have to pay out like electric, water, car insurance I have £12.50 a week left to spend on food. Since I left he was put on Job Seekers Allowance which is £67.50 a week! This shocked me to the core, that he only had £12.50 for food! How anyone lives on that I don't know. A politician a few years a go lived on Job seekers allowance for a couple of weeks, yeah couple of weeks is nothing though, he would have to buy any clothes or shoes in that time, he paid for his electric through a meter, he never went through a Christmas living on that benefit, so really he has no bloody idea what its like to have to live on such a low amount of money!
I have been giving Bob Bags of shopping and I buy my dog his food and pay any vets bills and I give Bob a pouch of tobacco most weeks. and we go to the local Indian restaurant sometimes and I pay for him. I give him money if he is going on the boat or fishing with his brothers, its always a battle to get him to accept it, but I make him have it, because if I hadn't left he wouldn't be living like he is.
I don't think if you are on this benefit you can live a life like a normal person. Its degrading, its depressing and it gives people no hope.
We went and got a bag of chips and sat on the bench and ate them, they were lovely and I had lots of crunchy bits in the bottom of mine, we chatted while we ate, mostly about the kids when they were young.
After we went to lidl and Iceland all our bags were full, well Matthew is staying with Bob while he is on half-term so I got them some goodies and Katie is taking other food, Bob and Matthew love being together.
We got back to the flat and I started to unpack some of the shopping while Bob made a drink
I was starting to feel shattered, we drank our drinks and Bob went home to walk the dog and feed him. I was in bed at 5.00pm and I think I slept as soon as my head hit the pillow.
7.30pm I awoke, I knew Birmingham City were playing football tonight so I watched the Spurs game till halve time, then they showed Birmingham, they won 2-1, I was well pleased with that!
I decided to strip the spare bed ready for my guests. Matthew has already been told that he is sleeping with Nanny in her great big bed.... he seemed quite pleased with that....
Well by day has seemed a busy one. My Epsom salts arrived today so I shall try and get into the bath tomorrow evening and have my first ever Epsom's Salt bath, they are supposed to be wonderful.
I will let you know, take care all of you, xx
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Wednesday work and later ME in the Autumn sunshine
I was up again at 2.00am this morning needing painkillers, a cup of tea and of course a couple of cigarette's, think it was about 3.30 before I slept, then it felt like only 5 minutes before the alarm was screaming in my head!
I am having a craving for sugar puffs, so that's what I had for my breakfast, haven't had them for years but I am making up for lost time, I'm eating quite a lot and not just for breakfast! I had wanted to go to the fruit stall and meat man on the market before work but I just didn't have the energy and their was no one who had any spare time at work to go for me, so will have to hope that next week I have the energy to go.
Work was busy today, lots of clients and paperwork, the muscles in my arms are hurting like hell from all the typing. So I'm doing this blog in 5 minute sessions.
A client today who is claiming Disability Living Allowance had lost his claim for Incapacity and been told he is fit for work! How on earth can a Atos give a person who is disabled no points and tell them to get a job. I don't understand why the government are letting this happen to people who are clearly ill and vulnerable, and where the hell are the jobs, who is going to employ people with disabilities over people that haven't got any problems. Okay rant over! for now!
I couldn't go for my usual nap after work as I was expecting a maintenance man from the housing association to visit, so I just sat in my living room by the window, a cup of tea and a cigarette, gazing at the view, brilliant autumnal sunshine shone over me, it felt wonderful, looked wonderful and it was wonderful I just sat their watching the birds and the branches of the trees swaying in the breeze for quite a while before I felt my eyes drooping and my head nodding! Yes I was about to fall asleep. I got up and made a coffee realising it was 5.45pm, the maintenance man hadn't been so I wrote it on my calender as a reminder for me to ring him tomorrow .
I was expecting more visitors about 6pm and they did arrive. Brenda and Zoe, Brenda is my boss at work as well as being a friend, Zoe is her daughter who lives in America, she is also a friend and we keep in touch on facebook. We had hugs, a glass of red and chatted lol, they were only supposed to "pop in" and then go and get fish and chips! Nearly an hour later, they rushed off to get dinner, while I finished the bottle of red wine!
A lot of people with M.E have a bad reaction to alcohol, I'm quite lucky as I don't, so I do enjoy the odd glass or two of wine, an archers and lemonade or even a few rum and cokes etc etc !
Well hopefully I will sleep tonight (the wine might help) as tomorrow I'm going to Aberystwyth with Bob (my husband), for food shopping as Katie, Ross, and Matthew are coming,( our daughter, her partner and Matthew is our grandson) for the weekend, a menu has been worked out, Katie is going to help cook now I just have to go and get it all. Plus I want to look at the new NEXT shop that recently opened.
Night everybody
Take care
XX
I am having a craving for sugar puffs, so that's what I had for my breakfast, haven't had them for years but I am making up for lost time, I'm eating quite a lot and not just for breakfast! I had wanted to go to the fruit stall and meat man on the market before work but I just didn't have the energy and their was no one who had any spare time at work to go for me, so will have to hope that next week I have the energy to go.
Work was busy today, lots of clients and paperwork, the muscles in my arms are hurting like hell from all the typing. So I'm doing this blog in 5 minute sessions.
A client today who is claiming Disability Living Allowance had lost his claim for Incapacity and been told he is fit for work! How on earth can a Atos give a person who is disabled no points and tell them to get a job. I don't understand why the government are letting this happen to people who are clearly ill and vulnerable, and where the hell are the jobs, who is going to employ people with disabilities over people that haven't got any problems. Okay rant over! for now!
I couldn't go for my usual nap after work as I was expecting a maintenance man from the housing association to visit, so I just sat in my living room by the window, a cup of tea and a cigarette, gazing at the view, brilliant autumnal sunshine shone over me, it felt wonderful, looked wonderful and it was wonderful I just sat their watching the birds and the branches of the trees swaying in the breeze for quite a while before I felt my eyes drooping and my head nodding! Yes I was about to fall asleep. I got up and made a coffee realising it was 5.45pm, the maintenance man hadn't been so I wrote it on my calender as a reminder for me to ring him tomorrow .
I was expecting more visitors about 6pm and they did arrive. Brenda and Zoe, Brenda is my boss at work as well as being a friend, Zoe is her daughter who lives in America, she is also a friend and we keep in touch on facebook. We had hugs, a glass of red and chatted lol, they were only supposed to "pop in" and then go and get fish and chips! Nearly an hour later, they rushed off to get dinner, while I finished the bottle of red wine!
A lot of people with M.E have a bad reaction to alcohol, I'm quite lucky as I don't, so I do enjoy the odd glass or two of wine, an archers and lemonade or even a few rum and cokes etc etc !
Well hopefully I will sleep tonight (the wine might help) as tomorrow I'm going to Aberystwyth with Bob (my husband), for food shopping as Katie, Ross, and Matthew are coming,( our daughter, her partner and Matthew is our grandson) for the weekend, a menu has been worked out, Katie is going to help cook now I just have to go and get it all. Plus I want to look at the new NEXT shop that recently opened.
Night everybody
Take care
XX
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